BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
311 Days
and
65995 Haikus
later...
I'm so excited
about vote-rigging and fraud
Bring it on, twinkies
Haiku #60688, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 5:06 pm ET

Sorry. HIS fat wife...
Or should I say "Rubenesque".
No penis. Got it.
Haiku #60687, by Figpucker Intervention Squad
November 2, 2018 4:56 pm ET

I can't fuck your wife
I'm a woman. Have no penis.
She'd know the difference
Haiku #60686, by Starkitten
November 2, 2018 3:20 pm ET

Your fat horny wife
Waits in vain for your Haiku.
(Your well-placed Haiku . . .)
Haiku #60685, by Haiku Police of Syllabic Task-Force Unit 575
November 2, 2018 11:39 am ET

My fat horny wife is waiting for me to come to be and I'm not in the mood to hump a sack of lard right now so I'm staying up pretending to work but instead really just writing shit on here so I don't have to pound the pig tonight and smell that fat woman sweat and I wish she would get really drunk so I'd just pay someone else to fuck her and she'd think it was me. Starkitten, you want some extra cash? I'd ask Cuntfart Cunt, but Jesus, diseases, you know.
Haiku #60684, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:28 am ET

I'd be shit-faced drunk,
Lying in my own vomit.
But no, calculus.
Haiku #60683, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:22 am ET

And sadly, of course,
if you read my haiku, then
you can smell my corpse.
Haiku #60682, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:06 am ET

What's amazing is
that when I read your haiku,
I can see your corpse.
Haiku #60681, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:04 am ET

It is nothing new.
When I look in the mirror
I see my own corpse.
Haiku #60680, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 10:02 am ET

One, two, three, four, five.
Count them! Five. Five Syllables!
MWAH HAH HAH HA HAAAH!

*Boom crackle crash*
Haiku #60679, by The Count of Sesame Street
November 2, 2018 10:00 am ET

Severed limbs still twitch;
Wet blood sprayed on walls,clotting . . .
You see your own corpse
Haiku #60678, by Out of Patience Out of Inspiration of Out of Body Experience
November 2, 2018 9:58 am ET

We love Haiku more
than life itself. Look within:
Empty eye sockets
Haiku #60677, by the light of November Moon SICK of HAIKU
November 2, 2018 9:51 am ET

Drink from filthy skull!
Drink fresh blood of bad haiku.
Golden hordes rampant.
Haiku #60676, by Chinkis Khan loves DJT of Haiku will violate your crypt, rip out your soul
November 2, 2018 9:45 am ET

I alone remain
Surveying Haiku corpse-mound:
stench of foul verses
Haiku #60675, by Blue + Red = RED of Red + 1 = TRUTH
November 2, 2018 9:39 am ET

Quiet on the front.
Time to reload Haiku guns.
Bad verse: shoot to kill
Haiku #60674, by REDREDREDREDREDRED (blue) REDREDRED
November 2, 2018 9:34 am ET

Stop writing Haiku?
Pry phone from my cold dead hands.
I'll write from the grave.
Haiku #60673, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 7:34 am ET

Did I mention TRUMP?
The greatest statesman ever:
The Orange green light!
Haiku #60672, by voting RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED
November 2, 2018 7:29 am ET

Nationalism:
It's the new globalism
So suck it, Lemon
Haiku #60671, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 7:24 am ET

Orange Donald juice
With a big bag of Cheetos:
crunch crunch crunch crunch YES!
Haiku #60670, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 7:06 am ET

Will kill for Orange.
Worse yet: will write bad haiku.
Fear the coming storm!
Haiku #60669, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 7:01 am ET

Orange! Orange or
Plunge into globalist hell...
More Orange please, sir.
Haiku #60668, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 6:59 am ET

Your/my only hope:
Cheeto administration.
Bow to Orange Man!
Haiku #60667, by ba by ba by ba by of yeah yeah yeah
November 2, 2018 6:51 am ET

The syllables count.
That Oriental craftsmanship.
Haiku is SO dull.
Haiku #60666, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 6:48 am ET

