BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
20 Days
68976 Haikus
You ever wonder...
Do Eskimoes bang cave bears?
Hibernation rape.
Haiku #68830, by Saves on roofies. of You'll never watch Bernstein Bears or Bare Bears w/o thinking of me. In you it.
November 18, 2020 6:42 pm ET

Hey look, could be worse.
What if I were president?
Call me Darth Nuke-em!

Reset the clock back
to the stone age and we'll all
use spears and stone tools.

And be mutated.
But that's like half the fun, yeah?
Check out my three schlongs.
Haiku #68829, by President Darth Whorendous of Vice President Pee Wee Herman
November 18, 2020 6:36 pm ET

Flush that clogger down
Good riddance, foul orange clown
Joe's coming to town
Haiku #68828, by U. R. Evicted of Haiku Central
November 18, 2020 5:13 pm ET

Are you on crack man?
C'mon man- you voted for Joe?
How damn dumb was that?
Haiku #68827, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET

President Harris
Say it with me sad lofan....
President Harris

Inmate Donald tRump
Say it with me sad lofan
Inmate Donald tRump
Haiku #68826, by Jesus loves me but not you
November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
How dumb republicans are
There is no bottom
Haiku #68825, by Anonymous Poet
November 18, 2020 2:44 pm ET

Magic man in sky
Will save us from the science
We don't understand
Haiku #68824, by Retarded christian
November 18, 2020 2:39 pm ET

Seventy one million votes
For President Trump
Not one city destroyed

What does that tell you
Democrat destroyer dolts?
You won but- you lost.

In less than one year
Joe Bribe'um will give
The rule of America

To Komodo Harris
Then you will holler real loud
Damn! what have I done?!
Haiku #68823, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 18, 2020 2:37 pm ET

The young Staruck's girl
With a fine outstanding body
and a lovely face

Was glad to see me
Until Gavin Guv. Gruesome
Shut down the seating.

The Bolshevik fop
makes rules for the poor Kulaks
at the French Laundry.

Democrat Bastard
typical hypocrite clown
like all of your clan.
Haiku #68822, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 18, 2020 2:14 pm ET

Stop the steal? Really?
Bunch of whining deniers
More like stop the squeal
Haiku #68821, by Anonymous Poet
November 18, 2020 11:27 am ET

One haiku, three lies.
Well done fascist footlocker
I hope you catch it.
Haiku #68820, by Anonymous Poet
November 18, 2020 11:24 am ET

Glorified chest cold.
Red Chinee lab-made virus:
Globalist's wet-dream.
Haiku #68819, by Doctor Fauci of Self-Contradicting Nonsense
November 18, 2020 9:48 am ET

We are Covid Kids.
4 million strong, and growing.
That's active cases.
Haiku #68818, by It's a conspiracy of piracy. of They done stole the vote!
November 18, 2020 7:26 am ET

You should not be here.
Please go get your Trump Won sign.
Join the protests now.
Haiku #68817, by MAGA-natism of Stop the Steal
November 17, 2020 11:08 pm ET

Control the virus
Who will make all the dildos
if China goes down?

Let's measure it, Darth
Contraption from old shoe store
Feels good and accurate
Haiku #68816, by Holder of the slidey thing of On bended knees
November 17, 2020 9:37 pm ET

I find it interesting how some states in the US have a lingering "active covid" cases and others seem to have "instant recovery".

The lack of consistent reporting of cases and inaccuracy of data leads to poor decision making for those in charge of handling the crisis.

My penis is a bit on the small size, but still I'd really like a blowjob after my morning coffee b/c I'm fresh out of guinea pigs to rape.

Will the virus mutate over the winter into a more lasting and dangerous strain? We can only pray that it will. Therefore the US will be vulnerable to military invasion and China will take over, ending the era of the "free world" and we will all be communists.

You can blame Donald Trump, but his penis is smaller than mine and that's why I voted for him. So it's okay.
Haiku #68815, by Well bugger me in a phone booth, if it isn't Clark Kent! of My kryptonite is cheese.
November 17, 2020 8:49 pm ET

to be honest i
don't give a shit about that
guy on here's thingy

twitter is worse by a light year
Haiku #68814, by vhs of used to DW
November 17, 2020 8:48 pm ET

Fig leaf malfunction
Garden of Eden tent pole
Now here comes the snake
Haiku #68813, by E. Vaporated of Condensed Canned Bibles
November 17, 2020 8:47 pm ET

No, I have not pooped.
Next you'll say I'm full of shit.
A double meaning.

