BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
19 Days
and
68965 Haikus
later...
They fatten them up
Seven weeks of speed eating
and off to market

Phallic Greengrocer
He's calling out the Devil
What a fine eggplant
Haiku #68776, by Fugg Ugly of Pool Hall
November 14, 2020 7:16 pm ET

Cephalopod's choice
Get fucked by 7 seahorses
or read these poens
Haiku #68775, by Ann D'Theroff of Trough
November 14, 2020 6:55 pm ET

How about covid?
They look like suction cup balls.
Twenty five cents each.

Made by communists.
At a cost of 2 cents each.
Bio-econ war.
Haiku #68774, by Tell me I'm wrong!
November 14, 2020 6:49 pm ET

Adrenaline form
From chops u dick
Stick mouth in meat stick
Thrash throat trash
Haiku #68773, by Puss Dick of Andyâ
November 14, 2020 6:31 pm ET

Can-ibalism.
Pinnacle of modern world.
Human meat in cans.
Haiku #68772, by Trumps neck looks tasty.
November 14, 2020 6:18 pm ET

You get dead silence
Mention cannibalism
It's like no one cares
Haiku #68771, by Sausage dink of Under old willow
November 14, 2020 5:56 pm ET

Yeah, go ahead man
Slather it all over you, man.
That would be witchy
Haiku #68770, by Charles Manson of I could be here..or I could be over there
November 14, 2020 5:52 pm ET

Spread Gulden's Mustard
on your bologna sandwich
My advice to you
Haiku #68769, by Cold Cut chillin of Meat Bin
November 14, 2020 5:36 pm ET

The people eaters
They've got all the heads in jars
up in the cupboard
Haiku #68768, by Drunk of Barstool
November 14, 2020 5:32 pm ET

Pussy is stinky.
It's better to fuck lunch meat.
It's in The Bible.
Haiku #68767, by Mason Jarr Hedd of No pickle relish.
November 14, 2020 5:27 pm ET

Kindly go on
I heard and saw you lie
You disgust all like rye
Little bumps of shit
Haiku #68766, by Pimple Dick of Puss Filled Miami
November 14, 2020 5:14 pm ET

Lunch meat rebelion.
All women will be enslaved.
We fuck bologna.

Women are all whores.
Cunts are for reproduction.
Good for nothing else.

The real question is
Oscar Mayer or Hormel?
Bologna or Ham?

I think I prefer
Oscar Mayer Naturals
Turkey ham slices.
Haiku #68765, by Mason Jarr of Your Fearless Leader
November 14, 2020 3:09 pm ET

Is your name Mason?
I saw you on Mike Douglas
Still enjoy your meat?
Haiku #68764, by Lunchable of Under old willow
November 14, 2020 11:51 am ET

Innappropriate
Luncheon meat activities.
What's my first name, bitch?!
Haiku #68763, by Oscar
November 14, 2020 7:54 am ET

The Greatest Haiku
Some of them can be found here
and some of them can't
Haiku #68762, by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
November 14, 2020 6:42 am ET

All I want is for
covid to kill poets and
other enemies.
Haiku #68761, by I still think we need airborne HIV of Or rogue war robots and smart missiles that are self-aware.
November 14, 2020 5:51 am ET

Haiku do not "want".
It is you, my friend, that wants.
Always so greedy.
Haiku #68760, by If you want something, then riot for it, like the rest of us.
November 14, 2020 5:47 am ET

Get back in line Darth.
Your haiku has been measured
And been found wanting.
Haiku #68759, by Syllabobble Police of Haiku Patrol
November 14, 2020 3:08 am ET

Chinese Russian Republican Cheetos.
Crush them up to make fried chicken breading.
Serve with large slice of watermelon and jalapeno corn bread. And Colt 45.

What do you call it when a Jew eats fried chicken and watermelon?
Artificial penis lengthener.
Haiku #68758, by dw of Oy vay!
November 13, 2020 9:33 pm ET

hail the golden goose
a stale donald duck l'orange
serve the just deserts
Haiku #68757, by ash
November 13, 2020 7:32 pm ET

the greatest critic
i bet trump thinks that blue poles
means democrat votes
Haiku #68756, by ash of national gallery of australia
November 13, 2020 7:03 pm ET

Dumb ass repubtards
Eat Russian propaganda
'Cause that's all they got
Haiku #68755, by You lost....get over it of Do those words sound familiar? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
November 13, 2020 2:50 pm ET

Wong, have you ever eaten cat or dog? Maybe in China you have dogatolin, dog stuffed w/ cat stuffed w/ pangolin. Ancient Chinese medicine.
Haiku #68754, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2020 2:06 pm ET

That's just Wong
on so many revels.
Haiku #68753, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2020 2:04 pm ET

Bejing Xiden rules!
Down there in hell- Mao claps hands!
Watching Hunter porn

"Cash my check" ha ha!
"Used to say that bout Chiang Kai Shek"
Now its Joe Bribeum!
Haiku #68752, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 13, 2020 1:58 pm ET

