Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Oh you are so VILE.
Oh you horrible man, you.
Why, oh WHY must you?
Haiku # 67861 August 19, 2020 10:43 am ET
by Virgin Milkmaid of Sobbing in her Petticoats
here's to you missus
robinson, heaven holds a
place for those who spray
Haiku # 67860 August 19, 2020 9:46 am ET
by benjamin's boner
Mrs. Livingston
Courtship of Eddie's Father
Your penis Is green!
Haiku # 67859 August 19, 2020 8:39 am ET
by Jumper of Golden Gate Bridge
Vaseline in bulk
Now see what you made me do
Bend over, poets
Haiku # 67857 August 19, 2020 5:53 am ET
by Quivering Asshole of Back door
Nasal Relations
Deviated septum jizz
Go ahead and blow
Haiku # 67856 August 19, 2020 3:31 am ET
by Posh Puff of Behind binoculars (nosy)
I'll spank your monkey.
And you can choke my chicken.
Just like Darth Vader.

You have to wonder if Darth Vader ever force choked himself while masturbating. You know you'd do it too if you could use The Force.

Time for a massage.
Of course with all the extras.
I hope that she's tight.

I might bang her nose.
It's possible over here.
Covid lubricant.
Haiku # 67855 August 18, 2020 8:28 pm ET
by dw
Hey organ grinder
I'll show you my banana
Show me your monkey
Haiku # 67854 August 18, 2020 1:50 pm ET
by Jizzumberto of Italy
in this brave new world
narcotics are out of vogue
it hurts me to say
Haiku # 67853 August 18, 2020 9:41 am ET
by ash
What did the haiku say
to the gross limerick?
Le' me rick your barrs.

Of course that last line's
said with Japanese accent
while making squint eyes.
Haiku # 67852 August 18, 2020 9:34 am ET
by dw
Piss off the office.
Replace the coffee with tea.
It's way worse than pea.
Haiku # 67851 August 18, 2020 6:34 am ET
by It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Or in. of Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off.
Every coffee break
I pee in the office pot
I only drink tea
Haiku # 67850 August 17, 2020 10:30 pm ET
by Bev Ridge of LC
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Free XEvil Demo available.

See you later!
Haiku # 67849 August 17, 2020 7:20 pm ET
by NatashaDum7830 of Russia
It's now coffee time.
I'm not sure of the region.
Northern Philippines.

And got some fresh milk.
You say big fucking deal.
But you just don't know.

Back in a minute.
God, I'm such a coffee snob.
Christ that's fucking good.
Haiku # 67848 August 17, 2020 7:05 pm ET
by Sllurrrrppppp. Ahhhhhhhh. of Benguet coffee is amazing! But hard to find. Need to get some more of that one.
I bought a cat toy.
It was filled with crushed catnip.
I had to smoke it.

Still recovering.
Need to order more of those.
What strain of catnip?

Or some additive?
Something in it packs a punch.
It's "Made In China".

Ancient mushroom dust?
Dried up tiger testicles?
Likely agent orange.
Haiku # 67847 August 17, 2020 6:45 pm ET
by Hey, times are tough right now. of Cat wasn't interested anyway.
Sure I wanna fuck.
But certainly not with you!
Pigs are more charming.
Haiku # 67846 August 17, 2020 6:36 pm ET
by You've been turned down by Darth Whorendous of Join the Ugly Hall of Shame
Cat toy Yelp reviews
Synastry calculator
Hey, You wanna Fuck?
Haiku # 67845 August 17, 2020 6:03 pm ET
by Baked Apple (cold but theyâ of Kitchen
Old fishing village
Mount Fuji in the distance
Then your dink goes soft
Haiku # 67844 August 17, 2020 1:13 am ET
by Worm Puller of Worms 2 cents
Old fishing village;
Mount Fuji on horizon...
FREE Millie Weaver !
Haiku # 67843 August 16, 2020 7:37 pm ET
by Some Jap Poet of InfoWars
We are Flintstones kids
Ten million strong and growing
Weed in the attic
Haiku # 67842 August 16, 2020 4:29 pm ET
by Felix Toebeans of Porch glider
Just think what that's like.
You cannot reach your boner.
God can be so cruel.
Haiku # 67841 August 16, 2020 2:21 pm ET
by dw
If I were alive
back in the dinosaur times
I'd beat off T-rex.
Haiku # 67840 August 16, 2020 2:18 pm ET
by Want some egg drop soup? of Made it this morning.
Pteradactyl turds.
Quite painful when they hit you.
Fred knows what I mean.
Haiku # 67839 August 16, 2020 2:15 pm ET
by Vitamin Overdose of Glowing Pee Bathroom Light
Silly Putty dink
You do this every Sunday
Funny pages gone
Haiku # 67838 August 16, 2020 11:02 am ET
by Subscriber of Undisclosed
I am my own wife.
That needs flexibility.
Beyond Plastic Man.

