With my pork pie hat
Cephalopod ink drip stains
Will my head explode?

Giulani's black sweat:
Soon there will be hell toupee.
The Rudy can't fail.

You should not be here.
Get your ass to church and pray.
Before it's too late.

time is running out
like rudy's hair colouring
but never say dye

Cruel TV dinner
Cake, Potatoes, gravy, corn
Not enough longpig

You should not do that.
At least not here in public.
Go in the bushes.

I am soooo sleepy.
Been up all night sucking dicks.
Better than haiku.

Oh well, dad needs rum.
Here's all my money, daddy.
And one last blow job.

Dried fish, rice, and sleep.
Get up and suck dicks again.
Hey, Darth, one fifty!

Look at that Beaver
The Rise and Fall of Peter Pond
Those aren't eels, they're dinks

Haiku shall triumph.
She shall sing a dirge for you
Over your remains.

I rip out your heart
And fling the beating organ
On haiku's altar.

To write about poo
Is a crime against haiku
Committed by you.

Take not the LORD'S name
Upon thy vile filthy lips,
Ye damned spawn of hell.

If God wrote Haikus
He'd write them all about youse
On old skool tablets

I have a new one:
Four more years with Donald Trump.
It's so . . . poetic.

What's with Bad Haiku?
Website won't let me post here.
Too many controls.

Some call it murder.
I chopped down the willow tree.
Sick of cry babies.

Suck poo off my balls.
Noticer didn't notice
reaper pepper seeds.

My diarrhea:
spicy testicular sauce
For you and your mom.

It puckers and snaps,
My red-hot angry anus,
to French kiss your tongue.

Darth's Fart Gallery
"When he has diarrhea
he's Jackson Pollock"

Note on toilet seat:
"Don't Flush! Getting tape measure.
It's a world record!"

Darth of the Three Dinks
I'll call you Triskelion
Where do you buy pants?

Jello Wrestling.
Biden and Trump butt-naked.
Live stream on PornHub.

You left the lid up
That's why I filed for divorce
So tired of your shit

there is a bottom
he's the man-child at the top
a great orange arse

So you guys are worried about the next face that our problems is going to disguise itself as rather than the problems themselves.

Go out and buy guns.
That's the only solution.
You will thank me soon.

I know more than you.
Listen to the old-timers.
Can't keep their mouths shut.

You ever wonder...
Do Eskimoes bang cave bears?
Hibernation rape.

Hey look, could be worse.
What if I were president?
Call me Darth Nuke-em!

Reset the clock back
to the stone age and we'll all
use spears and stone tools.

And be mutated.
But that's like half the fun, yeah?
Check out my three schlongs.

Flush that clogger down
Good riddance, foul orange clown
Joe's coming to town

Are you on crack man?
C'mon man- you voted for Joe?
How damn dumb was that?

President Harris
Say it with me sad lofan....
President Harris

Inmate Donald tRump
Say it with me sad lofan
Inmate Donald tRump

Sometimes I wonder
How dumb republicans are
There is no bottom

Magic man in sky
Will save us from the science
We don't understand

Seventy one million votes
For President Trump
Not one city destroyed

What does that tell you
Democrat destroyer dolts?
You won but- you lost.

In less than one year
Joe Bribe'um will give
The rule of America

To Komodo Harris
Then you will holler real loud
Damn! what have I done?!

The young Staruck's girl
With a fine outstanding body
and a lovely face

Was glad to see me
Until Gavin Guv. Gruesome
Shut down the seating.

The Bolshevik fop
makes rules for the poor Kulaks
at the French Laundry.

Democrat Bastard
typical hypocrite clown
like all of your clan.

Stop the steal? Really?
Bunch of whining deniers
More like stop the squeal

One haiku, three lies.
Well done fascist footlocker
I hope you catch it.

Glorified chest cold.
Red Chinee lab-made virus:
Globalist's wet-dream.

We are Covid Kids.
4 million strong, and growing.
That's active cases.

You should not be here.
Please go get your Trump Won sign.
Join the protests now.

Control the virus
Who will make all the dildos
if China goes down?

Let's measure it, Darth
Contraption from old shoe store
Feels good and accurate

I find it interesting how some states in the US have a lingering "active covid" cases and others seem to have "instant recovery".

The lack of consistent reporting of cases and inaccuracy of data leads to poor decision making for those in charge of handling the crisis.

My penis is a bit on the small size, but still I'd really like a blowjob after my morning coffee b/c I'm fresh out of guinea pigs to rape.

Will the virus mutate over the winter into a more lasting and dangerous strain? We can only pray that it will. Therefore the US will be vulnerable to military invasion and China will take over, ending the era of the "free world" and we will all be communists.

You can blame Donald Trump, but his penis is smaller than mine and that's why I voted for him. So it's okay.

to be honest i
don't give a shit about that
guy on here's thingy

twitter is worse by a light year

Fig leaf malfunction
Garden of Eden tent pole
Now here comes the snake

No, I have not pooped.
Next you'll say I'm full of shit.
A double meaning.

Either way, you're right.
My God, you are so clever.
How do you do that?

An overdue patch
Is better late than never
But oh, so, so late

Say, Darth, my good man
It's kind of personal but
Did you poop today?

There are good people
Since God created mankind.
(But not the Marxists)

I must write something.
I only have a minute.
Oh, shit, now it's gone.

Fish are assholes too
"I can breathe in the water!"
Arrogant fuckers

There aren't good people.
Since the first ape walked upright.
Since fish first breathed air.

torch that jazz lettuce
then suck like a hoover, but...
don't be a bogart