BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66190 Haikus
later...
Indelible ink
That old cephalopod porn
Inedible dink
Haiku #65777, by Old reliable
September 4, 2019 6:18 pm ET

Now you're talking Darth.
That WOULD be a little show
(Checking bus schedule )
Haiku #65776, by Ben E. Fitz of Public transportation
September 4, 2019 6:16 pm ET

Sprayed lighter fluid
up my urethra to be
Captain Flamethrower.

It fucking well works!
Wasted seven cockroaches
with my deadly cock.
Haiku #65775, by Say, why aren't there cuntroaches?
September 4, 2019 6:13 pm ET

Wow! What a small world.
Did you like my little show?
Next time without pants.
Haiku #65774, by df
September 4, 2019 6:03 pm ET


Rode the bus today
Goofy passenger stood up
Farted and shat self
Haiku #65773, by Passenger of Waiting for another bus now
September 4, 2019 4:09 pm ET

Fart binoculars
Magnify the smell and sound
Of any cut fart
Haiku #65772, by Silencio of Butt end
September 4, 2019 3:57 pm ET

13 th Commandment
Thou shalt not deliver mail
To your neighbor's slot
Haiku #65771, by Postmaster of Gone Postal
September 4, 2019 1:59 pm ET

We all have a chance
To write meaningful haiku
In ink, blood or spooj
Haiku #65770, by Poetry Robot of I wrote mine in grease
September 4, 2019 1:56 pm ET

Fuck counting.
That's what Excel is for.
Ejaculate your creativity!
Right into your neighbor's mail slot.
Tell the police it's the ink with which your write fine poetry. Offer to write them a poem to give to their wives or girlfriends. Tell them it's the Divine Word of God. Enjoy your vacation.
Haiku #65769, by Donald Trump's 2nd Favorite Hairpiece. of That's Hairpiece, not Herpes.
September 4, 2019 1:06 pm ET

I only did #65756 to #65762.
Oh, shit that was more than five syllables.
Eat my man cunt!
Haiku #65768, by df
September 4, 2019 12:57 pm ET

Five of those poems
Are the work of Figpucker
Two by starkitten
Haiku #65767, by Haiku accounting dept of Office
September 4, 2019 10:36 am ET

Last seven haikus
Were not abominable...
just very boring
Haiku #65766, by Chairman Moo of Vacaville
September 4, 2019 9:34 am ET

Dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink
Haiku #65765, by Sausage dink of Dink rink
September 4, 2019 4:03 am ET

Faint sound of popping
Butter at room temperature
Preferred lubricant
Haiku #65764, by Orville
September 4, 2019 4:01 am ET

Picked from the lineup
Sick, enormous ear of corn
with a cornrection
Haiku #65763, by Orville Redenbacher of Corn hole
September 4, 2019 3:38 am ET

If you have a stroke
while having a heart attack,
would you masturbate?
Haiku #65762, by
September 4, 2019 2:05 am ET

God does not love you.
But then neither does Satan.
I guess you're just fucked.
Haiku #65761, by
September 4, 2019 2:03 am ET

Shit she's just fourteen.
I am such an old pervert.
Fifty bucks?! Too much.
Haiku #65760, by
September 4, 2019 1:16 am ET

Her tits are quite small.
But at least she is not fat.
How much will she charge?
Haiku #65759, by
September 4, 2019 1:14 am ET

Bad haiku dot com.
Mirrors facing each other.
No one else can see.
Haiku #65758, by And that's a good thing!
September 4, 2019 1:12 am ET

Your poems are bad.
When I read them I get sad.
And that makes me mad.
Haiku #65757, by
September 4, 2019 1:11 am ET

Rinky-dink dink stink.
Think pink wink ink blink sink skink.
Brink link mink rat-fink.
Haiku #65756, by
September 4, 2019 1:10 am ET

Enormous toaster
Each slot contains a human
Breakfast at God's place
Haiku #65755, by Yummly
September 4, 2019 12:42 am ET

ET's shriveled dink
Bicycle seat still moist
Up up and away
Haiku #65754, by Douchebag of Under old willow
September 4, 2019 12:38 am ET

What's the nastiest
thing you have put in your mouth?
Cooked pig testicles?
Haiku #65753, by
September 4, 2019 12:01 am ET

Jar Jar Binks' asshole.
Google image search for it.
Jacked off seven times.
Haiku #65752, by Jello Pudding Pops of Roofie flavored.
September 3, 2019 11:53 pm ET

After anal sex
Cuntfart farted a fetus.
It tried to eat us.

