Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 340 Days and 72801 Haikus later...

Pussy is stinky.
It's better to fuck lunch meat.
It's in The Bible.
Haiku # 68767, November 14, 2020 5:27 pm ET
by Mason Jarr Hedd of No pickle relish.
Kindly go on
I heard and saw you lie
You disgust all like rye
Little bumps of shit
Haiku # 68766, November 14, 2020 5:14 pm ET
by Pimple Dick of Puss Filled Miami
Lunch meat rebelion.
All women will be enslaved.
We fuck bologna.

Women are all whores.
Cunts are for reproduction.
Good for nothing else.

The real question is
Oscar Mayer or Hormel?
Bologna or Ham?

I think I prefer
Oscar Mayer Naturals
Turkey ham slices.
Haiku # 68765, November 14, 2020 3:09 pm ET
by Mason Jarr of Your Fearless Leader
Is your name Mason?
I saw you on Mike Douglas
Still enjoy your meat?
Haiku # 68764, November 14, 2020 11:51 am ET
by Lunchable of Under old willow
Innappropriate
Luncheon meat activities.
What's my first name, bitch?!
Haiku # 68763, November 14, 2020 7:54 am ET
by Oscar
The Greatest Haiku
Some of them can be found here
and some of them can't
Haiku # 68762, November 14, 2020 6:42 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
All I want is for
covid to kill poets and
other enemies.
Haiku # 68761, November 14, 2020 5:51 am ET
by I still think we need airborne HIV of Or rogue war robots and smart missiles that are self-aware.
Haiku do not "want".
It is you, my friend, that wants.
Always so greedy.
Haiku # 68760, November 14, 2020 5:47 am ET
by If you want something, then riot for it, like the rest of us.
Get back in line Darth.
Your haiku has been measured
And been found wanting.
Haiku # 68759, November 14, 2020 3:08 am ET
by Syllabobble Police of Haiku Patrol
hail the golden goose
a stale donald duck l'orange
serve the just deserts
Haiku # 68757, November 13, 2020 7:32 pm ET
by ash
the greatest critic
i bet trump thinks that blue poles
means democrat votes
Haiku # 68756, November 13, 2020 7:03 pm ET
by ash of national gallery of australia
Dumb ass repubtards
Eat Russian propaganda
'Cause that's all they got
Haiku # 68755, November 13, 2020 2:50 pm ET
by You lost....get over it of Do those words sound familiar? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Wong, have you ever eaten cat or dog? Maybe in China you have dogatolin, dog stuffed w/ cat stuffed w/ pangolin. Ancient Chinese medicine.
Haiku # 68754, November 13, 2020 2:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That's just Wong
on so many revels.
Haiku # 68753, November 13, 2020 2:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bejing Xiden rules!
Down there in hell- Mao claps hands!
Watching Hunter porn

"Cash my check" ha ha!
"Used to say that bout Chiang Kai Shek"
Now its Joe Bribeum!
Haiku # 68752, November 13, 2020 1:58 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The day's not over.
Four million active cases.
I bet we'll reach it.
Haiku # 68751, November 13, 2020 12:34 pm ET
by All part of the plan of communist take over. Just you wait and see!
Pole dancing vocational program.
Certification substitutes high school diploma.
Good day, class. Welcome to Lap Grinding 101.
Haiku # 68750, November 13, 2020 12:29 pm ET
by Keep your hands to your side.
The Pythagorean theorem sure does get old after a while. We need some new exciting theorem like, "Fucking stupid triangles won't get you laid. Only money does that. Grab them by the pussy."
Haiku # 68749, November 13, 2020 12:12 pm ET
by White House Education Committee of Show us your Titties Committee.
Imagine if Luke Skywalker
ever mistook his light saber
for his Fleshlight.
Haiku # 68748, November 13, 2020 12:04 pm ET
by OOPS!
Green anal mucus.
Glowing radioactive.
Recharge your cell phone.
Haiku # 68747, November 13, 2020 12:03 pm ET
by Can you hear me now?
Only through me can
you acheive a power be-
yond any Jedi!

Lets gang bang this girl.
Never mind that she's purple.
And has fourteen legs.
Haiku # 68746, November 13, 2020 11:51 am ET
by SciFi Alien Sex of It's Out of This World!
Ash you need some help.
Your Trump Derangement Syndrome
Can be cured (through Trump)
Haiku # 68745, November 13, 2020 11:14 am ET
by Ash the Aussie Abo Support Squad
trump's hair has gone white
a merkin supremacist
for a major twat
Haiku # 68744, November 13, 2020 8:05 am ET
by ash
Somewhere in the world
Someone is taking a dump
That looks just like tRump
Haiku # 68743, November 13, 2020 7:07 am ET
by Cargo pants mafia
Somewhere in the world
someone who looks just like you
is taking a dump
Haiku # 68742, November 13, 2020 5:58 am ET
by Someone of Somewhere
happy birthday site
24 years old today
e-geriatric
Haiku # 68741, November 13, 2020 3:02 am ET
by ash
Fart out your penis!
You say it's impossible,
but I did it once!
Haiku # 68740, November 12, 2020 11:25 pm ET
by My superpower!
A new drinking game.
When covid numbers go up
you must take a shot.

