Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 20 Days and 74088 Haikus later...

No, I have not pooped.
Next you'll say I'm full of shit.
A double meaning.

Either way, you're right.
My God, you are so clever.
How do you do that?
Haiku # 68812, November 17, 2020 8:18 pm ET
by dw
An overdue patch
Is better late than never
But oh, so, so late
Haiku # 68811, November 17, 2020 7:38 pm ET
by Adam
Say, Darth, my good man
It's kind of personal but
Did you poop today?
Haiku # 68810, November 17, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by #2 Curious of 2-ply world
There are good people
Since God created mankind.
(But not the Marxists)
Haiku # 68809, November 17, 2020 5:29 pm ET
by Signifying Monkey of HAIKU
I must write something.
I only have a minute.
Oh, shit, now it's gone.
Haiku # 68808, November 17, 2020 5:27 pm ET
by dw
Fish are assholes too
"I can breathe in the water!"
Arrogant fuckers
Haiku # 68807, November 17, 2020 5:22 pm ET
by Gamey Warden
There aren't good people.
Since the first ape walked upright.
Since fish first breathed air.
Haiku # 68806, November 17, 2020 7:06 am ET
by blahblah
torch that jazz lettuce
then suck like a hoover, but...
don't be a bogart
Haiku # 68805, November 17, 2020 6:03 am ET
by ash
set up us the don
all your white house are belong
no chance to survive
Haiku # 68804, November 17, 2020 6:00 am ET
by ash of the west (zero) wing
Now someone chimes in
"There's still good people out there."
I could write this script
Haiku # 68803, November 17, 2020 1:07 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Paying it forward
with random acts of blow jobs
in the Starbucks line
Haiku # 68802, November 17, 2020 12:57 am ET
by Caffeinated of Starbucks
Have you lost all faith..
In God and humanity?
You are not alone.
Haiku # 68801, November 16, 2020 8:23 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous
Sativa fire gold
Watermelon gelato
The devil's lettuce
Haiku # 68800, November 16, 2020 1:08 am ET
by High AF of Pacific Northwest
What you smokin', man?
Indica or Sativa.
Sativa's my friend.
Haiku # 68799, November 15, 2020 11:33 pm ET
by Oregon bound.
Panic Room fogged up
Combinations of your farts
and this big phat spliff
Haiku # 68798, November 15, 2020 9:33 pm ET
by Allsmoke of High As Fuck
I enslave my sin.
It does not enslave me.
Except on weekends.
Haiku # 68797, November 15, 2020 8:38 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous
Huh huh, you said "fart".
Fart oo much. I heard it, dude.
Wanna hear me fart?
Haiku # 68796, November 15, 2020 8:31 pm ET
by Me farts you think too much.
Methinks thou dost talk
far too much.Thou art surely
enslaved to thy sin.
Haiku # 68795, November 15, 2020 7:45 pm ET
by King James of 1611
I enjoy saying highly inappropriate things to get an angry response.
I enjoy watching enemies suffer and often go to lengths to make sure that it happens.
I fart a lot.
I like an occassional beer or two, mushrooms, marijuana, once in a blue moon, LSD. But I get pissed at drunks and those who take drugs way too much.
Hmmm... Maybe I'm just a grumpy old fart. Is that a mental condition?
Fuck it, time for morning exercise.
Haiku # 68794, November 15, 2020 7:15 pm ET
by blahblahblah of I sure would like to have a name to attach to my disorder. Misanthropic platypus analizer. Sounds good.
I don't suffer from
insanity due to the
fact I enjoy it.
Haiku # 68793, November 15, 2020 7:07 pm ET
by dw. Is the fear of having a mental disorder a mental disorder?
It's highly likely
that Darth Whorrendous has a
MENTAL DISORDER.
Haiku # 68792, November 15, 2020 6:03 pm ET
by Science is Unreal of Fake Therapy
it's highly likely
those alien anal probes
aren't scientific
Haiku # 68791, November 15, 2020 7:38 am ET
by ash
viagra shoppers
don't buy those fake boner pills
you know you'll get stiffed
Haiku # 68790, November 15, 2020 7:33 am ET
by ash
petulant pissant
the puckering president
doing fishy lips
Haiku # 68787, November 15, 2020 4:14 am ET
by ash
Oh, I had a boner
I steered the Uber with it
They call you Smalldink?
Haiku # 68786, November 15, 2020 4:03 am ET
by Alien Uber of GPS ( Genitalia Performs Steering)
That's bullshit. The aliens picked me up and never once hit on me.
Haiku # 68785, November 15, 2020 3:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Glow in the dark dinks
No more tripping over them
Prevent slips and falls
Haiku # 68784, November 15, 2020 12:31 am ET
by Glow in the Dark Dinks, Co. of China
Ride in a spaceship
Tall Grays hustling Uber
They'll try to fuck you
Haiku # 68783, November 15, 2020 12:23 am ET
by I. kindalikedit of Out in orbit
Demon rats think they won
But like Fidel fans in Cuba
Soon- find that they lost.
Haiku # 68782, November 14, 2020 10:37 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The Chicom killer's
Kill million people, world wide
Demonrats- blame Trump
Haiku # 68781, November 14, 2020 10:33 pm ET
by Wonglofan of Kalifornia
Thanks for the heads up
I just put in a quarter
for a superball
Haiku # 68780, November 14, 2020 9:53 pm ET
by Dejected of Vending Machines
The Chinese put covid in gumball machine toys. When we're at a low, they will march right in. Take my word for it!
Haiku # 68779, November 14, 2020 9:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sunbathing town slut
On an old 7-Up towel
That's when I mooned her
Haiku # 68778, November 14, 2020 9:10 pm ET
by Hiding from Mom of Grounded
the thoughtful poet
carefully considers verse
and doesn't post here
Haiku # 68777, November 14, 2020 7:27 pm ET
by ash
They fatten them up
Seven weeks of speed eating
and off to market