You're wrong, vhs.
Since when did anything work?
Entropy is Lord.
Haiku #60665, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 2, 2018 5:34 am ET

Haiku go kaka
Haiku #60664, by Anonymous Poet
November 2, 2018 4:54 am ET

I
Haiku #60663, by Anonymous Poet
November 1, 2018 11:17 pm ET

I
Haiku #60662, by Anonymous Poet
November 1, 2018 11:16 pm ET

I
Haiku #60661, by Anonymous Poet
November 1, 2018 11:09 pm ET

I
Haiku #60660, by Back talker of Out Back
November 1, 2018 11:08 pm ET

I
Haiku #60659, by Back talker of Out Back
November 1, 2018 11:07 pm ET

No toilet paper?
No problem. Just use Bad Haiku
5-7-5 ply
Haiku #60658, by Anonymous Poet
November 1, 2018 10:32 pm ET

My Haiku is hexed
Haiku #60657, by Anonymous Poet
November 1, 2018 10:30 pm ET

Even my ass crack
It
Haiku #60656, by Anonymous Poet
November 1, 2018 10:29 pm ET

i feel doomed, nothing
works, want to delete myself
everything is broken

including haiku
Haiku #60655, by vhs
November 1, 2018 8:56 pm ET

Bending over now
Pendulous thang hanging low
Pick up my car keys
Haiku #60654, by Varoom of Zoom Zoom
November 1, 2018 5:11 pm ET

Your verse inhabits
your own rectal cavity
its true place of birth
Haiku #60653, by Anonymous Poet
November 1, 2018 3:41 pm ET

Actor Richard Gere
Is offering a reward
His gerbil went missing
Haiku #60652, by Kidnapping this famous gerbil you might make me rich of Gerbil hunting
November 1, 2018 2:21 pm ET

My enormous cock
is too large for your tight ass.
Oh wait, there it goes.

Take that, you gerbil!
I rescued you from my ass
so I can bang yours.
Haiku #60651, by DARTH FERBILGUCKER
November 1, 2018 5:57 am ET

Move to USA
President is a Cheeto
The place has gone nuts
Haiku #60650, by Relocation Advisor of Americhaos
November 1, 2018 5:09 am ET

Guess who's on eBay?
Selling stale moon cake doorstops
For the holidays
Haiku #60649, by Sleuth
November 1, 2018 5:07 am ET

Considering move.
The slums of Mogadishu?
Perhaps Australia?
Haiku #60648, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 1, 2018 2:29 am ET

Chicken Avenger.
Superhero, pecks out eyes
of chicken fuckers.
Haiku #60647, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 1, 2018 2:26 am ET

A fugitive, no.
Where I am, there are no laws.
I guess it's more fun.

As for VHS,
I'm sure that he's Cuntfart Cunt.
If not, don't tell me.
Haiku #60646, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 1, 2018 2:22 am ET

Incarcerated
VHS' situation
Darth: A fugitive
Haiku #60645, by Hmmm
October 31, 2018 11:22 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
Who you two gents really are
Got fuzzy viewer
Haiku #60644, by Me
October 31, 2018 11:20 pm ET

I thought it was wax lips and malted milk balls in that bucket
Haiku #60643, by Anonymous Poet
October 31, 2018 8:24 pm ET

Eagle Scout now, sir
I won the Scavenger Hunt
Aced Chicken fucking
Haiku #60642, by Thanks to your YouTube tutorial of Scouts Honor. And on her
October 31, 2018 8:23 pm ET

Step into my van,
gullible helpful boy scout.
You will make great soup.
Haiku #60641, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 31, 2018 8:06 pm ET

The parents were pissed.
My candy bowl had a hole.
Through it I poked, well...

You know.
Haiku #60640, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I did not drop those shat in undies. I put them there purposely.
October 31, 2018 8:02 pm ET

Mr. Figoucker
You dropped these white underwear
With the big brown stain
Haiku #60639, by Boy Scout of Crosswalk
October 31, 2018 6:12 pm ET