Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

Even my ass crack
Haiku # 60656, November 1, 2018 10:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i feel doomed, nothing
works, want to delete myself
everything is broken

including haiku
Haiku # 60655, November 1, 2018 8:56 pm ET
by vhs
Bending over now
Pendulous thang hanging low
Pick up my car keys
Haiku # 60654, November 1, 2018 5:11 pm ET
by Varoom of Zoom Zoom
Your verse inhabits
your own rectal cavity
its true place of birth
Haiku # 60653, November 1, 2018 3:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Actor Richard Gere
Is offering a reward
His gerbil went missing
Haiku # 60652, November 1, 2018 2:21 pm ET
by Kidnapping this famous gerbil you might make me rich of Gerbil hunting
My enormous cock
is too large for your tight ass.
Oh wait, there it goes.

Take that, you gerbil!
I rescued you from my ass
so I can bang yours.
Haiku # 60651, November 1, 2018 5:57 am ET
Move to USA
President is a Cheeto
The place has gone nuts
Haiku # 60650, November 1, 2018 5:09 am ET
by Relocation Advisor of Americhaos
Guess who's on eBay?
Selling stale moon cake doorstops
For the holidays
Haiku # 60649, November 1, 2018 5:07 am ET
by Sleuth
Considering move.
The slums of Mogadishu?
Perhaps Australia?
Haiku # 60648, November 1, 2018 2:29 am ET
Chicken Avenger.
Superhero, pecks out eyes
of chicken fuckers.
Haiku # 60647, November 1, 2018 2:26 am ET
A fugitive, no.
Where I am, there are no laws.
I guess it's more fun.

As for VHS,
I'm sure that he's Cuntfart Cunt.
If not, don't tell me.
Haiku # 60646, November 1, 2018 2:22 am ET
VHS' situation
Darth: A fugitive
Haiku # 60645, October 31, 2018 11:22 pm ET
by Hmmm
Sometimes I wonder
Who you two gents really are
Got fuzzy viewer
Haiku # 60644, October 31, 2018 11:20 pm ET
by Me
I thought it was wax lips and malted milk balls in that bucket
Haiku # 60643, October 31, 2018 8:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Eagle Scout now, sir
I won the Scavenger Hunt
Aced Chicken fucking
Haiku # 60642, October 31, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by Thanks to your YouTube tutorial of Scouts Honor. And on her
Step into my van,
gullible helpful boy scout.
You will make great soup.
Haiku # 60641, October 31, 2018 8:06 pm ET
The parents were pissed.
My candy bowl had a hole.
Through it I poked, well...

You know.
Haiku # 60640, October 31, 2018 8:02 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I did not drop those shat in undies. I put them there purposely.
Mr. Figoucker
You dropped these white underwear
With the big brown stain
Haiku # 60639, October 31, 2018 6:12 pm ET
by Boy Scout of Crosswalk
Foreskin and foreskin
And foreskin and foreskin and
Foreskin is Twentyskin
Haiku # 60638, October 31, 2018 6:08 pm ET
by Please check my work, Prof. Figpucker of One room schoolhouse
John Boy Walton
Haiku # 60637, October 31, 2018 6:05 pm ET
by Press Agent of Pimple on Mr. Thomas
Yo. Hear Ye Hear Ye
Please disregard my birthmark
Named Richard Thomas
Haiku # 60636, October 31, 2018 6:03 pm ET
by John Boy Walton
I cannot decide
how many children I'll eat
this fine Halloween.

Teeee Heeee heeee bwah ha
hooo hee hoo mwahhhhhh ha ha ho
heee *snort* *cackle* *fart*.
Haiku # 60635, October 31, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cunt's twin sister.
Glitch in the Matrix
Haiku # 60634, October 31, 2018 1:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
John Boy Walton
Haiku # 60633, October 31, 2018 1:55 pm ET
by Show some respect
Passing out Werther
Haiku # 60632, October 31, 2018 12:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Passing out Werther
Haiku # 60631, October 31, 2018 12:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tandem horse costume
Ex husband was the back end
So appropriate
Haiku # 60630, October 31, 2018 11:52 am ET
by Oat muncher
I remember when
we'd worry about candy
laced with LSD.

