Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 272 Days and 75954 Haiku later...

What is your birthday?
And social security?
Bank account number?

Mother's maiden name.
Your paternal grandmother.
And your penis length.
Haiku # 68859, November 20, 2020 9:44 pm ET
by Asking for a friend.
Is Darth a Taurus?
Always talking about food
described in detail
Haiku # 68858, November 20, 2020 8:00 pm ET
by Russell Meupsomegrub of VIP Dining
Dig him up again
And look, he's got a boner
Exhuming Dick Clark
Haiku # 68857, November 20, 2020 7:56 pm ET
by 2021 of Wrecking Ball
the race is over
still running for the white house
artificial heir
Haiku # 68856, November 20, 2020 6:31 pm ET
by ash
For party parties.
Cheetos dipped in chocolate.
It's so fon-to-due!

The cheeto that's Trump.
The hot melted chocolate
that's Guilianni.

(However the hell you spell it.)
Haiku # 68855, November 20, 2020 6:04 pm ET
by Darth Chef of Look out Gordon Ramsay!... Maybe not.
With my pork pie hat
Cephalopod ink drip stains
Will my head explode?
Haiku # 68854, November 20, 2020 12:47 pm ET
by Mushhead of Nuthouse
Giulani's black sweat:
Soon there will be hell toupee.
The Rudy can't fail.
Haiku # 68853, November 20, 2020 10:53 am ET
by Roots of the Corruption
You should not be here.
Get your ass to church and pray.
Before it's too late.
Haiku # 68852, November 20, 2020 10:12 am ET
by Lars of Metallica
time is running out
like rudy's hair colouring
but never say dye
Haiku # 68851, November 20, 2020 4:28 am ET
by ash
Cruel TV dinner
Cake, Potatoes, gravy, corn
Not enough longpig
Haiku # 68850, November 20, 2020 2:01 am ET
by Hungry Man of Chesterfield
You should not do that.
At least not here in public.
Go in the bushes.
Haiku # 68849, November 20, 2020 1:52 am ET
by The Evil Dork Lard Whorrendous of The Ancient Sith Empire. May The Dark Side of The Farts be with you.
I am soooo sleepy.
Been up all night sucking dicks.
Better than haiku.

Oh well, dad needs rum.
Here's all my money, daddy.
And one last blow job.

Dried fish, rice, and sleep.
Get up and suck dicks again.
Hey, Darth, one fifty!
Haiku # 68848, November 19, 2020 10:49 pm ET
by Jovelyn, on the streets of the Philippines
Look at that Beaver
The Rise and Fall of Peter Pond
Those aren't eels, they're dinks
Haiku # 68847, November 19, 2020 8:35 pm ET
by Fur Trader's Ghost of Canada
Haiku shall triumph.
She shall sing a dirge for you
Over your remains.
Haiku # 68846, November 19, 2020 8:19 pm ET
by Massacre of Haiku
I rip out your heart
And fling the beating organ
On haiku's altar.
Haiku # 68845, November 19, 2020 8:16 pm ET
by Verses of the Gods
To write about poo
Is a crime against haiku
Committed by you.
Haiku # 68844, November 19, 2020 8:12 pm ET
by Haiku Morals Committee of Surveillance
Take not the LORD'S name
Upon thy vile filthy lips,
Ye damned spawn of hell.
Haiku # 68843, November 19, 2020 8:05 pm ET
by Friendly Local Christian Saint of the Neighborhood
If God wrote Haikus
He'd write them all about youse
On old skool tablets
Haiku # 68842, November 19, 2020 7:30 pm ET
by He loves you, baby of Up in this motherfucker
I have a new one:
Four more years with Donald Trump.
It's so . . . poetic.
Haiku # 68841, November 19, 2020 6:22 am ET
by Audit of Illegitimate Voting Procedures
What's with Bad Haiku?
Website won't let me post here.
Too many controls.
Haiku # 68840, November 19, 2020 6:13 am ET
by Try Again
Some call it murder.
I chopped down the willow tree.
Sick of cry babies.
Haiku # 68839, November 19, 2020 4:29 am ET
by Weep in Hell, my cellulose friend.
Suck poo off my balls.
Noticer didn't notice
reaper pepper seeds.

My diarrhea:
spicy testicular sauce
For you and your mom.

It puckers and snaps,
My red-hot angry anus,
to French kiss your tongue.
Haiku # 68838, November 19, 2020 4:04 am ET
by Better than hot wings. Fun for the hole family! of Whores must bring their own tequilla.
Darth's Fart Gallery
"When he has diarrhea
he's Jackson Pollock"
Haiku # 68837, November 19, 2020 2:21 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Note on toilet seat:
"Don't Flush! Getting tape measure.
It's a world record!"
Haiku # 68836, November 19, 2020 2:13 am ET
by Okay, go ahead and peek.
Darth of the Three Dinks
I'll call you Triskelion
Where do you buy pants?
Haiku # 68835, November 19, 2020 2:10 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Jello Wrestling.
Biden and Trump butt-naked.
Live stream on PornHub.
Haiku # 68834, November 19, 2020 2:09 am ET
by Praise Jesus!
You left the lid up
That's why I filed for divorce
So tired of your shit
Haiku # 68833, November 19, 2020 2:06 am ET
by Pissed of Off
there is a bottom
he's the man-child at the top
a great orange arse
Haiku # 68832, November 18, 2020 11:57 pm ET
by ash of republican reviews
So you guys are worried about the next face that our problems is going to disguise itself as rather than the problems themselves.

