Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 307 Days and 72018 Haikus later...

Suck poo off my balls.
Noticer didn't notice
reaper pepper seeds.

My diarrhea:
spicy testicular sauce
For you and your mom.

It puckers and snaps,
My red-hot angry anus,
to French kiss your tongue.
Haiku # 68838, November 19, 2020 4:04 am ET
by Better than hot wings. Fun for the hole family! of Whores must bring their own tequilla.
Darth's Fart Gallery
"When he has diarrhea
he's Jackson Pollock"
Haiku # 68837, November 19, 2020 2:21 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Note on toilet seat:
"Don't Flush! Getting tape measure.
It's a world record!"
Haiku # 68836, November 19, 2020 2:13 am ET
by Okay, go ahead and peek.
Darth of the Three Dinks
I'll call you Triskelion
Where do you buy pants?
Haiku # 68835, November 19, 2020 2:10 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Jello Wrestling.
Biden and Trump butt-naked.
Live stream on PornHub.
Haiku # 68834, November 19, 2020 2:09 am ET
by Praise Jesus!
You left the lid up
That's why I filed for divorce
So tired of your shit
Haiku # 68833, November 19, 2020 2:06 am ET
by Pissed of Off
there is a bottom
he's the man-child at the top
a great orange arse
Haiku # 68832, November 18, 2020 11:57 pm ET
by ash of republican reviews
So you guys are worried about the next face that our problems is going to disguise itself as rather than the problems themselves.

Go out and buy guns.
That's the only solution.
You will thank me soon.

I know more than you.
Listen to the old-timers.
Can't keep their mouths shut.
Haiku # 68831, November 18, 2020 11:21 pm ET
by It's coming soon!
You ever wonder...
Do Eskimoes bang cave bears?
Hibernation rape.
Haiku # 68830, November 18, 2020 6:42 pm ET
by Saves on roofies. of You'll never watch Bernstein Bears or Bare Bears w/o thinking of me. In you it.
Hey look, could be worse.
What if I were president?
Call me Darth Nuke-em!

Reset the clock back
to the stone age and we'll all
use spears and stone tools.

And be mutated.
But that's like half the fun, yeah?
Check out my three schlongs.
Haiku # 68829, November 18, 2020 6:36 pm ET
by President Darth Whorendous of Vice President Pee Wee Herman
Flush that clogger down
Good riddance, foul orange clown
Joe's coming to town
Haiku # 68828, November 18, 2020 5:13 pm ET
by U. R. Evicted of Haiku Central
Are you on crack man?
C'mon man- you voted for Joe?
How damn dumb was that?
Haiku # 68827, November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
President Harris
Say it with me sad lofan....
President Harris

Inmate Donald tRump
Say it with me sad lofan
Inmate Donald tRump
Haiku # 68826, November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET
by Jesus loves me but not you
Sometimes I wonder
How dumb republicans are
There is no bottom
Haiku # 68825, November 18, 2020 2:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Magic man in sky
Will save us from the science
We don't understand
Haiku # 68824, November 18, 2020 2:39 pm ET
by Retarded christian
Seventy one million votes
For President Trump
Not one city destroyed

What does that tell you
Democrat destroyer dolts?
You won but- you lost.

In less than one year
Joe Bribe'um will give
The rule of America

To Komodo Harris
Then you will holler real loud
Damn! what have I done?!
Haiku # 68823, November 18, 2020 2:37 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The young Staruck's girl
With a fine outstanding body
and a lovely face

Was glad to see me
Until Gavin Guv. Gruesome
Shut down the seating.

The Bolshevik fop
makes rules for the poor Kulaks
at the French Laundry.

Democrat Bastard
typical hypocrite clown
like all of your clan.
Haiku # 68822, November 18, 2020 2:14 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Stop the steal? Really?
Bunch of whining deniers
More like stop the squeal
Haiku # 68821, November 18, 2020 11:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
One haiku, three lies.
Well done fascist footlocker
I hope you catch it.
Haiku # 68820, November 18, 2020 11:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Glorified chest cold.
Red Chinee lab-made virus:
Globalist's wet-dream.
Haiku # 68819, November 18, 2020 9:48 am ET
by Doctor Fauci of Self-Contradicting Nonsense
We are Covid Kids.
4 million strong, and growing.
That's active cases.
Haiku # 68818, November 18, 2020 7:26 am ET
by It's a conspiracy of piracy. of They done stole the vote!
You should not be here.
Please go get your Trump Won sign.
Join the protests now.
Haiku # 68817, November 17, 2020 11:08 pm ET
by MAGA-natism of Stop the Steal
Control the virus
Who will make all the dildos
if China goes down?

Let's measure it, Darth
Contraption from old shoe store
Feels good and accurate
Haiku # 68816, November 17, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by Holder of the slidey thing of On bended knees
I find it interesting how some states in the US have a lingering "active covid" cases and others seem to have "instant recovery".

The lack of consistent reporting of cases and inaccuracy of data leads to poor decision making for those in charge of handling the crisis.

My penis is a bit on the small size, but still I'd really like a blowjob after my morning coffee b/c I'm fresh out of guinea pigs to rape.

