Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 182 Days and 70640 Haikus later...

Starkitten, you'd just
need a small strap on green bean.
She would never know.
Haiku # 60689, November 2, 2018 7:44 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'm so excited
about vote-rigging and fraud
Bring it on, twinkies
Haiku # 60688, November 2, 2018 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sorry. HIS fat wife...
Or should I say "Rubenesque".
No penis. Got it.
Haiku # 60687, November 2, 2018 4:56 pm ET
by Figpucker Intervention Squad
I can't fuck your wife
I'm a woman. Have no penis.
She'd know the difference
Haiku # 60686, November 2, 2018 3:20 pm ET
by Starkitten
Your fat horny wife
Waits in vain for your Haiku.
(Your well-placed Haiku . . .)
Haiku # 60685, November 2, 2018 11:39 am ET
by Haiku Police of Syllabic Task-Force Unit 575
My fat horny wife is waiting for me to come to be and I'm not in the mood to hump a sack of lard right now so I'm staying up pretending to work but instead really just writing shit on here so I don't have to pound the pig tonight and smell that fat woman sweat and I wish she would get really drunk so I'd just pay someone else to fuck her and she'd think it was me. Starkitten, you want some extra cash? I'd ask Cuntfart Cunt, but Jesus, diseases, you know.
Haiku # 60684, November 2, 2018 10:28 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'd be shit-faced drunk,
Lying in my own vomit.
But no, calculus.
Haiku # 60683, November 2, 2018 10:22 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
And sadly, of course,
if you read my haiku, then
you can smell my corpse.
Haiku # 60682, November 2, 2018 10:06 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
What's amazing is
that when I read your haiku,
I can see your corpse.
Haiku # 60681, November 2, 2018 10:04 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It is nothing new.
When I look in the mirror
I see my own corpse.
Haiku # 60680, November 2, 2018 10:02 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
One, two, three, four, five.
Count them! Five. Five Syllables!
MWAH HAH HAH HA HAAAH!

*Boom crackle crash*
Haiku # 60679, November 2, 2018 10:00 am ET
by The Count of Sesame Street
Severed limbs still twitch;
Wet blood sprayed on walls,clotting . . .
You see your own corpse
Haiku # 60678, November 2, 2018 9:58 am ET
by Out of Patience Out of Inspiration of Out of Body Experience
We love Haiku more
than life itself. Look within:
Empty eye sockets
Haiku # 60677, November 2, 2018 9:51 am ET
by the light of November Moon SICK of HAIKU
Drink from filthy skull!
Drink fresh blood of bad haiku.
Golden hordes rampant.
Haiku # 60676, November 2, 2018 9:45 am ET
by Chinkis Khan loves DJT of Haiku will violate your crypt, rip out your soul
I alone remain
Surveying Haiku corpse-mound:
stench of foul verses
Haiku # 60675, November 2, 2018 9:39 am ET
by Blue + Red = RED of Red + 1 = TRUTH
Quiet on the front.
Time to reload Haiku guns.
Bad verse: shoot to kill
Haiku # 60674, November 2, 2018 9:34 am ET
by REDREDREDREDREDRED (blue) REDREDRED
Stop writing Haiku?
Pry phone from my cold dead hands.
I'll write from the grave.
Haiku # 60673, November 2, 2018 7:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did I mention TRUMP?
The greatest statesman ever:
The Orange green light!
Haiku # 60672, November 2, 2018 7:29 am ET
by voting RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED
Nationalism:
It's the new globalism
So suck it, Lemon
Haiku # 60671, November 2, 2018 7:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Orange Donald juice
With a big bag of Cheetos:
crunch crunch crunch crunch YES!
Haiku # 60670, November 2, 2018 7:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Will kill for Orange.
Worse yet: will write bad haiku.
Fear the coming storm!
Haiku # 60669, November 2, 2018 7:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Orange! Orange or
Plunge into globalist hell...
More Orange please, sir.
Haiku # 60668, November 2, 2018 6:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your/my only hope:
Cheeto administration.
Bow to Orange Man!
Haiku # 60667, November 2, 2018 6:51 am ET
by ba by ba by ba by of yeah yeah yeah
The syllables count.
That Oriental craftsmanship.
Haiku is SO dull.
Haiku # 60666, November 2, 2018 6:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You're wrong, vhs.
Since when did anything work?
Entropy is Lord.
Haiku # 60665, November 2, 2018 5:34 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Haiku go kaka
Haiku # 60664, November 2, 2018 4:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 60663, November 1, 2018 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 60662, November 1, 2018 11:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 60661, November 1, 2018 11:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 60660, November 1, 2018 11:08 pm ET
by Back talker of Out Back
I
Haiku # 60659, November 1, 2018 11:07 pm ET
by Back talker of Out Back
No toilet paper?
No problem. Just use Bad Haiku
5-7-5 ply
Haiku # 60658, November 1, 2018 10:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My Haiku is hexed
Haiku # 60657, November 1, 2018 10:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Even my ass crack
It
Haiku # 60656, November 1, 2018 10:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i feel doomed, nothing
works, want to delete myself
everything is broken

including haiku
Haiku # 60655, November 1, 2018 8:56 pm ET
by vhs
Bending over now
Pendulous thang hanging low
Pick up my car keys
Haiku # 60654, November 1, 2018 5:11 pm ET
by Varoom of Zoom Zoom
Your verse inhabits
your own rectal cavity
its true place of birth
Haiku # 60653, November 1, 2018 3:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Actor Richard Gere
Is offering a reward
His gerbil went missing
Haiku # 60652, November 1, 2018 2:21 pm ET
by Kidnapping this famous gerbil you might make me rich of Gerbil hunting
My enormous cock
is too large for your tight ass.
Oh wait, there it goes.

Take that, you gerbil!
I rescued you from my ass
so I can bang yours.
Haiku # 60651, November 1, 2018 5:57 am ET
by DARTH FERBILGUCKER
Move to USA
President is a Cheeto
The place has gone nuts
Haiku # 60650, November 1, 2018 5:09 am ET
by Relocation Advisor of Americhaos
Guess who's on eBay?
Selling stale moon cake doorstops
For the holidays
Haiku # 60649, November 1, 2018 5:07 am ET
by Sleuth
Considering move.
The slums of Mogadishu?
Perhaps Australia?
Haiku # 60648, November 1, 2018 2:29 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Chicken Avenger.
Superhero, pecks out eyes
of chicken fuckers.
Haiku # 60647, November 1, 2018 2:26 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A fugitive, no.
Where I am, there are no laws.
I guess it's more fun.

As for VHS,
I'm sure that he's Cuntfart Cunt.
If not, don't tell me.
Haiku # 60646, November 1, 2018 2:22 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Incarcerated
VHS' situation
Darth: A fugitive
Haiku # 60645, October 31, 2018 11:22 pm ET
by Hmmm
Sometimes I wonder
Who you two gents really are
Got fuzzy viewer
Haiku # 60644, October 31, 2018 11:20 pm ET
by Me
I thought it was wax lips and malted milk balls in that bucket
Haiku # 60643, October 31, 2018 8:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Eagle Scout now, sir
I won the Scavenger Hunt
Aced Chicken fucking
Haiku # 60642, October 31, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by Thanks to your YouTube tutorial of Scouts Honor. And on her
Step into my van,
gullible helpful boy scout.
You will make great soup.
Haiku # 60641, October 31, 2018 8:06 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The parents were pissed.
My candy bowl had a hole.
Through it I poked, well...

You know.
Haiku # 60640, October 31, 2018 8:02 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I did not drop those shat in undies. I put them there purposely.
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