Go out and buy guns.
That's the only solution.
You will thank me soon.

I know more than you.
Listen to the old-timers.
Can't keep their mouths shut.
Haiku # 68831, November 18, 2020 11:21 pm ET
by It's coming soon!
You ever wonder...
Do Eskimoes bang cave bears?
Hibernation rape.
Haiku # 68830, November 18, 2020 6:42 pm ET
by Saves on roofies. of You'll never watch Bernstein Bears or Bare Bears w/o thinking of me. In you it.
Hey look, could be worse.
What if I were president?
Call me Darth Nuke-em!

Reset the clock back
to the stone age and we'll all
use spears and stone tools.

And be mutated.
But that's like half the fun, yeah?
Check out my three schlongs.
Haiku # 68829, November 18, 2020 6:36 pm ET
by President Darth Whorendous of Vice President Pee Wee Herman
Flush that clogger down
Good riddance, foul orange clown
Joe's coming to town
Haiku # 68828, November 18, 2020 5:13 pm ET
by U. R. Evicted of Haiku Central
Are you on crack man?
C'mon man- you voted for Joe?
How damn dumb was that?
Haiku # 68827, November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
President Harris
Say it with me sad lofan....
President Harris

Inmate Donald tRump
Say it with me sad lofan
Inmate Donald tRump
Haiku # 68826, November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET
by Jesus loves me but not you
Sometimes I wonder
How dumb republicans are
There is no bottom
Haiku # 68825, November 18, 2020 2:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Magic man in sky
Will save us from the science
We don't understand
Haiku # 68824, November 18, 2020 2:39 pm ET
by Retarded christian
Seventy one million votes
For President Trump
Not one city destroyed

What does that tell you
Democrat destroyer dolts?
You won but- you lost.

In less than one year
Joe Bribe'um will give
The rule of America

To Komodo Harris
Then you will holler real loud
Damn! what have I done?!
Haiku # 68823, November 18, 2020 2:37 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The young Staruck's girl
With a fine outstanding body
and a lovely face

Was glad to see me
Until Gavin Guv. Gruesome
Shut down the seating.

The Bolshevik fop
makes rules for the poor Kulaks
at the French Laundry.

Democrat Bastard
typical hypocrite clown
like all of your clan.
Haiku # 68822, November 18, 2020 2:14 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Stop the steal? Really?
Bunch of whining deniers
More like stop the squeal
Haiku # 68821, November 18, 2020 11:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
One haiku, three lies.
Well done fascist footlocker
I hope you catch it.
Haiku # 68820, November 18, 2020 11:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Glorified chest cold.
Red Chinee lab-made virus:
Globalist's wet-dream.
Haiku # 68819, November 18, 2020 9:48 am ET
by Doctor Fauci of Self-Contradicting Nonsense
We are Covid Kids.
4 million strong, and growing.
That's active cases.
Haiku # 68818, November 18, 2020 7:26 am ET
by It's a conspiracy of piracy. of They done stole the vote!
You should not be here.
Please go get your Trump Won sign.
Join the protests now.
Haiku # 68817, November 17, 2020 11:08 pm ET
by MAGA-natism of Stop the Steal
Control the virus
Who will make all the dildos
if China goes down?

Let's measure it, Darth
Contraption from old shoe store
Feels good and accurate
Haiku # 68816, November 17, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by Holder of the slidey thing of On bended knees
I find it interesting how some states in the US have a lingering "active covid" cases and others seem to have "instant recovery".

The lack of consistent reporting of cases and inaccuracy of data leads to poor decision making for those in charge of handling the crisis.

My penis is a bit on the small size, but still I'd really like a blowjob after my morning coffee b/c I'm fresh out of guinea pigs to rape.

Will the virus mutate over the winter into a more lasting and dangerous strain? We can only pray that it will. Therefore the US will be vulnerable to military invasion and China will take over, ending the era of the "free world" and we will all be communists.

You can blame Donald Trump, but his penis is smaller than mine and that's why I voted for him. So it's okay.
Haiku # 68815, November 17, 2020 8:49 pm ET
by Well bugger me in a phone booth, if it isn't Clark Kent! of My kryptonite is cheese.
to be honest i
don't give a shit about that
guy on here's thingy

twitter is worse by a light year
Haiku # 68814, November 17, 2020 8:48 pm ET
by vhs of used to DW
Fig leaf malfunction
Garden of Eden tent pole
Now here comes the snake
Haiku # 68813, November 17, 2020 8:47 pm ET
by E. Vaporated of Condensed Canned Bibles
No, I have not pooped.
Next you'll say I'm full of shit.
A double meaning.

Either way, you're right.
My God, you are so clever.
How do you do that?
Haiku # 68812, November 17, 2020 8:18 pm ET
by dw
An overdue patch
Is better late than never
But oh, so, so late
Haiku # 68811, November 17, 2020 7:38 pm ET
by Adam
Say, Darth, my good man
It's kind of personal but
Did you poop today?
Haiku # 68810, November 17, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by #2 Curious of 2-ply world
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