BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
345 Days
and
66264 Haikus
later...
The parents were pissed.
My candy bowl had a hole.
Through it I poked, well...

You know.
Haiku #60640, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I did not drop those shat in undies. I put them there purposely.
October 31, 2018 8:02 pm ET

Mr. Figoucker
You dropped these white underwear
With the big brown stain
Haiku #60639, by Boy Scout of Crosswalk
October 31, 2018 6:12 pm ET

Foreskin and foreskin
And foreskin and foreskin and
Foreskin is Twentyskin
Haiku #60638, by Please check my work, Prof. Figpucker of One room schoolhouse
October 31, 2018 6:08 pm ET

John Boy Walton
Haiku #60637, by Press Agent of Pimple on Mr. Thomas
October 31, 2018 6:05 pm ET

Yo. Hear Ye Hear Ye
Please disregard my birthmark
Named Richard Thomas
Haiku #60636, by John Boy Walton
October 31, 2018 6:03 pm ET

I cannot decide
how many children I'll eat
this fine Halloween.

Teeee Heeee heeee bwah ha
hooo hee hoo mwahhhhhh ha ha ho
heee *snort* *cackle* *fart*.
Haiku #60635, by Cuntfart Cunt's twin sister.
October 31, 2018 5:51 pm ET

Glitch in the Matrix
Haiku #60634, by Anonymous Poet
October 31, 2018 1:56 pm ET

John Boy Walton
Haiku #60633, by Show some respect
October 31, 2018 1:55 pm ET

Passing out Werther
Haiku #60632, by Anonymous Poet
October 31, 2018 12:03 pm ET

Passing out Werther
Haiku #60631, by Anonymous Poet
October 31, 2018 12:02 pm ET

Tandem horse costume
Ex husband was the back end
So appropriate
Haiku #60630, by Oat muncher
October 31, 2018 11:52 am ET

I remember when
we'd worry about candy
laced with LSD.

Our fears have shifted
to towel-heads bombing our kids
while trick-or-treating.

I really wanted
some LSD laced candy.
Damn those terrorists.
Haiku #60629, by Cuntfart Queefart Cuisinart
October 31, 2018 11:50 am ET

No Tootsie Rolls, please
I can get those from my cat
24/7
Haiku #60628, by Starkitten of Litter Pan
October 31, 2018 11:48 am ET

Horny Unicorn
Gothic Vampire, Sexy Nurse
BE MY VALENTINE!
Haiku #60627, by when can I buy beer?
October 31, 2018 9:58 am ET

Why give you candy?
Get off my damn property.
Whoops. Sorry, Satan
Haiku #60626, by High Church Satanist
October 31, 2018 9:49 am ET

Guy Fawkes burn Catholics
Anonymous masquerade
All Saints Halloween
Haiku #60625, by Low Church Protestant
October 31, 2018 9:47 am ET

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7_GNgfzRvo

Here's a video.
How to make love to chickens.
Made by yours truly.
Haiku #60624, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 31, 2018 5:29 am ET

We smoked grasshoppers
Then, an ill advised night hike
Wiped with leaves.Chafing.

Lit Bottle Rockets
Chupacapra Mosquito
C@nt beat off in peace
Haiku #60623, by Dif of Not in the woods much
October 31, 2018 12:11 am ET

Dressing as the Fonz
Made my own "leather" jacket
Used black garbage bags

I won't be saying Aaaaaaaaaaaaay!
It's kind of a mouthful, but:
Cuntfart Cuntfart cunt
Haiku #60622, by Leather Tuskadildo of Fleetwood Mac loving Horny wooly Mammoth UCLA coed fat Majorette
October 30, 2018 8:33 pm ET

Johnie drew a monster.
The monster chased him.
Just in time
Johnie erased him.
Haiku #60621, by spooky!
October 30, 2018 8:12 pm ET

vhs stands for
very hairy and stinky
like a biker dude.

Or that Thai hooker.
Or certain overripe fruit.
Or my genitals.
Haiku #60620, by He knows I'm fuckin' around. of Happy halloween vhs!
October 30, 2018 8:10 pm ET

I love you vhs
Nice to see you smile
U r cranky sometimes
Haiku #60619, by Anonymous Poet
October 30, 2018 6:59 pm ET

Plus he is dressing like
John Boy Walton
Haiku #60618, by I will be in vicinity of Nude Moonwalking
October 30, 2018 6:58 pm ET

Avoid vhs house on Halloween.
He is handing out Bad Haiku
And stale moon cakes
Haiku #60617, by Anonymous Poet
October 30, 2018 6:55 pm ET

