Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 338 Days and 72689 Haikus later...

Don't you dare come here
Talking nature imagery.
You will regret it.
Haiku # 68867, November 21, 2020 10:26 pm ET
by Haiku Ultimatum of Antinatural
Watch, as a turkey
will try to pardon itself
this Thanksgiving Day
Haiku # 68866, November 21, 2020 10:02 am ET
by Self Basting of Reduced to Clear
The warmth of the sun
The coolness of a light breeze,
Will continue on.
Haiku # 68865, November 21, 2020 9:16 am ET
by mundane
I'm up in your face
You thought I was gone for good
John Boy Walton's mole!
Haiku # 68864, November 21, 2020 5:14 am ET
by J to the B to the W to the M of All up in your face
My best winning streak
Xenomorphs for five hundred
Dink in jeopardy!
Haiku # 68863, November 21, 2020 4:20 am ET
by Xenomorphs of Hanging from the really smart phallus of Alex Trebek
You ever wonder what the biological purpose of the tongue with teeth could have for the alien xenomorph? Does that weird little mouth actually eat or does it just grab onto food and or help to kill it? Does it have its own seperate digestive track? Or even its own seperate brain? I kind of doubt that last one, but you never know. I'd kind of like a tongue like that. I mean, not to eat things, but you know, it is kind of phallic and I bet chicks would dig it. Like way more than haiku poetry.
Haiku # 68862, November 21, 2020 3:31 am ET
by Right?!
poke me in the eye
do not stop to wonder why
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 68861, November 21, 2020 3:29 am ET
by Marion Ross of Who's the boss?
No one wants that stuff
I can see straight to your soul
That's what I'm here for
Haiku # 68860, November 21, 2020 12:03 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Anywhere marijuana can be found
What is your birthday?
And social security?
Bank account number?

Mother's maiden name.
Your paternal grandmother.
And your penis length.
Haiku # 68859, November 20, 2020 9:44 pm ET
by Asking for a friend.
Is Darth a Taurus?
Always talking about food
described in detail
Haiku # 68858, November 20, 2020 8:00 pm ET
by Russell Meupsomegrub of VIP Dining
Dig him up again
And look, he's got a boner
Exhuming Dick Clark
Haiku # 68857, November 20, 2020 7:56 pm ET
by 2021 of Wrecking Ball
the race is over
still running for the white house
artificial heir
Haiku # 68856, November 20, 2020 6:31 pm ET
by ash
For party parties.
Cheetos dipped in chocolate.
It's so fon-to-due!

The cheeto that's Trump.
The hot melted chocolate
that's Guilianni.

(However the hell you spell it.)
Haiku # 68855, November 20, 2020 6:04 pm ET
by Darth Chef of Look out Gordon Ramsay!... Maybe not.
With my pork pie hat
Cephalopod ink drip stains
Will my head explode?
Haiku # 68854, November 20, 2020 12:47 pm ET
by Mushhead of Nuthouse
Giulani's black sweat:
Soon there will be hell toupee.
The Rudy can't fail.
Haiku # 68853, November 20, 2020 10:53 am ET
by Roots of the Corruption
You should not be here.
Get your ass to church and pray.
Before it's too late.
Haiku # 68852, November 20, 2020 10:12 am ET
by Lars of Metallica
time is running out
like rudy's hair colouring
but never say dye
Haiku # 68851, November 20, 2020 4:28 am ET
by ash
Cruel TV dinner
Cake, Potatoes, gravy, corn
Not enough longpig
Haiku # 68850, November 20, 2020 2:01 am ET
by Hungry Man of Chesterfield
You should not do that.
At least not here in public.
Go in the bushes.
Haiku # 68849, November 20, 2020 1:52 am ET
by The Evil Dork Lard Whorrendous of The Ancient Sith Empire. May The Dark Side of The Farts be with you.
I am soooo sleepy.
Been up all night sucking dicks.
Better than haiku.

Oh well, dad needs rum.
Here's all my money, daddy.
And one last blow job.

Dried fish, rice, and sleep.
Get up and suck dicks again.
Hey, Darth, one fifty!
Haiku # 68848, November 19, 2020 10:49 pm ET
by Jovelyn, on the streets of the Philippines
Look at that Beaver
The Rise and Fall of Peter Pond
Those aren't eels, they're dinks
Haiku # 68847, November 19, 2020 8:35 pm ET
by Fur Trader's Ghost of Canada
Haiku shall triumph.
She shall sing a dirge for you
Over your remains.
Haiku # 68846, November 19, 2020 8:19 pm ET
by Massacre of Haiku
I rip out your heart
And fling the beating organ
On haiku's altar.
Haiku # 68845, November 19, 2020 8:16 pm ET
by Verses of the Gods
To write about poo
Is a crime against haiku
Committed by you.
Haiku # 68844, November 19, 2020 8:12 pm ET
by Haiku Morals Committee of Surveillance
Take not the LORD'S name
Upon thy vile filthy lips,
Ye damned spawn of hell.
Haiku # 68843, November 19, 2020 8:05 pm ET
by Friendly Local Christian Saint of the Neighborhood
If God wrote Haikus
He'd write them all about youse
On old skool tablets
Haiku # 68842, November 19, 2020 7:30 pm ET
by He loves you, baby of Up in this motherfucker
I have a new one:
Four more years with Donald Trump.
It's so . . . poetic.
Haiku # 68841, November 19, 2020 6:22 am ET
by Audit of Illegitimate Voting Procedures
What's with Bad Haiku?
Website won't let me post here.
Too many controls.
Haiku # 68840, November 19, 2020 6:13 am ET
by Try Again
Some call it murder.
I chopped down the willow tree.
Sick of cry babies.
Haiku # 68839, November 19, 2020 4:29 am ET
by Weep in Hell, my cellulose friend.
Suck poo off my balls.
Noticer didn't notice
reaper pepper seeds.

