Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Wait, those aren't poets!
They're just globs of cancer meat.
Whew! What a close one!

Cancer writes haiku.
Literary scholars swoon.
Best poem award.

Cryogenic sperm
Left on table Arby's.
Used for Horsey Sauce.

And wouldn't you know,
now the roast beef is pregnant.
Looks just like a cunt.
Haiku # 65750, September 3, 2019 9:28 pm ET
by Well, your mom's anyway.
Caddyshack beaver
Maybe it was a groundhog
Well, Darth would fuck it
Haiku # 65749, September 3, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Gopher of Nineteenth green
Vaginal pus sacs
release mold spores in the air.
Be still; breathe deeply.

Your lung becomes cunt.
Vomit conjoined headless twins.
Figpucker / Cuntfart.

Consequences of
sucking cock at library.
Booze & haikus ooze.

Impregnated lung
births deformed haiku poets
into the toilet.
Haiku # 65748, September 3, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by Flush of Oh no, it's clogged!
Chicom's rule China
Enslave billions of people
Now they want the world

Hongkies can see it
They do not want to be slaves
Fight like the devil

But sad- they will lose!
Hunted down and killed
By Communist thugs..
Haiku # 65747, September 3, 2019 9:14 pm ET
by Baton Urgern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
Fart decibel limit
Maximum pubic hair growth
I don't follow rules
Haiku # 65746, September 3, 2019 8:41 pm ET
by Rule Breaker
Unrest in Hong Kong
started by one bad Haiku.
See how trouble grows
Haiku # 65745, September 3, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by Gang of Four-Star Restaurant
Those who won't submit
to syllabic rule of verse
shall face the armed State
Haiku # 65744, September 3, 2019 8:15 pm ET
by Law of Order
The sky god is also named Zhang!
Why does he make life hard for me!?
If it doesn't rain in three days
I'll demolish your GD temple!
Then I'll have cannons blast your mom!
Haiku # 65743, September 3, 2019 5:50 am ET
by Zhang Zong Chang of Western Paradise
T: "Why on earth would you call me a pig-fucker, Phillip?"
P: "Well, let's see... first of all, you fuck pigs."
T: "... Oh yeah."
Haiku # 65742, September 3, 2019 1:41 am ET
by
Is that Jimmy Dean?
Spicy sausage breakfast dink.
A rinky-dink dink.

Minuscule morsel.
Ghost pepper lubrication.
Has it shriveled up?
Haiku # 65741, September 3, 2019 1:36 am ET
by
Bipedal bovoid
Is knocking on your front door
Selling thesauri
Haiku # 65740, September 2, 2019 11:26 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Point your pretty hooves
To the ceiling and don't stop
Dancing until it
Haiku # 65739, September 2, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Giant ear of corn
Just tapping on your window
Until 3 AM
Haiku # 65738, September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
When you download pork
And you have too much to do
Pigfuckeration
Haiku # 65737, September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Under old willow
When you download porn
and have too much work to do:
Promasturnation.
Haiku # 65736, September 2, 2019 11:03 pm ET
by df
Nacho cheese in cans.
You too can be immortal.
Infinite shelf life.
Haiku # 65735, September 2, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by
Fifty gallon drum
I wonder what is inside
Why is it leaking?
Haiku # 65734, September 2, 2019 5:03 pm ET
by Trudging along of Undisclosed
Axe zip ties bleach saw
Duct tape hammer shovel knife
Rope face mask ear plugs
Haiku # 65733, September 2, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Undisclosed of Undisclosed
Only 3 per cent
Of birds still have penises
Emus have big dinks
Haiku # 65732, September 2, 2019 11:43 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Bird watching
Tiny bird schmekle
Descended from dinosaurs
Can't fly with big dinks
Haiku # 65731, September 2, 2019 11:37 am ET
by God is sensible of And so awesome.
Gun gun gun gun gun
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
Death death death death dearh
Haiku # 65730, September 2, 2019 11:17 am ET
by Second amendment retard
Worse than ceiling cat
Spied on by my headless twin
No damn privacy
Haiku # 65729, September 2, 2019 8:57 am ET
by Other twin of With fully formed head
When you kiss a frog
A handsome Prince will appear
Who wants to go first?
Haiku # 65728, September 2, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Tad Pole of Frog Pond