Laughingsohardshitpants
Haiku #60616, by Anonymous Poet
October 30, 2018 6:54 pm ET

Don
Haiku #60615, by Anonymous Poet
October 30, 2018 6:53 pm ET

Don
Haiku #60614, by Anonymous Poet
October 30, 2018 6:53 pm ET

Lol it said don
Haiku #60613, by Anonymous Poet
October 30, 2018 6:52 pm ET

Yo,Trick or Treaters
Don
Haiku #60612, by He of Handing out stale moon cakes,too
October 30, 2018 6:51 pm ET

A funny story
Just was at my dishwasher
It's our "telephone"
Haiku #60611, by Telepathic of Here There Everywhere
October 30, 2018 6:33 pm ET

So how do you like
House of 1000 Corpses?
Rob Zombie's finest.
Haiku #60610, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of May you be devoured by rabbid children this Halloween.
October 30, 2018 6:20 pm ET

iksra yt fruczuu
Spetzda galuumpii scecza
Cegno "bitch slappings"
Haiku #60609, by Sliig of Bitch orcharding
October 30, 2018 6:19 pm ET

Autumn reflections
Shitfaced drunk on hard cider
Spread eagled on lawn
Haiku #60608, by In memory of Collins of Whiskey Thermos
October 30, 2018 2:53 pm ET

Do the Figpucker
Shake your longpig curly tail
Twerk Twerk Twerk Twerk Twerk
Haiku #60607, by Dick Clark's Ghoul of Hades
October 30, 2018 2:45 pm ET

History will look back on us and see those who purposely spread HIV as heroes who died to keep the population in check.

Saddam sodomizes Sodomites dynamites and weapons of ass destruction.
Haiku #60606, by
October 30, 2018 12:22 pm ET

We're all the same, dude.
So come over to my house
and fuck my fat wife.
Haiku #60605, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 30, 2018 12:13 pm ET

Sucking on Werthers
Outside the nursing ho-ome...
See my wrinkled bone
Haiku #60604, by John Mellencamp of Pants are damp
October 30, 2018 12:12 pm ET

Proof we are not same person
Haiku #60603, by Starkitten
October 30, 2018 12:09 pm ET

Fartherer...floored it!
Speed Trap. Sirens. car chase..Cops
Here's your shit tickets
Haiku #60602, by C. U. N. Court. Skiitten of Cuntfart Cuntfart and cunt attorneys at law
October 30, 2018 12:05 pm ET

Sodom and Gomorrah.
Sodomy and gonorrhea.
Saddam's gone, or is he?
Haiku #60601, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 30, 2018 12:04 pm ET

Farther = farting father = gaseous priest = methane monk = Friar Flatus = flatulent patriarch.
Fartherer = one who goes the extra mile to let his kids know that he is the master of farts in THIS house!
Haiku #60600, by df of course -- who else?!
October 30, 2018 9:44 am ET

Celestiallity.
Having sex with stellar objects.
One extra syllable.

In all three lines.
So this has one less than.
It balances.

It's fuck a black hole.
And I bet that you would too.
Don't be a racist.
Haiku #60599, by Farther = Farting Father
October 30, 2018 9:38 am ET

It's celestially
Celestially celestial.
Not bestial. Just best...
Haiku #60598, by lon Ba by lon Ba by lon Ba of Sodom and Gomorrah LLC
October 30, 2018 7:08 am ET

Quivering asshole
In moonlight, Tranquility
Ex-Lax kicks in
Haiku #60597, by Mark Skidds of Skidmore
October 30, 2018 4:45 am ET

Quivering asshole
In moonlight, Tranquility
Ex-Lax kicks in
Haiku #60596, by Mark Skidds of Skidmore
October 30, 2018 4:45 am ET

That Gerard Streator
Makes me think of Clint Eastwood
In Dirty Chairy
Haiku #60595, by Director of Director's Chair
October 30, 2018 12:58 am ET

We're like the show friends
But we don't live together,
Don't have a monkey.
Haiku #60594, by Someone like Someone on Friends of There for you
October 30, 2018 12:55 am ET

The Original
Burger King Chicken sandwich
I have mine with cheese
Haiku #60593, by Mack of Behind the wheel
October 30, 2018 12:44 am ET

See Gerard Streator
Caught having sex with a couch
Found fifty bucks change
Haiku #60592, by Starkitten of Sofa King
October 29, 2018 11:32 pm ET

Popcorn! Peanuts!
Longpig and Shortpig! Poop Chutes!
Underwear to sniff!
Haiku #60591, by Sniffy
October 29, 2018 11:24 pm ET