Either way, you're right.
My God, you are so clever.
How do you do that?
Haiku #68812, by dw
November 17, 2020 8:18 pm ET

An overdue patch
Is better late than never
But oh, so, so late
Haiku #68811, by Adam
November 17, 2020 7:38 pm ET

Say, Darth, my good man
It's kind of personal but
Did you poop today?
Haiku #68810, by #2 Curious of 2-ply world
November 17, 2020 5:47 pm ET

There are good people
Since God created mankind.
(But not the Marxists)
Haiku #68809, by Signifying Monkey of HAIKU
November 17, 2020 5:29 pm ET

I must write something.
I only have a minute.
Oh, shit, now it's gone.
Haiku #68808, by dw
November 17, 2020 5:27 pm ET

Fish are assholes too
"I can breathe in the water!"
Arrogant fuckers
Haiku #68807, by Gamey Warden
November 17, 2020 5:22 pm ET

There aren't good people.
Since the first ape walked upright.
Since fish first breathed air.
Haiku #68806, by blahblah
November 17, 2020 7:06 am ET

torch that jazz lettuce
then suck like a hoover, but...
don't be a bogart
Haiku #68805, by ash
November 17, 2020 6:03 am ET

set up us the don
all your white house are belong
no chance to survive
Haiku #68804, by ash of the west (zero) wing
November 17, 2020 6:00 am ET

Now someone chimes in
"There's still good people out there."
I could write this script
Haiku #68803, by Drunk of Barstool
November 17, 2020 1:07 am ET

Paying it forward
with random acts of blow jobs
in the Starbucks line
Haiku #68802, by Caffeinated of Starbucks
November 17, 2020 12:57 am ET

Have you lost all faith..
In God and humanity?
You are not alone.
Haiku #68801, by Darth Whorendous
November 16, 2020 8:23 pm ET

Sativa fire gold
Watermelon gelato
The devil's lettuce
Haiku #68800, by High AF of Pacific Northwest
November 16, 2020 1:08 am ET

What you smokin', man?
Indica or Sativa.
Sativa's my friend.
Haiku #68799, by Oregon bound.
November 15, 2020 11:33 pm ET

Panic Room fogged up
Combinations of your farts
and this big phat spliff
Haiku #68798, by Allsmoke of High As Fuck
November 15, 2020 9:33 pm ET

I enslave my sin.
It does not enslave me.
Except on weekends.
Haiku #68797, by Darth Whorendous
November 15, 2020 8:38 pm ET

Huh huh, you said "fart".
Fart oo much. I heard it, dude.
Wanna hear me fart?
Haiku #68796, by Me farts you think too much.
November 15, 2020 8:31 pm ET

Methinks thou dost talk
far too much.Thou art surely
enslaved to thy sin.
Haiku #68795, by King James of 1611
November 15, 2020 7:45 pm ET

I enjoy saying highly inappropriate things to get an angry response.
I enjoy watching enemies suffer and often go to lengths to make sure that it happens.
I fart a lot.
I like an occassional beer or two, mushrooms, marijuana, once in a blue moon, LSD. But I get pissed at drunks and those who take drugs way too much.
Hmmm... Maybe I'm just a grumpy old fart. Is that a mental condition?
Fuck it, time for morning exercise.
Haiku #68794, by blahblahblah of I sure would like to have a name to attach to my disorder. Misanthropic platypus analizer. Sounds good.
November 15, 2020 7:15 pm ET

I don't suffer from
insanity due to the
fact I enjoy it.
Haiku #68793, by dw. Is the fear of having a mental disorder a mental disorder?
November 15, 2020 7:07 pm ET

It's highly likely
that Darth Whorrendous has a
Haiku #68792, by Science is Unreal of Fake Therapy
November 15, 2020 6:03 pm ET

it's highly likely
those alien anal probes
aren't scientific
Haiku #68791, by ash
November 15, 2020 7:38 am ET

viagra shoppers
don't buy those fake boner pills
you know you'll get stiffed
Haiku #68790, by ash
November 15, 2020 7:33 am ET

viagra rezept holland viagra for esophageal spasms
Haiku #68788, by KmrfGawl of London
November 15, 2020 5:35 am ET

petulant pissant
the puckering president
doing fishy lips
Haiku #68787, by ash
November 15, 2020 4:14 am ET

Oh, I had a boner
I steered the Uber with it
They call you Smalldink?
Haiku #68786, by Alien Uber of GPS ( Genitalia Performs Steering)
November 15, 2020 4:03 am ET

That's bullshit. The aliens picked me up and never once hit on me.
Haiku #68785, by Anonymous Poet
November 15, 2020 3:52 am ET

Glow in the dark dinks
No more tripping over them
Prevent slips and falls
Haiku #68784, by Glow in the Dark Dinks, Co. of China
November 15, 2020 12:31 am ET

Ride in a spaceship
Tall Grays hustling Uber
They'll try to fuck you
Haiku #68783, by I. kindalikedit of Out in orbit
November 15, 2020 12:23 am ET

Demon rats think they won
But like Fidel fans in Cuba
Soon- find that they lost.
Haiku #68782, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 14, 2020 10:37 pm ET

The Chicom killer's
Kill million people, world wide
Demonrats- blame Trump
Haiku #68781, by Wonglofan of Kalifornia
November 14, 2020 10:33 pm ET

Thanks for the heads up
I just put in a quarter
for a superball
Haiku #68780, by Dejected of Vending Machines
November 14, 2020 9:53 pm ET