Our fears have shifted
to towel-heads bombing our kids
while trick-or-treating.

I really wanted
some LSD laced candy.
Damn those terrorists.
Haiku # 60629, October 31, 2018 11:50 am ET
by Cuntfart Queefart Cuisinart
No Tootsie Rolls, please
I can get those from my cat
Haiku # 60628, October 31, 2018 11:48 am ET
by Starkitten of Litter Pan
Horny Unicorn
Gothic Vampire, Sexy Nurse
Haiku # 60627, October 31, 2018 9:58 am ET
by when can I buy beer?
Why give you candy?
Get off my damn property.
Whoops. Sorry, Satan
Haiku # 60626, October 31, 2018 9:49 am ET
by High Church Satanist
Guy Fawkes burn Catholics
Anonymous masquerade
All Saints Halloween
Haiku # 60625, October 31, 2018 9:47 am ET
by Low Church Protestant

Here's a video.
How to make love to chickens.
Made by yours truly.
Haiku # 60624, October 31, 2018 5:29 am ET
We smoked grasshoppers
Then, an ill advised night hike
Wiped with leaves.Chafing.

Lit Bottle Rockets
Chupacapra Mosquito
C@nt beat off in peace
Haiku # 60623, October 31, 2018 12:11 am ET
by Dif of Not in the woods much
Dressing as the Fonz
Made my own "leather" jacket
Used black garbage bags

I won't be saying Aaaaaaaaaaaaay!
It's kind of a mouthful, but:
Cuntfart Cuntfart cunt
Haiku # 60622, October 30, 2018 8:33 pm ET
by Leather Tuskadildo of Fleetwood Mac loving Horny wooly Mammoth UCLA coed fat Majorette
Johnie drew a monster.
The monster chased him.
Just in time
Johnie erased him.
Haiku # 60621, October 30, 2018 8:12 pm ET
by spooky!
vhs stands for
very hairy and stinky
like a biker dude.

Or that Thai hooker.
Or certain overripe fruit.
Or my genitals.
Haiku # 60620, October 30, 2018 8:10 pm ET
by He knows I'm fuckin' around. of Happy halloween vhs!
I love you vhs
Nice to see you smile
U r cranky sometimes
Haiku # 60619, October 30, 2018 6:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Plus he is dressing like
John Boy Walton
Haiku # 60618, October 30, 2018 6:58 pm ET
by I will be in vicinity of Nude Moonwalking
Avoid vhs house on Halloween.
He is handing out Bad Haiku
And stale moon cakes
Haiku # 60617, October 30, 2018 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku # 60616, October 30, 2018 6:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku # 60615, October 30, 2018 6:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku # 60614, October 30, 2018 6:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lol it said don
Haiku # 60613, October 30, 2018 6:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yo,Trick or Treaters
Haiku # 60612, October 30, 2018 6:51 pm ET
by He of Handing out stale moon cakes,too
A funny story
Just was at my dishwasher
It's our "telephone"
Haiku # 60611, October 30, 2018 6:33 pm ET
by Telepathic of Here There Everywhere
So how do you like
House of 1000 Corpses?
Rob Zombie's finest.
Haiku # 60610, October 30, 2018 6:20 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of May you be devoured by rabbid children this Halloween.
iksra yt fruczuu
Spetzda galuumpii scecza
Cegno "bitch slappings"
Haiku # 60609, October 30, 2018 6:19 pm ET
by Sliig of Bitch orcharding
Autumn reflections
Shitfaced drunk on hard cider
Spread eagled on lawn
Haiku # 60608, October 30, 2018 2:53 pm ET
by In memory of Collins of Whiskey Thermos
Do the Figpucker
Shake your longpig curly tail
Twerk Twerk Twerk Twerk Twerk
Haiku # 60607, October 30, 2018 2:45 pm ET
by Dick Clark's Ghoul of Hades
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