Will the virus mutate over the winter into a more lasting and dangerous strain? We can only pray that it will. Therefore the US will be vulnerable to military invasion and China will take over, ending the era of the "free world" and we will all be communists.

You can blame Donald Trump, but his penis is smaller than mine and that's why I voted for him. So it's okay.
Haiku # 68815, November 17, 2020 8:49 pm ET
by Well bugger me in a phone booth, if it isn't Clark Kent! of My kryptonite is cheese.
to be honest i
don't give a shit about that
guy on here's thingy

twitter is worse by a light year
Haiku # 68814, November 17, 2020 8:48 pm ET
by vhs of used to DW
Fig leaf malfunction
Garden of Eden tent pole
Now here comes the snake
Haiku # 68813, November 17, 2020 8:47 pm ET
by E. Vaporated of Condensed Canned Bibles
No, I have not pooped.
Next you'll say I'm full of shit.
A double meaning.

Either way, you're right.
My God, you are so clever.
How do you do that?
Haiku # 68812, November 17, 2020 8:18 pm ET
by dw
An overdue patch
Is better late than never
But oh, so, so late
Haiku # 68811, November 17, 2020 7:38 pm ET
by Adam
Say, Darth, my good man
It's kind of personal but
Did you poop today?
Haiku # 68810, November 17, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by #2 Curious of 2-ply world
There are good people
Since God created mankind.
(But not the Marxists)
Haiku # 68809, November 17, 2020 5:29 pm ET
by Signifying Monkey of HAIKU
I must write something.
I only have a minute.
Oh, shit, now it's gone.
Haiku # 68808, November 17, 2020 5:27 pm ET
by dw
Fish are assholes too
"I can breathe in the water!"
Arrogant fuckers
Haiku # 68807, November 17, 2020 5:22 pm ET
by Gamey Warden
There aren't good people.
Since the first ape walked upright.
Since fish first breathed air.
Haiku # 68806, November 17, 2020 7:06 am ET
by blahblah
torch that jazz lettuce
then suck like a hoover, but...
don't be a bogart
Haiku # 68805, November 17, 2020 6:03 am ET
by ash
set up us the don
all your white house are belong
no chance to survive
Haiku # 68804, November 17, 2020 6:00 am ET
by ash of the west (zero) wing
Now someone chimes in
"There's still good people out there."
I could write this script
Haiku # 68803, November 17, 2020 1:07 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Paying it forward
with random acts of blow jobs
in the Starbucks line
Haiku # 68802, November 17, 2020 12:57 am ET
by Caffeinated of Starbucks
Have you lost all faith..
In God and humanity?
You are not alone.
Haiku # 68801, November 16, 2020 8:23 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous
Sativa fire gold
Watermelon gelato
The devil's lettuce
Haiku # 68800, November 16, 2020 1:08 am ET
by High AF of Pacific Northwest
What you smokin', man?
Indica or Sativa.
Sativa's my friend.
Haiku # 68799, November 15, 2020 11:33 pm ET
by Oregon bound.
Panic Room fogged up
Combinations of your farts
and this big phat spliff
Haiku # 68798, November 15, 2020 9:33 pm ET
by Allsmoke of High As Fuck
I enslave my sin.
It does not enslave me.
Except on weekends.
Haiku # 68797, November 15, 2020 8:38 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous
Huh huh, you said "fart".
Fart oo much. I heard it, dude.
Wanna hear me fart?
Haiku # 68796, November 15, 2020 8:31 pm ET
by Me farts you think too much.
Methinks thou dost talk
far too much.Thou art surely
enslaved to thy sin.
Haiku # 68795, November 15, 2020 7:45 pm ET
by King James of 1611
I enjoy saying highly inappropriate things to get an angry response.
I enjoy watching enemies suffer and often go to lengths to make sure that it happens.
I fart a lot.
I like an occassional beer or two, mushrooms, marijuana, once in a blue moon, LSD. But I get pissed at drunks and those who take drugs way too much.
Hmmm... Maybe I'm just a grumpy old fart. Is that a mental condition?
Fuck it, time for morning exercise.
Haiku # 68794, November 15, 2020 7:15 pm ET
by blahblahblah of I sure would like to have a name to attach to my disorder. Misanthropic platypus analizer. Sounds good.
I don't suffer from
insanity due to the
fact I enjoy it.
Haiku # 68793, November 15, 2020 7:07 pm ET
by dw. Is the fear of having a mental disorder a mental disorder?
It's highly likely
that Darth Whorrendous has a
MENTAL DISORDER.
Haiku # 68792, November 15, 2020 6:03 pm ET
by Science is Unreal of Fake Therapy
it's highly likely
those alien anal probes
aren't scientific
Haiku # 68791, November 15, 2020 7:38 am ET
by ash
viagra shoppers
don't buy those fake boner pills
you know you'll get stiffed
Haiku # 68790, November 15, 2020 7:33 am ET
by ash
petulant pissant
the puckering president
doing fishy lips
Haiku # 68787, November 15, 2020 4:14 am ET
by ash
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