Private Property
No Trespassing. KEEP OUT
No Soliciting
Haiku # 65727, September 1, 2019 11:02 pm ET
by This means You
Deboning the trout
Both hands tied behind your back
Are you an otter?
Haiku # 65726, September 1, 2019 9:52 pm ET
by Trudging along of Figpucker Island
Hairy frog and I
But wait, it isn't a frog
My penis has warts
Haiku # 65725, September 1, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Riddip of Lily pad
I'm the headless twin!
Did you just ASSUME my head?!
That's so UN-PC!
Haiku # 65724, September 1, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by df
MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!
Haiku # 65723, September 1, 2019 8:57 pm ET
by Fom of Gesh
Somehow I picture
Marilyn Manson smoking
the Royal Feces.
Haiku # 65722, September 1, 2019 8:57 pm ET
by df
I read it somewhere
That Queen Elizabeth's poop
Has to be burned up
Haiku # 65721, September 1, 2019 7:17 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
I AM A BANANA
Haiku # 65720, September 1, 2019 1:09 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Rat a tat tat peck
Peck peck rat a tat tat
Shut up woodpecker!
Haiku # 65719, September 1, 2019 10:36 am ET
by Ann Noyed
Hey Darth Figpucker
Does your conjoined headless twin
Write these bad poems?
Haiku # 65718, September 1, 2019 2:45 am ET
by Poet of Know it
Grandpa got confused
When he went to milk the cows
He jerked off instead
Haiku # 65717, September 1, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Don't drink the milk of It's spoiled
They just start out raw
Cooking brings out the flavor
Stop jerking off please!
Haiku # 65716, September 1, 2019 2:26 am ET
by Chef of Miami Spooj
With so much bad food
there's no choice but eat people.
Either that or rats.
Haiku # 65715, September 1, 2019 1:52 am ET
by Now that I think about it, the rats are cleaner.
If they are STEWING,
how on earth can they be RAW?
... Shit, now I'm hungry.
Haiku # 65714, September 1, 2019 1:47 am ET
by Guess no diet today, damnitall.
Echolocation
We have tracked your flatulence
You're bat shit crazy!
Haiku # 65713, September 1, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Fart Knower of In the vicinity
Raw human beings
Stewing in their own juices
Figpucker Island
Haiku # 65712, September 1, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Chamber of Commerce of Figpucker Island
Barbershop quartet
Four fart flatus harmony
Not a mass shooting
Haiku # 65711, August 31, 2019 11:07 pm ET
by Gassy Jack of Loading up on beans
Halfway through the sand
Why did they bury me here?
The sun is sinking
Haiku # 65710, August 31, 2019 10:43 pm ET
by A. Bandoned of With a submerged boner
Hospitality
Found between the open legs
Of a gorilla
Haiku # 65709, August 31, 2019 10:40 pm ET
by Gorilla fancier of In the mist
Co-op-era-tion.
Yip yip yip yip yip, uh huh.
Yip yip yip yip yip.
Haiku # 65708, August 31, 2019 10:12 pm ET
by Marshun
Yip scram fram glom bom
Merple dormy hramp mong bip
Strabble grok strop frop
Haiku # 65707, August 31, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Flerma scrom tizda
Hepta glom scrag hlang mangmang
Fesh fesh groo jung yoo
Haiku # 65706, August 31, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
They who masturbate
whilst contemplating livestock
are my soul brethren.
Haiku # 65705, August 31, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate
I plowed Buzz Lightyear
One more off the bucket list
Next up is Woody
Haiku # 65704, August 31, 2019 8:00 pm ET
by BHTizzie
I think I know him!
Does your brother ride a horse?
--Your, Ichabod Crane
Haiku # 65703, August 31, 2019 7:50 pm ET
by
Two beers, rum & Coke,
and a tall Bloody Mary.
My head is fuzzy.

Now I need coffee.
What a horrible junkie.
Freebasing caffeine.
Haiku # 65702, August 31, 2019 7:30 pm ET
by Freebase caffeine is not just an urban legend. It will fuck you up.
Well fuck me running!
That's a goddamn good poem.
I think I'll jack off.
Haiku # 65701, August 31, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by df of twin w/ head, you are awesome!
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