My diarrhea:
spicy testicular sauce
For you and your mom.

It puckers and snaps,
My red-hot angry anus,
to French kiss your tongue.
Haiku # 68838, November 19, 2020 4:04 am ET
by Better than hot wings. Fun for the hole family! of Whores must bring their own tequilla.
Darth's Fart Gallery
"When he has diarrhea
he's Jackson Pollock"
Haiku # 68837, November 19, 2020 2:21 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Note on toilet seat:
"Don't Flush! Getting tape measure.
It's a world record!"
Haiku # 68836, November 19, 2020 2:13 am ET
by Okay, go ahead and peek.
Darth of the Three Dinks
I'll call you Triskelion
Where do you buy pants?
Haiku # 68835, November 19, 2020 2:10 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Jello Wrestling.
Biden and Trump butt-naked.
Live stream on PornHub.
Haiku # 68834, November 19, 2020 2:09 am ET
by Praise Jesus!
You left the lid up
That's why I filed for divorce
So tired of your shit
Haiku # 68833, November 19, 2020 2:06 am ET
by Pissed of Off
there is a bottom
he's the man-child at the top
a great orange arse
Haiku # 68832, November 18, 2020 11:57 pm ET
by ash of republican reviews
So you guys are worried about the next face that our problems is going to disguise itself as rather than the problems themselves.

Go out and buy guns.
That's the only solution.
You will thank me soon.

I know more than you.
Listen to the old-timers.
Can't keep their mouths shut.
Haiku # 68831, November 18, 2020 11:21 pm ET
by It's coming soon!
You ever wonder...
Do Eskimoes bang cave bears?
Hibernation rape.
Haiku # 68830, November 18, 2020 6:42 pm ET
by Saves on roofies. of You'll never watch Bernstein Bears or Bare Bears w/o thinking of me. In you it.
Hey look, could be worse.
What if I were president?
Call me Darth Nuke-em!

Reset the clock back
to the stone age and we'll all
use spears and stone tools.

And be mutated.
But that's like half the fun, yeah?
Check out my three schlongs.
Haiku # 68829, November 18, 2020 6:36 pm ET
by President Darth Whorendous of Vice President Pee Wee Herman
Flush that clogger down
Good riddance, foul orange clown
Joe's coming to town
Haiku # 68828, November 18, 2020 5:13 pm ET
by U. R. Evicted of Haiku Central
Are you on crack man?
C'mon man- you voted for Joe?
How damn dumb was that?
Haiku # 68827, November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
President Harris
Say it with me sad lofan....
President Harris

Inmate Donald tRump
Say it with me sad lofan
Inmate Donald tRump
Haiku # 68826, November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET
by Jesus loves me but not you
Sometimes I wonder
How dumb republicans are
There is no bottom
Haiku # 68825, November 18, 2020 2:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Magic man in sky
Will save us from the science
We don't understand
Haiku # 68824, November 18, 2020 2:39 pm ET
by Retarded christian
Seventy one million votes
For President Trump
Not one city destroyed

What does that tell you
Democrat destroyer dolts?
You won but- you lost.

In less than one year
Joe Bribe'um will give
The rule of America

To Komodo Harris
Then you will holler real loud
Damn! what have I done?!
Haiku # 68823, November 18, 2020 2:37 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The young Staruck's girl
With a fine outstanding body
and a lovely face

Was glad to see me
Until Gavin Guv. Gruesome
Shut down the seating.

The Bolshevik fop
makes rules for the poor Kulaks
at the French Laundry.

Democrat Bastard
typical hypocrite clown
like all of your clan.
Haiku # 68822, November 18, 2020 2:14 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Stop the steal? Really?
Bunch of whining deniers
More like stop the squeal
Haiku # 68821, November 18, 2020 11:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
One haiku, three lies.
Well done fascist footlocker
I hope you catch it.
Haiku # 68820, November 18, 2020 11:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Glorified chest cold.
Red Chinee lab-made virus:
Globalist's wet-dream.
Haiku # 68819, November 18, 2020 9:48 am ET
by Doctor Fauci of Self-Contradicting Nonsense
We are Covid Kids.
4 million strong, and growing.
That's active cases.
Haiku # 68818, November 18, 2020 7:26 am ET
by It's a conspiracy of piracy. of They done stole the vote!
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