Phallic Greengrocer
He's calling out the Devil
What a fine eggplant
Haiku # 68776, November 14, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by Fugg Ugly of Pool Hall
Cephalopod's choice
Get fucked by 7 seahorses
or read these poens
Haiku # 68775, November 14, 2020 6:55 pm ET
by Ann D'Theroff of Trough
How about covid?
They look like suction cup balls.
Twenty five cents each.

Made by communists.
At a cost of 2 cents each.
Bio-econ war.
Haiku # 68774, November 14, 2020 6:49 pm ET
by Tell me I'm wrong!
Adrenaline form
From chops u dick
Stick mouth in meat stick
Thrash throat trash
Haiku # 68773, November 14, 2020 6:31 pm ET
by Puss Dick of Andyâ
Can-ibalism.
Pinnacle of modern world.
Human meat in cans.
Haiku # 68772, November 14, 2020 6:18 pm ET
by Trumps neck looks tasty.
You get dead silence
Mention cannibalism
It's like no one cares
Haiku # 68771, November 14, 2020 5:56 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Under old willow
Yeah, go ahead man
Slather it all over you, man.
That would be witchy
Haiku # 68770, November 14, 2020 5:52 pm ET
by Charles Manson of I could be here..or I could be over there
Spread Gulden's Mustard
on your bologna sandwich
My advice to you
Haiku # 68769, November 14, 2020 5:36 pm ET
by Cold Cut chillin of Meat Bin
The people eaters
They've got all the heads in jars
up in the cupboard
Haiku # 68768, November 14, 2020 5:32 pm ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Pussy is stinky.
It's better to fuck lunch meat.
It's in The Bible.
Haiku # 68767, November 14, 2020 5:27 pm ET
by Mason Jarr Hedd of No pickle relish.
Kindly go on
I heard and saw you lie
You disgust all like rye
Little bumps of shit
Haiku # 68766, November 14, 2020 5:14 pm ET
by Pimple Dick of Puss Filled Miami
Lunch meat rebelion.
All women will be enslaved.
We fuck bologna.

Women are all whores.
Cunts are for reproduction.
Good for nothing else.

The real question is
Oscar Mayer or Hormel?
Bologna or Ham?

I think I prefer
Oscar Mayer Naturals
Turkey ham slices.
Haiku # 68765, November 14, 2020 3:09 pm ET
by Mason Jarr of Your Fearless Leader
Is your name Mason?
I saw you on Mike Douglas
Still enjoy your meat?
Haiku # 68764, November 14, 2020 11:51 am ET
by Lunchable of Under old willow
Innappropriate
Luncheon meat activities.
What's my first name, bitch?!
Haiku # 68763, November 14, 2020 7:54 am ET
by Oscar
The Greatest Haiku
Some of them can be found here
and some of them can't
Haiku # 68762, November 14, 2020 6:42 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
All I want is for
covid to kill poets and
other enemies.
Haiku # 68761, November 14, 2020 5:51 am ET
by I still think we need airborne HIV of Or rogue war robots and smart missiles that are self-aware.
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