The day's not over.
Four million active cases.
I bet we'll reach it.
Haiku #68751, by All part of the plan of communist take over. Just you wait and see!
November 13, 2020 12:34 pm ET

Pole dancing vocational program.
Certification substitutes high school diploma.
Good day, class. Welcome to Lap Grinding 101.
Haiku #68750, by Keep your hands to your side.
November 13, 2020 12:29 pm ET

The Pythagorean theorem sure does get old after a while. We need some new exciting theorem like, "Fucking stupid triangles won't get you laid. Only money does that. Grab them by the pussy."
Haiku #68749, by White House Education Committee of Show us your Titties Committee.
November 13, 2020 12:12 pm ET

Imagine if Luke Skywalker
ever mistook his light saber
for his Fleshlight.
Haiku #68748, by OOPS!
November 13, 2020 12:04 pm ET

Green anal mucus.
Glowing radioactive.
Recharge your cell phone.
Haiku #68747, by Can you hear me now?
November 13, 2020 12:03 pm ET

Only through me can
you acheive a power be-
yond any Jedi!

Lets gang bang this girl.
Never mind that she's purple.
And has fourteen legs.
Haiku #68746, by SciFi Alien Sex of It's Out of This World!
November 13, 2020 11:51 am ET

Ash you need some help.
Your Trump Derangement Syndrome
Can be cured (through Trump)
Haiku #68745, by Ash the Aussie Abo Support Squad
November 13, 2020 11:14 am ET

trump's hair has gone white
a merkin supremacist
for a major twat
Haiku #68744, by ash
November 13, 2020 8:05 am ET

Somewhere in the world
Someone is taking a dump
That looks just like tRump
Haiku #68743, by Cargo pants mafia
November 13, 2020 7:07 am ET

Somewhere in the world
someone who looks just like you
is taking a dump
Haiku #68742, by Someone of Somewhere
November 13, 2020 5:58 am ET

happy birthday site
24 years old today
e-geriatric
Haiku #68741, by ash
November 13, 2020 3:02 am ET

Fart out your penis!
You say it's impossible,
but I did it once!
Haiku #68740, by My superpower!
November 12, 2020 11:25 pm ET

A new drinking game.
When covid numbers go up
you must take a shot.

Check your country's stats
each and every minute.
Worldmeter dot com.

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/

Oh shit. I have to have a shot now.

And if the active cases go down that means you have to rush into the bathroom and vomit.

Enjoy!
Haiku #68739, by Fraternity Paternity Testes Results of Boofing Clorox for Jesus (or Trump -- same same)
November 12, 2020 11:23 pm ET

No, I was not born.
I was found under a rock.
So my "mom" tells me.
Haiku #68738, by Darth Whorendous. of Rock-n-Roll!
November 12, 2020 9:37 pm ET

Drunken particles.
Accelerated neutrons.
Reactor meltdown.

It's Donald Trumps fault.
But at least it's not his fart.
That would be much worse.
Haiku #68737, by Supercritical participle nipple of Particular particle participating partly in the party
November 12, 2020 9:35 pm ET

Sigh, oh ye willows.
Hang your boughs in grief and shame:
Darth's mom has birthed him.
Haiku #68736, by Maternal Afterthoughts of Birther's Remorse
November 12, 2020 9:32 pm ET

So fun we got funt.
You were so bent you got bunt;
So shunned we were shunt.
Haiku #68735, by Pissed Participle of Irregular Brewery
November 12, 2020 9:28 pm ET

Noun. funt. A unit of weight: 1 funt = 1 qadaq = 32 lot = 96 mısqal = 409.5 g = 1 pound (archaic)

A funt is a pound!
Shit, I'd like to pound her funt!
That's a funky cunt.
Haiku #68734, by dw. Hot candle wax on balls. of how many candles, how many spanks?
November 12, 2020 9:20 pm ET

Those teenage hookers
Are very good at crochet.
They can make rugs too.
Haiku #68733, by Textile Sextile of Septimal
November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET

Haiku layer cake
Seventeen hot syllables
Happy Birthday, Darth
Haiku #68732, by Secret Admirer of Under old willow
November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET

Take your vitamins.
Don't want to have a limp dick,
you silly old man.

Guess how old I am.
Phyically not mentally.
Booger fart poopoo!
Haiku #68731, by Ancient teenager
November 12, 2020 9:15 pm ET

Do you like funt cake?
Who put this funt in my cart?
Funt should be a word.
Haiku #68730, by Or... maybe it is!
November 12, 2020 9:12 pm ET

How did you know that?!
But, and I've told you before,
I've stopped fucking pigs!

Just teenage hookers.
Make sure they're not ladyboys.
Those silly Asians.
Haiku #68729, by Darth WHORENDOUS! of Picking out Scorpio birthday cake.
November 12, 2020 8:54 pm ET

Did you remember
On this day in November?
Figpucker's Birthday
Haiku #68728, by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
November 12, 2020 6:51 pm ET

No conspiracy
Just lack of transparency
(Your emergency)
Haiku #68727, by Forensics of Polemics
November 12, 2020 5:18 am ET