Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 250 Days and 77185 Haiku later...

The longer I live
The more I look like Santa
I want to believe
Haiku # 60719, November 3, 2018 7:27 pm ET
by Big belly, whiskers, white hair, jolly eyes of And I have a vagina
Forget about a kiss
Mistletoe Fellatio
A gift from our dog
Haiku # 60718, November 3, 2018 7:24 pm ET
by He bites
Bottling my farts
To give as holiday gifts
Some are Grinch green, too
Haiku # 60717, November 3, 2018 7:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Now shout it from the rooftops!
You can be a star
Haiku # 60716, November 3, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I forgot to flush.
That's, my friend, my only crime.
Death sentence imposed.

Ah, fuck it, not in the mood to count.
5757575757557575757575. piss on it.

Take the o from count.
Then release your flatulence.
Then repeat step one.

You've got cunthfart cunt.

Haiku # 60715, November 3, 2018 6:19 pm ET
Breaking down the wind
One fart at a time. Mindful.
Yeah, God would like that
Haiku # 60714, November 3, 2018 6:11 pm ET
by Wind Breaker of Wind
Sir Darth Figpucker
A fugitive from justice
Conditioner Theft
Haiku # 60713, November 3, 2018 4:42 pm ET
by Slipped out through the bars of the jail of Greased Longpig hard to catch
Mustard on his dick
Ketchup on his balls. What's next?
Mayo on the walls
Haiku # 60712, November 3, 2018 4:39 pm ET
by Condiment for Condoms meant for of Formula 409
An abusuve God
Who needs it. Trash Deadbeat dad
Dude, give it a rest
Haiku # 60711, November 3, 2018 4:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You make the art here.
Get your head out of your ass.
Fear God. Then create.
Haiku # 60710, November 3, 2018 11:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Here there is no art.
I think I've said that before.
No one believes me.
Haiku # 60709, November 3, 2018 8:27 am ET
I do not
Haiku # 60708, November 3, 2018 8:26 am ET
Give that girl some mustard!
Haiku # 60707, November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET
The penis is a hot dog.
Haiku # 60706, November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET
The Grinch has dog penis.
Haiku # 60705, November 3, 2018 8:24 am ET
The dog has grinch feet
Haiku # 60704, November 3, 2018 1:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Even though I
Haiku # 60703, November 3, 2018 1:25 am ET
by Diarrhea dancer
With each somersault
I release diarrhea
Look, I made a trail
Haiku # 60702, November 3, 2018 1:22 am ET
by Acrobutt
Doc. Darth Figpucker
His Haiku can cure the sick
Stop Diarrhea
Haiku # 60701, November 3, 2018 1:21 am ET
by Sick person
Do midgets have big dicks?
Or do they just look bigger
On midget body
Haiku # 60700, November 3, 2018 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
YOU give her cunnilingus.
Haiku # 60699, November 3, 2018 1:13 am ET
It only lets me write one line of haiku
Haiku # 60698, November 3, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Because I have watery of Diarrhea
Give your wife cunnilingus
Haiku # 60697, November 3, 2018 12:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have diarrhea
Haiku # 60696, November 3, 2018 12:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are midgets
Haiku # 60695, November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are midgets
Haiku # 60694, November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wanted to goose you
Make your neck hairs stand on end
Maybe something else
Haiku # 60693, November 3, 2018 12:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just want a smidgen
I guess I need new sandals
You hear me creepin
Haiku # 60692, November 3, 2018 12:38 am ET
by Jeez us of Eye of the Tiger
I can smell Jesus
Like a hot musky tiger
Prowling for my soul
Haiku # 60691, November 3, 2018 12:26 am ET
by Religious Inexperience
I rigged all the votes.
President Figpucker has
a nice ring to it.
Haiku # 60690, November 2, 2018 8:00 pm ET
Starkitten, you'd just
need a small strap on green bean.
She would never know.
Haiku # 60689, November 2, 2018 7:44 pm ET
I'm so excited
about vote-rigging and fraud
Bring it on, twinkies
Haiku # 60688, November 2, 2018 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sorry. HIS fat wife...
Or should I say "Rubenesque".
No penis. Got it.
Haiku # 60687, November 2, 2018 4:56 pm ET
by Figpucker Intervention Squad
I can't fuck your wife
I'm a woman. Have no penis.
She'd know the difference
Haiku # 60686, November 2, 2018 3:20 pm ET
by Starkitten
Your fat horny wife
Waits in vain for your Haiku.
(Your well-placed Haiku . . .)
Haiku # 60685, November 2, 2018 11:39 am ET
by Haiku Police of Syllabic Task-Force Unit 575
My fat horny wife is waiting for me to come to be and I'm not in the mood to hump a sack of lard right now so I'm staying up pretending to work but instead really just writing shit on here so I don't have to pound the pig tonight and smell that fat woman sweat and I wish she would get really drunk so I'd just pay someone else to fuck her and she'd think it was me. Starkitten, you want some extra cash? I'd ask Cuntfart Cunt, but Jesus, diseases, you know.
Haiku # 60684, November 2, 2018 10:28 am ET
I'd be shit-faced drunk,
Lying in my own vomit.
But no, calculus.
Haiku # 60683, November 2, 2018 10:22 am ET
And sadly, of course,
if you read my haiku, then
you can smell my corpse.
Haiku # 60682, November 2, 2018 10:06 am ET
What's amazing is
that when I read your haiku,
I can see your corpse.
Haiku # 60681, November 2, 2018 10:04 am ET
It is nothing new.
When I look in the mirror
I see my own corpse.
Haiku # 60680, November 2, 2018 10:02 am ET
One, two, three, four, five.
Count them! Five. Five Syllables!

*Boom crackle crash*
Haiku # 60679, November 2, 2018 10:00 am ET
by The Count of Sesame Street
Severed limbs still twitch;
Wet blood sprayed on walls,clotting . . .
You see your own corpse
Haiku # 60678, November 2, 2018 9:58 am ET
by Out of Patience Out of Inspiration of Out of Body Experience
We love Haiku more
than life itself. Look within:
Empty eye sockets
Haiku # 60677, November 2, 2018 9:51 am ET
by the light of November Moon SICK of HAIKU
Drink from filthy skull!
Drink fresh blood of bad haiku.
Golden hordes rampant.
Haiku # 60676, November 2, 2018 9:45 am ET
by Chinkis Khan loves DJT of Haiku will violate your crypt, rip out your soul
I alone remain
Surveying Haiku corpse-mound:
stench of foul verses
Haiku # 60675, November 2, 2018 9:39 am ET
by Blue + Red = RED of Red + 1 = TRUTH
Quiet on the front.
Time to reload Haiku guns.
Bad verse: shoot to kill
Haiku # 60674, November 2, 2018 9:34 am ET
Stop writing Haiku?
Pry phone from my cold dead hands.
I'll write from the grave.
Haiku # 60673, November 2, 2018 7:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did I mention TRUMP?
The greatest statesman ever:
The Orange green light!
Haiku # 60672, November 2, 2018 7:29 am ET
It's the new globalism
So suck it, Lemon
Haiku # 60671, November 2, 2018 7:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Orange Donald juice
With a big bag of Cheetos:
crunch crunch crunch crunch YES!
Haiku # 60670, November 2, 2018 7:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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