BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
19 Days
68965 Haikus
An overdue patch
Is better late than never
But oh, so, so late
Haiku #68811, by Adam
November 17, 2020 7:38 pm ET

Say, Darth, my good man
It's kind of personal but
Did you poop today?
Haiku #68810, by #2 Curious of 2-ply world
November 17, 2020 5:47 pm ET

There are good people
Since God created mankind.
(But not the Marxists)
Haiku #68809, by Signifying Monkey of HAIKU
November 17, 2020 5:29 pm ET

I must write something.
I only have a minute.
Oh, shit, now it's gone.
Haiku #68808, by dw
November 17, 2020 5:27 pm ET

Fish are assholes too
"I can breathe in the water!"
Arrogant fuckers
Haiku #68807, by Gamey Warden
November 17, 2020 5:22 pm ET

There aren't good people.
Since the first ape walked upright.
Since fish first breathed air.
Haiku #68806, by blahblah
November 17, 2020 7:06 am ET

torch that jazz lettuce
then suck like a hoover, but...
don't be a bogart
Haiku #68805, by ash
November 17, 2020 6:03 am ET

set up us the don
all your white house are belong
no chance to survive
Haiku #68804, by ash of the west (zero) wing
November 17, 2020 6:00 am ET

Now someone chimes in
"There's still good people out there."
I could write this script
Haiku #68803, by Drunk of Barstool
November 17, 2020 1:07 am ET

Paying it forward
with random acts of blow jobs
in the Starbucks line
Haiku #68802, by Caffeinated of Starbucks
November 17, 2020 12:57 am ET

Have you lost all faith..
In God and humanity?
You are not alone.
Haiku #68801, by Darth Whorendous
November 16, 2020 8:23 pm ET

Sativa fire gold
Watermelon gelato
The devil's lettuce
Haiku #68800, by High AF of Pacific Northwest
November 16, 2020 1:08 am ET

What you smokin', man?
Indica or Sativa.
Sativa's my friend.
Haiku #68799, by Oregon bound.
November 15, 2020 11:33 pm ET

Panic Room fogged up
Combinations of your farts
and this big phat spliff
Haiku #68798, by Allsmoke of High As Fuck
November 15, 2020 9:33 pm ET

I enslave my sin.
It does not enslave me.
Except on weekends.
Haiku #68797, by Darth Whorendous
November 15, 2020 8:38 pm ET

Huh huh, you said "fart".
Fart oo much. I heard it, dude.
Wanna hear me fart?
Haiku #68796, by Me farts you think too much.
November 15, 2020 8:31 pm ET

Methinks thou dost talk
far too much.Thou art surely
enslaved to thy sin.
Haiku #68795, by King James of 1611
November 15, 2020 7:45 pm ET

I enjoy saying highly inappropriate things to get an angry response.
I enjoy watching enemies suffer and often go to lengths to make sure that it happens.
I fart a lot.
I like an occassional beer or two, mushrooms, marijuana, once in a blue moon, LSD. But I get pissed at drunks and those who take drugs way too much.
Hmmm... Maybe I'm just a grumpy old fart. Is that a mental condition?
Fuck it, time for morning exercise.
Haiku #68794, by blahblahblah of I sure would like to have a name to attach to my disorder. Misanthropic platypus analizer. Sounds good.
November 15, 2020 7:15 pm ET

I don't suffer from
insanity due to the
fact I enjoy it.
Haiku #68793, by dw. Is the fear of having a mental disorder a mental disorder?
November 15, 2020 7:07 pm ET

It's highly likely
that Darth Whorrendous has a
Haiku #68792, by Science is Unreal of Fake Therapy
November 15, 2020 6:03 pm ET

it's highly likely
those alien anal probes
aren't scientific
Haiku #68791, by ash
November 15, 2020 7:38 am ET

viagra shoppers
don't buy those fake boner pills
you know you'll get stiffed
Haiku #68790, by ash
November 15, 2020 7:33 am ET

viagra rezept holland viagra for esophageal spasms
Haiku #68788, by KmrfGawl of London
November 15, 2020 5:35 am ET

petulant pissant
the puckering president
doing fishy lips
Haiku #68787, by ash
November 15, 2020 4:14 am ET

Oh, I had a boner
I steered the Uber with it
They call you Smalldink?
Haiku #68786, by Alien Uber of GPS ( Genitalia Performs Steering)
November 15, 2020 4:03 am ET

That's bullshit. The aliens picked me up and never once hit on me.
Haiku #68785, by Anonymous Poet
November 15, 2020 3:52 am ET