Check your country's stats
each and every minute.
Worldmeter dot com.

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/

Oh shit. I have to have a shot now.

And if the active cases go down that means you have to rush into the bathroom and vomit.

Enjoy!
Haiku # 68739, November 12, 2020 11:23 pm ET
by Fraternity Paternity Testes Results of Boofing Clorox for Jesus (or Trump -- same same)
No, I was not born.
I was found under a rock.
So my "mom" tells me.
Haiku # 68738, November 12, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous. of Rock-n-Roll!
Drunken particles.
Accelerated neutrons.
Reactor meltdown.

It's Donald Trumps fault.
But at least it's not his fart.
That would be much worse.
Haiku # 68737, November 12, 2020 9:35 pm ET
by Supercritical participle nipple of Particular particle participating partly in the party
Sigh, oh ye willows.
Hang your boughs in grief and shame:
Darth's mom has birthed him.
Haiku # 68736, November 12, 2020 9:32 pm ET
by Maternal Afterthoughts of Birther's Remorse
So fun we got funt.
You were so bent you got bunt;
So shunned we were shunt.
Haiku # 68735, November 12, 2020 9:28 pm ET
by Pissed Participle of Irregular Brewery
Noun. funt. A unit of weight: 1 funt = 1 qadaq = 32 lot = 96 mısqal = 409.5 g = 1 pound (archaic)

A funt is a pound!
Shit, I'd like to pound her funt!
That's a funky cunt.
Haiku # 68734, November 12, 2020 9:20 pm ET
by dw. Hot candle wax on balls. of how many candles, how many spanks?
Those teenage hookers
Are very good at crochet.
They can make rugs too.
Haiku # 68733, November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET
by Textile Sextile of Septimal
Haiku layer cake
Seventeen hot syllables
Happy Birthday, Darth
Haiku # 68732, November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Under old willow
Take your vitamins.
Don't want to have a limp dick,
you silly old man.

Guess how old I am.
Phyically not mentally.
Booger fart poopoo!
Haiku # 68731, November 12, 2020 9:15 pm ET
by Ancient teenager
Do you like funt cake?
Who put this funt in my cart?
Funt should be a word.
Haiku # 68730, November 12, 2020 9:12 pm ET
by Or... maybe it is!
How did you know that?!
But, and I've told you before,
I've stopped fucking pigs!

Just teenage hookers.
Make sure they're not ladyboys.
Those silly Asians.
Haiku # 68729, November 12, 2020 8:54 pm ET
by Darth WHORENDOUS! of Picking out Scorpio birthday cake.
Did you remember
On this day in November?
Figpucker's Birthday
Haiku # 68728, November 12, 2020 6:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
No conspiracy
Just lack of transparency
(Your emergency)
Haiku # 68727, November 12, 2020 5:18 am ET
by Forensics of Polemics
Breaking wind (and hearts)
Steamy kisses (fragrant farts)
Cupid's arrows (darts)
Haiku # 68726, November 12, 2020 5:14 am ET
by Gassanova
China lectures us ?
UN is irrelevant !
One World: go to hell.
Haiku # 68725, November 12, 2020 5:02 am ET
by Borders Language Culture
Elections have rules.
Science is real. No fake votes.
You can kiss my Ash.
Haiku # 68724, November 12, 2020 4:56 am ET
by So-Called Journalist of New York Times For Lying
A place for pigeons
Make him into a statue
If the coup don't fly
Haiku # 68723, November 11, 2020 11:03 pm ET
by Thinker of On the can
ima gonna stay
you can't make me go away
with illegal votes
Haiku # 68722, November 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET
by ash of in my safe place
Meow, Starkitten here
I like to call it catnip
It makes me purr. Purr ....
Haiku # 68721, November 11, 2020 10:04 pm ET
by Starkitten of Paw in the catnip
Donald Trump's a chump.
He will not concede his seed
in this time of need.

Watching the death count.
It's gotten to be boring.
Can I burn one, please?

I mean the bodies.
Or maybe a joint also.
Burn one then burn one.

To quote Cypress Hill:
I want to get hiiiigh, so high.
Insane in the brain.
Haiku # 68720, November 11, 2020 9:42 pm ET
by Love those silly gangster rappers. of And candy bar wrappers.
Honeymoon Night
Someone call the coroner
The little guy's dead
Haiku # 68719, November 11, 2020 7:55 pm ET
by Disappointed of Heart Shaped Bed
All these dead bodies.
I can't have sex with them and...
they're inedible!

Covid's not so fun.
Unless it kills enemies.
Then I'll have a laugh.
Haiku # 68718, November 11, 2020 7:50 pm ET
by millions upon millions of of corpses all going to waste :-(
The President, erect
He stands behind the lectern
Watch it levitate
Haiku # 68717, November 11, 2020 3:54 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Wearing a tarp like at a Gallagher performance
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