BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
20 Days
and
68976 Haikus
later...
You should not be here.
Get your ass to church and pray.
Before it's too late.
Haiku #68852, by Lars of Metallica
November 20, 2020 10:12 am ET

time is running out
like rudy's hair colouring
but never say dye
Haiku #68851, by ash
November 20, 2020 4:28 am ET

Cruel TV dinner
Cake, Potatoes, gravy, corn
Not enough longpig
Haiku #68850, by Hungry Man of Chesterfield
November 20, 2020 2:01 am ET

You should not do that.
At least not here in public.
Go in the bushes.
Haiku #68849, by The Evil Dork Lard Whorrendous of The Ancient Sith Empire. May The Dark Side of The Farts be with you.
November 20, 2020 1:52 am ET

I am soooo sleepy.
Been up all night sucking dicks.
Better than haiku.

Oh well, dad needs rum.
Here's all my money, daddy.
And one last blow job.

Dried fish, rice, and sleep.
Get up and suck dicks again.
Hey, Darth, one fifty!
Haiku #68848, by Jovelyn, on the streets of the Philippines
November 19, 2020 10:49 pm ET

Look at that Beaver
The Rise and Fall of Peter Pond
Those aren't eels, they're dinks
Haiku #68847, by Fur Trader's Ghost of Canada
November 19, 2020 8:35 pm ET

Haiku shall triumph.
She shall sing a dirge for you
Over your remains.
Haiku #68846, by Massacre of Haiku
November 19, 2020 8:19 pm ET

I rip out your heart
And fling the beating organ
On haiku's altar.
Haiku #68845, by Verses of the Gods
November 19, 2020 8:16 pm ET

To write about poo
Is a crime against haiku
Committed by you.
Haiku #68844, by Haiku Morals Committee of Surveillance
November 19, 2020 8:12 pm ET

Take not the LORD'S name
Upon thy vile filthy lips,
Ye damned spawn of hell.
Haiku #68843, by Friendly Local Christian Saint of the Neighborhood
November 19, 2020 8:05 pm ET

If God wrote Haikus
He'd write them all about youse
On old skool tablets
Haiku #68842, by He loves you, baby of Up in this motherfucker
November 19, 2020 7:30 pm ET

I have a new one:
Four more years with Donald Trump.
It's so . . . poetic.
Haiku #68841, by Audit of Illegitimate Voting Procedures
November 19, 2020 6:22 am ET

What's with Bad Haiku?
Website won't let me post here.
Too many controls.
Haiku #68840, by Try Again
November 19, 2020 6:13 am ET

Some call it murder.
I chopped down the willow tree.
Sick of cry babies.
Haiku #68839, by Weep in Hell, my cellulose friend.
November 19, 2020 4:29 am ET

Suck poo off my balls.
Noticer didn't notice
reaper pepper seeds.

My diarrhea:
spicy testicular sauce
For you and your mom.

It puckers and snaps,
My red-hot angry anus,
to French kiss your tongue.
Haiku #68838, by Better than hot wings. Fun for the hole family! of Whores must bring their own tequilla.
November 19, 2020 4:04 am ET

Darth's Fart Gallery
"When he has diarrhea
he's Jackson Pollock"
Haiku #68837, by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
November 19, 2020 2:21 am ET

Note on toilet seat:
"Don't Flush! Getting tape measure.
It's a world record!"
Haiku #68836, by Okay, go ahead and peek.
November 19, 2020 2:13 am ET

Darth of the Three Dinks
I'll call you Triskelion
Where do you buy pants?
Haiku #68835, by Drunk of Barstool
November 19, 2020 2:10 am ET

Jello Wrestling.
Biden and Trump butt-naked.
Live stream on PornHub.
Haiku #68834, by Praise Jesus!
November 19, 2020 2:09 am ET

You left the lid up
That's why I filed for divorce
So tired of your shit
Haiku #68833, by Pissed of Off
November 19, 2020 2:06 am ET

there is a bottom
he's the man-child at the top
a great orange arse
Haiku #68832, by ash of republican reviews
November 18, 2020 11:57 pm ET

So you guys are worried about the next face that our problems is going to disguise itself as rather than the problems themselves.

Go out and buy guns.
That's the only solution.
You will thank me soon.

I know more than you.
Listen to the old-timers.
Can't keep their mouths shut.
Haiku #68831, by It's coming soon!
November 18, 2020 11:21 pm ET

You ever wonder...
Do Eskimoes bang cave bears?
Hibernation rape.
Haiku #68830, by Saves on roofies. of You'll never watch Bernstein Bears or Bare Bears w/o thinking of me. In you it.
November 18, 2020 6:42 pm ET

Hey look, could be worse.
What if I were president?
Call me Darth Nuke-em!

Reset the clock back
to the stone age and we'll all
use spears and stone tools.