Glow in the dark dinks
No more tripping over them
Prevent slips and falls
Haiku #68784, by Glow in the Dark Dinks, Co. of China
November 15, 2020 12:31 am ET

Ride in a spaceship
Tall Grays hustling Uber
They'll try to fuck you
Haiku #68783, by I. kindalikedit of Out in orbit
November 15, 2020 12:23 am ET

Demon rats think they won
But like Fidel fans in Cuba
Soon- find that they lost.
Haiku #68782, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 14, 2020 10:37 pm ET

The Chicom killer's
Kill million people, world wide
Demonrats- blame Trump
Haiku #68781, by Wonglofan of Kalifornia
November 14, 2020 10:33 pm ET

Thanks for the heads up
I just put in a quarter
for a superball
Haiku #68780, by Dejected of Vending Machines
November 14, 2020 9:53 pm ET

The Chinese put covid in gumball machine toys. When we're at a low, they will march right in. Take my word for it!
Haiku #68779, by Anonymous Poet
November 14, 2020 9:45 pm ET

Sunbathing town slut
On an old 7-Up towel
That's when I mooned her
Haiku #68778, by Hiding from Mom of Grounded
November 14, 2020 9:10 pm ET

the thoughtful poet
carefully considers verse
and doesn't post here
Haiku #68777, by ash
November 14, 2020 7:27 pm ET

They fatten them up
Seven weeks of speed eating
and off to market

Phallic Greengrocer
He's calling out the Devil
What a fine eggplant
Haiku #68776, by Fugg Ugly of Pool Hall
November 14, 2020 7:16 pm ET

Cephalopod's choice
Get fucked by 7 seahorses
or read these poens
Haiku #68775, by Ann D'Theroff of Trough
November 14, 2020 6:55 pm ET

How about covid?
They look like suction cup balls.
Twenty five cents each.

Made by communists.
At a cost of 2 cents each.
Bio-econ war.
Haiku #68774, by Tell me I'm wrong!
November 14, 2020 6:49 pm ET

Adrenaline form
From chops u dick
Stick mouth in meat stick
Thrash throat trash
Haiku #68773, by Puss Dick of Andyâ
November 14, 2020 6:31 pm ET

Pinnacle of modern world.
Human meat in cans.
Haiku #68772, by Trumps neck looks tasty.
November 14, 2020 6:18 pm ET

You get dead silence
Mention cannibalism
It's like no one cares
Haiku #68771, by Sausage dink of Under old willow
November 14, 2020 5:56 pm ET

Yeah, go ahead man
Slather it all over you, man.
That would be witchy
Haiku #68770, by Charles Manson of I could be here..or I could be over there
November 14, 2020 5:52 pm ET

Spread Gulden's Mustard
on your bologna sandwich
My advice to you
Haiku #68769, by Cold Cut chillin of Meat Bin
November 14, 2020 5:36 pm ET

The people eaters
They've got all the heads in jars
up in the cupboard
Haiku #68768, by Drunk of Barstool
November 14, 2020 5:32 pm ET

Pussy is stinky.
It's better to fuck lunch meat.
It's in The Bible.
Haiku #68767, by Mason Jarr Hedd of No pickle relish.
November 14, 2020 5:27 pm ET

Kindly go on
I heard and saw you lie
You disgust all like rye
Little bumps of shit
Haiku #68766, by Pimple Dick of Puss Filled Miami
November 14, 2020 5:14 pm ET

Lunch meat rebelion.
All women will be enslaved.
We fuck bologna.

Women are all whores.
Cunts are for reproduction.
Good for nothing else.

The real question is
Oscar Mayer or Hormel?
Bologna or Ham?

I think I prefer
Oscar Mayer Naturals
Turkey ham slices.
Haiku #68765, by Mason Jarr of Your Fearless Leader
November 14, 2020 3:09 pm ET

Is your name Mason?
I saw you on Mike Douglas
Still enjoy your meat?
Haiku #68764, by Lunchable of Under old willow
November 14, 2020 11:51 am ET

Luncheon meat activities.
What's my first name, bitch?!
Haiku #68763, by Oscar
November 14, 2020 7:54 am ET

The Greatest Haiku
Some of them can be found here
and some of them can't
Haiku #68762, by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
November 14, 2020 6:42 am ET

All I want is for
covid to kill poets and
other enemies.
Haiku #68761, by I still think we need airborne HIV of Or rogue war robots and smart missiles that are self-aware.
November 14, 2020 5:51 am ET