Hood boss VHS
He's in charge of pies this year
He'll prolly fuck them

Making hand turkeys
So boring. Trace Grandad's schlong!
It's a shapeshifter

Corn acreage here
Save the cobs to wipe our bums
Huge turkey wattle!

What a hearty meal
Feel free to unzip your pants
Free your blunderbus

You say "circle jerk"
As if that would be a bad thing.
Turkey grease on palms.

Extra white gravy.
Do not let it go to waste.
Mixed with your stuffing.

A bottled green gas
would be the perfect stinky
x-mas gift for me.

X-mas from the ass.
The lass passed gas from her ass,
bottled in clear gas.

The gas was off-green,
looking sort of like chlorine,
But much more toxic.

The first Thanksgiving
Wasn't it a circle jerk
Around the table?

That ain't no crime, Darth
You left a work of art there
Hanging in the loo

The longer I live
The more I look like Santa
I want to believe

Forget about a kiss
Mistletoe Fellatio
A gift from our dog

Bottling my farts
To give as holiday gifts
Some are Grinch green, too

Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Now shout it from the rooftops!
You can be a star

I forgot to flush.
That's, my friend, my only crime.
Death sentence imposed.

Ah, fuck it, not in the mood to count.
5757575757557575757575. piss on it.

Take the o from count.
Then release your flatulence.
Then repeat step one.

You've got cunthfart cunt.

JOY!

Breaking down the wind
One fart at a time. Mindful.
Yeah, God would like that

Sir Darth Figpucker
A fugitive from justice
Conditioner Theft

Mustard on his dick
Ketchup on his balls. What's next?
Mayo on the walls

An abusuve God
Who needs it. Trash Deadbeat dad
Dude, give it a rest

You make the art here.
Get your head out of your ass.
Fear God. Then create.

Here there is no art.
I think I've said that before.
No one believes me.

I do not

Give that girl some mustard!

The penis is a hot dog.

The Grinch has dog penis.

The dog has grinch feet

Even though I

With each somersault
I release diarrhea
Look, I made a trail

Doc. Darth Figpucker
His Haiku can cure the sick
Stop Diarrhea

Do midgets have big dicks?
Or do they just look bigger
On midget body

YOU give her cunnilingus.

It only lets me write one line of haiku

Give your wife cunnilingus

I have diarrhea

Are midgets

Are midgets

Wanted to goose you
Make your neck hairs stand on end
Maybe something else

Just want a smidgen
I guess I need new sandals
You hear me creepin

I can smell Jesus
Like a hot musky tiger
Prowling for my soul

I rigged all the votes.
President Figpucker has
a nice ring to it.

Starkitten, you'd just
need a small strap on green bean.
She would never know.

I'm so excited
about vote-rigging and fraud
Bring it on, twinkies

Sorry. HIS fat wife...
Or should I say "Rubenesque".
No penis. Got it.

I can't fuck your wife
I'm a woman. Have no penis.
She'd know the difference

Your fat horny wife
Waits in vain for your Haiku.
(Your well-placed Haiku . . .)

My fat horny wife is waiting for me to come to be and I'm not in the mood to hump a sack of lard right now so I'm staying up pretending to work but instead really just writing shit on here so I don't have to pound the pig tonight and smell that fat woman sweat and I wish she would get really drunk so I'd just pay someone else to fuck her and she'd think it was me. Starkitten, you want some extra cash? I'd ask Cuntfart Cunt, but Jesus, diseases, you know.

I'd be shit-faced drunk,
Lying in my own vomit.
But no, calculus.

And sadly, of course,
if you read my haiku, then
you can smell my corpse.

What's amazing is
that when I read your haiku,
I can see your corpse.

It is nothing new.
When I look in the mirror
I see my own corpse.

One, two, three, four, five.
Count them! Five. Five Syllables!
MWAH HAH HAH HA HAAAH!

*Boom crackle crash*

Severed limbs still twitch;
Wet blood sprayed on walls,clotting . . .
You see your own corpse

We love Haiku more
than life itself. Look within:
Empty eye sockets