Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 153 Days and 70445 Haikus later...

With each somersault
I release diarrhea
Look, I made a trail
Haiku # 60702, November 3, 2018 1:22 am ET
by Acrobutt
Doc. Darth Figpucker
His Haiku can cure the sick
Stop Diarrhea
Haiku # 60701, November 3, 2018 1:21 am ET
by Sick person
Do midgets have big dicks?
Or do they just look bigger
On midget body
Haiku # 60700, November 3, 2018 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
YOU give her cunnilingus.
Haiku # 60699, November 3, 2018 1:13 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It only lets me write one line of haiku
Haiku # 60698, November 3, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Because I have watery of Diarrhea
Give your wife cunnilingus
Haiku # 60697, November 3, 2018 12:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have diarrhea
Haiku # 60696, November 3, 2018 12:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are midgets
Haiku # 60695, November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are midgets
Haiku # 60694, November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wanted to goose you
Make your neck hairs stand on end
Maybe something else
Haiku # 60693, November 3, 2018 12:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just want a smidgen
I guess I need new sandals
You hear me creepin
Haiku # 60692, November 3, 2018 12:38 am ET
by Jeez us of Eye of the Tiger
I can smell Jesus
Like a hot musky tiger
Prowling for my soul
Haiku # 60691, November 3, 2018 12:26 am ET
by Religious Inexperience
I rigged all the votes.
President Figpucker has
a nice ring to it.
Haiku # 60690, November 2, 2018 8:00 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Starkitten, you'd just
need a small strap on green bean.
She would never know.
Haiku # 60689, November 2, 2018 7:44 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'm so excited
about vote-rigging and fraud
Bring it on, twinkies
Haiku # 60688, November 2, 2018 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sorry. HIS fat wife...
Or should I say "Rubenesque".
No penis. Got it.
Haiku # 60687, November 2, 2018 4:56 pm ET
by Figpucker Intervention Squad
I can't fuck your wife
I'm a woman. Have no penis.
She'd know the difference
Haiku # 60686, November 2, 2018 3:20 pm ET
by Starkitten
Your fat horny wife
Waits in vain for your Haiku.
(Your well-placed Haiku . . .)
Haiku # 60685, November 2, 2018 11:39 am ET
by Haiku Police of Syllabic Task-Force Unit 575
My fat horny wife is waiting for me to come to be and I'm not in the mood to hump a sack of lard right now so I'm staying up pretending to work but instead really just writing shit on here so I don't have to pound the pig tonight and smell that fat woman sweat and I wish she would get really drunk so I'd just pay someone else to fuck her and she'd think it was me. Starkitten, you want some extra cash? I'd ask Cuntfart Cunt, but Jesus, diseases, you know.
Haiku # 60684, November 2, 2018 10:28 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'd be shit-faced drunk,
Lying in my own vomit.
But no, calculus.
Haiku # 60683, November 2, 2018 10:22 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
And sadly, of course,
if you read my haiku, then
you can smell my corpse.
Haiku # 60682, November 2, 2018 10:06 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
What's amazing is
that when I read your haiku,
I can see your corpse.
Haiku # 60681, November 2, 2018 10:04 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It is nothing new.
When I look in the mirror
I see my own corpse.
Haiku # 60680, November 2, 2018 10:02 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
One, two, three, four, five.
Count them! Five. Five Syllables!
MWAH HAH HAH HA HAAAH!

*Boom crackle crash*
Haiku # 60679, November 2, 2018 10:00 am ET
by The Count of Sesame Street
Severed limbs still twitch;
Wet blood sprayed on walls,clotting . . .
You see your own corpse
Haiku # 60678, November 2, 2018 9:58 am ET
by Out of Patience Out of Inspiration of Out of Body Experience
We love Haiku more
than life itself. Look within:
Empty eye sockets
Haiku # 60677, November 2, 2018 9:51 am ET
by the light of November Moon SICK of HAIKU
Drink from filthy skull!
Drink fresh blood of bad haiku.
Golden hordes rampant.
Haiku # 60676, November 2, 2018 9:45 am ET
by Chinkis Khan loves DJT of Haiku will violate your crypt, rip out your soul
I alone remain
Surveying Haiku corpse-mound:
stench of foul verses
Haiku # 60675, November 2, 2018 9:39 am ET
by Blue + Red = RED of Red + 1 = TRUTH
Quiet on the front.
Time to reload Haiku guns.
Bad verse: shoot to kill
Haiku # 60674, November 2, 2018 9:34 am ET
by REDREDREDREDREDRED (blue) REDREDRED
Stop writing Haiku?
Pry phone from my cold dead hands.
I'll write from the grave.
Haiku # 60673, November 2, 2018 7:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did I mention TRUMP?
The greatest statesman ever:
The Orange green light!
Haiku # 60672, November 2, 2018 7:29 am ET
by voting RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED
Nationalism:
It's the new globalism
So suck it, Lemon
Haiku # 60671, November 2, 2018 7:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Orange Donald juice
With a big bag of Cheetos:
crunch crunch crunch crunch YES!
Haiku # 60670, November 2, 2018 7:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Will kill for Orange.
Worse yet: will write bad haiku.
Fear the coming storm!
Haiku # 60669, November 2, 2018 7:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Orange! Orange or
Plunge into globalist hell...
More Orange please, sir.
Haiku # 60668, November 2, 2018 6:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your/my only hope:
Cheeto administration.
Bow to Orange Man!
Haiku # 60667, November 2, 2018 6:51 am ET
by ba by ba by ba by of yeah yeah yeah
The syllables count.
That Oriental craftsmanship.
Haiku is SO dull.
Haiku # 60666, November 2, 2018 6:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You're wrong, vhs.
Since when did anything work?
Entropy is Lord.
Haiku # 60665, November 2, 2018 5:34 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Haiku go kaka
Haiku # 60664, November 2, 2018 4:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 60663, November 1, 2018 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 60662, November 1, 2018 11:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 60661, November 1, 2018 11:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 60660, November 1, 2018 11:08 pm ET
by Back talker of Out Back
I
Haiku # 60659, November 1, 2018 11:07 pm ET
by Back talker of Out Back
No toilet paper?
No problem. Just use Bad Haiku
5-7-5 ply
Haiku # 60658, November 1, 2018 10:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My Haiku is hexed
Haiku # 60657, November 1, 2018 10:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Even my ass crack
It
Haiku # 60656, November 1, 2018 10:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i feel doomed, nothing
works, want to delete myself
everything is broken

including haiku
Haiku # 60655, November 1, 2018 8:56 pm ET
by vhs
Bending over now
Pendulous thang hanging low
Pick up my car keys
Haiku # 60654, November 1, 2018 5:11 pm ET
by Varoom of Zoom Zoom
Your verse inhabits
your own rectal cavity
its true place of birth
Haiku # 60653, November 1, 2018 3:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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