And be mutated.
But that's like half the fun, yeah?
Check out my three schlongs.
Haiku #68829, by President Darth Whorendous of Vice President Pee Wee Herman
November 18, 2020 6:36 pm ET

Flush that clogger down
Good riddance, foul orange clown
Joe's coming to town
Haiku #68828, by U. R. Evicted of Haiku Central
November 18, 2020 5:13 pm ET

Are you on crack man?
C'mon man- you voted for Joe?
How damn dumb was that?
Haiku #68827, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET

President Harris
Say it with me sad lofan....
President Harris

Inmate Donald tRump
Say it with me sad lofan
Inmate Donald tRump
Haiku #68826, by Jesus loves me but not you
November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
How dumb republicans are
There is no bottom
Haiku #68825, by Anonymous Poet
November 18, 2020 2:44 pm ET

Magic man in sky
Will save us from the science
We don't understand
Haiku #68824, by Retarded christian
November 18, 2020 2:39 pm ET

Seventy one million votes
For President Trump
Not one city destroyed

What does that tell you
Democrat destroyer dolts?
You won but- you lost.

In less than one year
Joe Bribe'um will give
The rule of America

To Komodo Harris
Then you will holler real loud
Damn! what have I done?!
Haiku #68823, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 18, 2020 2:37 pm ET

The young Staruck's girl
With a fine outstanding body
and a lovely face

Was glad to see me
Until Gavin Guv. Gruesome
Shut down the seating.

The Bolshevik fop
makes rules for the poor Kulaks
at the French Laundry.

Democrat Bastard
typical hypocrite clown
like all of your clan.
Haiku #68822, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 18, 2020 2:14 pm ET

Stop the steal? Really?
Bunch of whining deniers
More like stop the squeal
Haiku #68821, by Anonymous Poet
November 18, 2020 11:27 am ET

One haiku, three lies.
Well done fascist footlocker
I hope you catch it.
Haiku #68820, by Anonymous Poet
November 18, 2020 11:24 am ET

Glorified chest cold.
Red Chinee lab-made virus:
Globalist's wet-dream.
Haiku #68819, by Doctor Fauci of Self-Contradicting Nonsense
November 18, 2020 9:48 am ET

We are Covid Kids.
4 million strong, and growing.
That's active cases.
Haiku #68818, by It's a conspiracy of piracy. of They done stole the vote!
November 18, 2020 7:26 am ET

You should not be here.
Please go get your Trump Won sign.
Join the protests now.
Haiku #68817, by MAGA-natism of Stop the Steal
November 17, 2020 11:08 pm ET

Control the virus
Who will make all the dildos
if China goes down?

Let's measure it, Darth
Contraption from old shoe store
Feels good and accurate
Haiku #68816, by Holder of the slidey thing of On bended knees
November 17, 2020 9:37 pm ET

I find it interesting how some states in the US have a lingering "active covid" cases and others seem to have "instant recovery".

The lack of consistent reporting of cases and inaccuracy of data leads to poor decision making for those in charge of handling the crisis.

My penis is a bit on the small size, but still I'd really like a blowjob after my morning coffee b/c I'm fresh out of guinea pigs to rape.

Will the virus mutate over the winter into a more lasting and dangerous strain? We can only pray that it will. Therefore the US will be vulnerable to military invasion and China will take over, ending the era of the "free world" and we will all be communists.

You can blame Donald Trump, but his penis is smaller than mine and that's why I voted for him. So it's okay.
Haiku #68815, by Well bugger me in a phone booth, if it isn't Clark Kent! of My kryptonite is cheese.
November 17, 2020 8:49 pm ET

to be honest i
don't give a shit about that
guy on here's thingy

twitter is worse by a light year
Haiku #68814, by vhs of used to DW
November 17, 2020 8:48 pm ET

Fig leaf malfunction
Garden of Eden tent pole
Now here comes the snake
Haiku #68813, by E. Vaporated of Condensed Canned Bibles
November 17, 2020 8:47 pm ET

No, I have not pooped.
Next you'll say I'm full of shit.
A double meaning.

Either way, you're right.
My God, you are so clever.
How do you do that?
Haiku #68812, by dw
November 17, 2020 8:18 pm ET

An overdue patch
Is better late than never
But oh, so, so late
Haiku #68811, by Adam
November 17, 2020 7:38 pm ET

Say, Darth, my good man
It's kind of personal but
Did you poop today?
Haiku #68810, by #2 Curious of 2-ply world
November 17, 2020 5:47 pm ET

There are good people
Since God created mankind.
(But not the Marxists)
Haiku #68809, by Signifying Monkey of HAIKU
November 17, 2020 5:29 pm ET

I must write something.
I only have a minute.
Oh, shit, now it's gone.
Haiku #68808, by dw
November 17, 2020 5:27 pm ET

Fish are assholes too
"I can breathe in the water!"
Arrogant fuckers
Haiku #68807, by Gamey Warden
November 17, 2020 5:22 pm ET

There aren't good people.
Since the first ape walked upright.
Since fish first breathed air.
Haiku #68806, by blahblah
November 17, 2020 7:06 am ET

torch that jazz lettuce
then suck like a hoover, but...
don't be a bogart
Haiku #68805, by ash
November 17, 2020 6:03 am ET

set up us the don
all your white house are belong
no chance to survive
Haiku #68804, by ash of the west (zero) wing
November 17, 2020 6:00 am ET

Now someone chimes in
"There's still good people out there."
I could write this script
Haiku #68803, by Drunk of Barstool
November 17, 2020 1:07 am ET