Plastic man can stretch
his forskin so much that he
doesn't need condoms.
Haiku # 67837 August 16, 2020 2:44 am ET
by Talk about a money saver!
Do you think at all
About the wonderwall
Unfinished oasis haiku
Haiku # 67836 August 16, 2020 12:23 am ET
by Alexa what's my name again... of Shady Lane
Everything happens.
In a short amount of time.
It's American haiku.
Haiku # 67835 August 16, 2020 12:18 am ET
by notmychairnotmyproblem of Hell (Michigan) sans sartre
I am not your wife
But last time I sucked a cock
I swallowed his soul
Haiku # 67834 August 15, 2020 7:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you are my wife,
then show me your oral skills.
I don't mean speaking.

I'm no easy buy.
If you want me, prove your worth.
You are not worth it.
Haiku # 67833 August 15, 2020 9:56 am ET
by Or if you can beat me in a fart contest. of That would be impressive.
That old white magic:
That Trump Derangement Syndrome
(strange and liberal hate)
Haiku # 67832 August 14, 2020 1:37 pm ET
by Open-Minded Compassion of Progressive Hate
You are Darth's sad wife.
We are ALL Darth's poor, sad wife.
From now on: that's us.
Haiku # 67831 August 14, 2020 10:33 am ET
by Ich Bin Ein Berliner of Berlin
Barbara Bush's sore twat
Dank thin sliced tortoise meat flaps
A man's gotta eat
Haiku # 67829 August 13, 2020 6:44 pm ET
by Rob Graves of Undisclosed
Eating a tortoise
will not make you live longer.
That's unfortunate.

Eat LIKE a tortoise --
veggies, fruits, & stuff like that --
and then you just might.

But then you'll be gay.
For you to be a real man
you must eat some meat.

Hearts of enemies.
Fresh crocodile testes.
Grilled platypus brains.
Haiku # 67828 August 13, 2020 6:27 pm ET
by Trust me, I know!
Craving venison.
Or maybe some fresh bison.
Don't even cook it.
Haiku # 67827 August 13, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by Wolf boy bloody chin. of That time of the month.
You ever wake up
and think, I'll destroy my kids'
lives today? She did.
Haiku # 67826 August 13, 2020 5:38 pm ET
by Whores should not be moms. of Moms should not be whores.
All those that eat pork
have widened piggy noses
and smell like pigs too.

And big fat rednecks
eat mountains of beef products.
You are what you eat.

So eat some pussy
and you'll become a poet.
I'm right, Chewy Chew!

Filthy Goddamn whores.
Every Goddamn one of them.
Just like DaVinci.

Attention seekers.
"Repent TikTok-Man!" said the
Joker's Harlequin.
Haiku # 67825 August 13, 2020 5:25 pm ET
by Allahu Akbar! Oy vay already! of hmmm... I've never tried wild boar. Maybe it's okay.
it isn't all bad.
there's macaroni and cheese
and...that's all i got
Haiku # 67824 August 13, 2020 4:04 pm ET
by scotch of it's good though
Loaded 22
Dildo over the barrel
You talking to me?
Haiku # 67823 August 13, 2020 2:49 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku # 67822 August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku # 67821 August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
They are such fat pigs.
They don't even look human.
Overdosed on pork.
Haiku # 67819 August 13, 2020 6:04 am ET
by DW of Divorce attorney's office.
Just one more tonight:
One more prolonged death-spasm.
Terminal haiku.
Haiku # 67818 August 12, 2020 10:45 pm ET
by Flatlined Line of Lines
Dirty fingernails
Eureka! More syllables
Rectal spelunking
Haiku # 67817 August 12, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by Ben A. Miner of Hollywood/Redwood
Scratch where it itches.
Mine the poetic riches.
Top THIS one, bitches. . . .
Haiku # 67816 August 12, 2020 7:15 pm ET
by Line of Lines
shackled to my desk
forced to endure this cruel fate:
my boss's humming
Haiku # 67815 August 12, 2020 1:29 pm ET
by Office Guy of Close to Suicide
Hey, pull my finger
Try aromatherapy
The smell of a fart
Haiku # 67814 August 12, 2020 8:25 am ET
by Fart Knower of Undisclosed
100 pushups.
And I mean without stopping.
Come on you pussies!
Haiku # 67813 August 11, 2020 10:55 pm ET
by DW of Drill Sergeant Wannabe
Christopher Walken.
That's my choice for president.
Fuck those other guys.
Haiku # 67812 August 11, 2020 10:52 pm ET
by Hidden watches
If you see my ex,
please try to give her covid.
Maybe ebola.
Haiku # 67811 August 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET
by DW
Alligator gar
This fishing expedition
made me shit my pants
Haiku # 67810 August 11, 2020 10:27 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
OH you are so vile.
You have just ruined it all.
Please leave me alone.
Haiku # 67809 August 11, 2020 9:46 pm ET
by Distraught Female of Sobbing Hysterically in Haiku
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