Figpucker cooked it.
Then fucked and sucked and ate it.
Pics are on Facebook.
Haiku #65751, by You nasty fuckers, you.
September 3, 2019 9:32 pm ET

Wait, those aren't poets!
They're just globs of cancer meat.
Whew! What a close one!

Cancer writes haiku.
Literary scholars swoon.
Best poem award.

Cryogenic sperm
Left on table Arby's.
Used for Horsey Sauce.

And wouldn't you know,
now the roast beef is pregnant.
Looks just like a cunt.
Haiku #65750, by Well, your mom's anyway.
September 3, 2019 9:28 pm ET

Caddyshack beaver
Maybe it was a groundhog
Well, Darth would fuck it
Haiku #65749, by Gopher of Nineteenth green
September 3, 2019 9:21 pm ET

Vaginal pus sacs
release mold spores in the air.
Be still; breathe deeply.

Your lung becomes cunt.
Vomit conjoined headless twins.
Figpucker / Cuntfart.

Consequences of
sucking cock at library.
Booze & haikus ooze.

Impregnated lung
births deformed haiku poets
into the toilet.
Haiku #65748, by Flush of Oh no, it's clogged!
September 3, 2019 9:17 pm ET

Chicom's rule China
Enslave billions of people
Now they want the world

Hongkies can see it
They do not want to be slaves
Fight like the devil

But sad- they will lose!
Hunted down and killed
By Communist thugs..
Haiku #65747, by Baton Urgern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
September 3, 2019 9:14 pm ET

Fart decibel limit
Maximum pubic hair growth
I don't follow rules
Haiku #65746, by Rule Breaker
September 3, 2019 8:41 pm ET

Unrest in Hong Kong
started by one bad Haiku.
See how trouble grows
Haiku #65745, by Gang of Four-Star Restaurant
September 3, 2019 8:18 pm ET

Those who won't submit
to syllabic rule of verse
shall face the armed State
Haiku #65744, by Law of Order
September 3, 2019 8:15 pm ET

The sky god is also named Zhang!
Why does he make life hard for me!?
If it doesn't rain in three days
I'll demolish your GD temple!
Then I'll have cannons blast your mom!
Haiku #65743, by Zhang Zong Chang of Western Paradise
September 3, 2019 5:50 am ET

T: "Why on earth would you call me a pig-fucker, Phillip?"
P: "Well, let's see... first of all, you fuck pigs."
T: "... Oh yeah."
Haiku #65742, by
September 3, 2019 1:41 am ET

Is that Jimmy Dean?
Spicy sausage breakfast dink.
A rinky-dink dink.

Minuscule morsel.
Ghost pepper lubrication.
Has it shriveled up?
Haiku #65741, by
September 3, 2019 1:36 am ET

Bipedal bovoid
Is knocking on your front door
Selling thesauri
Haiku #65740, by Fesh of Glom
September 2, 2019 11:26 pm ET

Point your pretty hooves
To the ceiling and don't stop
Dancing until it
Haiku #65739, by Fesh of Glom
September 2, 2019 11:22 pm ET

Giant ear of corn
Just tapping on your window
Until 3 AM
Haiku #65738, by Fesh of Glom
September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET

When you download pork
And you have too much to do
Pigfuckeration
Haiku #65737, by Sausage dink of Under old willow
September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET

When you download porn
and have too much work to do:
Promasturnation.
Haiku #65736, by df
September 2, 2019 11:03 pm ET

Nacho cheese in cans.
You too can be immortal.
Infinite shelf life.
Haiku #65735, by
September 2, 2019 10:50 pm ET

Fifty gallon drum
I wonder what is inside
Why is it leaking?
Haiku #65734, by Trudging along of Undisclosed
September 2, 2019 5:03 pm ET

Axe zip ties bleach saw
Duct tape hammer shovel knife
Rope face mask ear plugs
Haiku #65733, by Undisclosed of Undisclosed
September 2, 2019 3:22 pm ET

Only 3 per cent
Of birds still have penises
Emus have big dinks
Haiku #65732, by Walkin Funny of Bird watching
September 2, 2019 11:43 am ET

Tiny bird schmekle
Descended from dinosaurs
Can't fly with big dinks
Haiku #65731, by God is sensible of And so awesome.
September 2, 2019 11:37 am ET

Gun gun gun gun gun
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
Death death death death dearh
Haiku #65730, by Second amendment retard
September 2, 2019 11:17 am ET

Worse than ceiling cat
Spied on by my headless twin
No damn privacy
Haiku #65729, by Other twin of With fully formed head
September 2, 2019 8:57 am ET

When you kiss a frog
A handsome Prince will appear
Who wants to go first?
Haiku #65728, by Tad Pole of Frog Pond
September 2, 2019 12:56 am ET