Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

T: "Why on earth would you call me a pig-fucker, Phillip?"
P: "Well, let's see... first of all, you fuck pigs."
T: "... Oh yeah."
Haiku # 65742, September 3, 2019 1:41 am ET
by
Is that Jimmy Dean?
Spicy sausage breakfast dink.
A rinky-dink dink.

Minuscule morsel.
Ghost pepper lubrication.
Has it shriveled up?
Haiku # 65741, September 3, 2019 1:36 am ET
by
Bipedal bovoid
Is knocking on your front door
Selling thesauri
Haiku # 65740, September 2, 2019 11:26 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Point your pretty hooves
To the ceiling and don't stop
Dancing until it
Haiku # 65739, September 2, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Giant ear of corn
Just tapping on your window
Until 3 AM
Haiku # 65738, September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
When you download pork
And you have too much to do
Pigfuckeration
Haiku # 65737, September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Under old willow
When you download porn
and have too much work to do:
Promasturnation.
Haiku # 65736, September 2, 2019 11:03 pm ET
by df
Nacho cheese in cans.
You too can be immortal.
Infinite shelf life.
Haiku # 65735, September 2, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by
Fifty gallon drum
I wonder what is inside
Why is it leaking?
Haiku # 65734, September 2, 2019 5:03 pm ET
by Trudging along of Undisclosed
Axe zip ties bleach saw
Duct tape hammer shovel knife
Rope face mask ear plugs
Haiku # 65733, September 2, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Undisclosed of Undisclosed
Only 3 per cent
Of birds still have penises
Emus have big dinks
Haiku # 65732, September 2, 2019 11:43 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Bird watching
Tiny bird schmekle
Descended from dinosaurs
Can't fly with big dinks
Haiku # 65731, September 2, 2019 11:37 am ET
by God is sensible of And so awesome.
Gun gun gun gun gun
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
Death death death death dearh
Haiku # 65730, September 2, 2019 11:17 am ET
by Second amendment retard
Worse than ceiling cat
Spied on by my headless twin
No damn privacy
Haiku # 65729, September 2, 2019 8:57 am ET
by Other twin of With fully formed head
When you kiss a frog
A handsome Prince will appear
Who wants to go first?
Haiku # 65728, September 2, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Tad Pole of Frog Pond

Private Property
No Trespassing. KEEP OUT
No Soliciting
Haiku # 65727, September 1, 2019 11:02 pm ET
by This means You
Deboning the trout
Both hands tied behind your back
Are you an otter?
Haiku # 65726, September 1, 2019 9:52 pm ET
by Trudging along of Figpucker Island
Hairy frog and I
But wait, it isn't a frog
My penis has warts
Haiku # 65725, September 1, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Riddip of Lily pad
I'm the headless twin!
Did you just ASSUME my head?!
That's so UN-PC!
Haiku # 65724, September 1, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by df
MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!
Haiku # 65723, September 1, 2019 8:57 pm ET
by Fom of Gesh
Somehow I picture
Marilyn Manson smoking
the Royal Feces.
Haiku # 65722, September 1, 2019 8:57 pm ET
by df
I read it somewhere
That Queen Elizabeth's poop
Has to be burned up
Haiku # 65721, September 1, 2019 7:17 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
I AM A BANANA
Haiku # 65720, September 1, 2019 1:09 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Rat a tat tat peck
Peck peck rat a tat tat
Shut up woodpecker!
Haiku # 65719, September 1, 2019 10:36 am ET
by Ann Noyed
Hey Darth Figpucker
Does your conjoined headless twin
Write these bad poems?
Haiku # 65718, September 1, 2019 2:45 am ET
by Poet of Know it
Grandpa got confused
When he went to milk the cows
He jerked off instead
Haiku # 65717, September 1, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Don't drink the milk of It's spoiled
They just start out raw
Cooking brings out the flavor
Stop jerking off please!
Haiku # 65716, September 1, 2019 2:26 am ET
by Chef of Miami Spooj
With so much bad food
there's no choice but eat people.
Either that or rats.
Haiku # 65715, September 1, 2019 1:52 am ET
by Now that I think about it, the rats are cleaner.
If they are STEWING,
how on earth can they be RAW?
... Shit, now I'm hungry.
Haiku # 65714, September 1, 2019 1:47 am ET
by Guess no diet today, damnitall.
Echolocation
We have tracked your flatulence
You're bat shit crazy!
Haiku # 65713, September 1, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Fart Knower of In the vicinity
Raw human beings
Stewing in their own juices
Figpucker Island
Haiku # 65712, September 1, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Chamber of Commerce of Figpucker Island
Barbershop quartet
Four fart flatus harmony
Not a mass shooting
Haiku # 65711, August 31, 2019 11:07 pm ET
by Gassy Jack of Loading up on beans
Halfway through the sand
Why did they bury me here?
The sun is sinking
Haiku # 65710, August 31, 2019 10:43 pm ET
by A. Bandoned of With a submerged boner
Hospitality
Found between the open legs
Of a gorilla
Haiku # 65709, August 31, 2019 10:40 pm ET
by Gorilla fancier of In the mist
Co-op-era-tion.
Yip yip yip yip yip, uh huh.
Yip yip yip yip yip.
Haiku # 65708, August 31, 2019 10:12 pm ET
by Marshun
Yip scram fram glom bom
Merple dormy hramp mong bip
Strabble grok strop frop
Haiku # 65707, August 31, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Flerma scrom tizda
Hepta glom scrag hlang mangmang
Fesh fesh groo jung yoo
Haiku # 65706, August 31, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
They who masturbate
whilst contemplating livestock
are my soul brethren.
Haiku # 65705, August 31, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate
I plowed Buzz Lightyear
One more off the bucket list
Next up is Woody
Haiku # 65704, August 31, 2019 8:00 pm ET
by BHTizzie
I think I know him!
Does your brother ride a horse?
--Your, Ichabod Crane
Haiku # 65703, August 31, 2019 7:50 pm ET
by
Two beers, rum & Coke,
and a tall Bloody Mary.
My head is fuzzy.

Now I need coffee.
What a horrible junkie.
Freebasing caffeine.
Haiku # 65702, August 31, 2019 7:30 pm ET
by Freebase caffeine is not just an urban legend. It will fuck you up.
Well fuck me running!
That's a goddamn good poem.
I think I'll jack off.
Haiku # 65701, August 31, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by df of twin w/ head, you are awesome!
Conjoined headless twin
Mother always liked you best
Life is so unfair
Haiku # 65700, August 31, 2019 4:49 pm ET
by Other twin of With fully formed head
the world keeps turning
even if i'm still asleep
the planet isn't
Haiku # 65699, August 31, 2019 10:23 am ET
by ash
Ignite your poem.
Might singe the hairs on your taint.
Goes out with a bang.

Then by that regards
cows are the world's best poets.
Hungry for burgers?
Haiku # 65698, August 30, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Invisible Literature
I wrote a poem
But instead of using words
I used methane gas
Haiku # 65697, August 30, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by Hairy Asshole of Chair
It wasn't special.
Not very big and brownish.
The pic's on Facebook.
Haiku # 65696, August 30, 2019 5:52 pm ET
by
I'll go take a dump.
Then I'll tell you about it.
Get comfortable.
Haiku # 65695, August 30, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by
One voice is my ass.
Listen to words of wisdom.
Parooooot-a-toot-toot.
Haiku # 65694, August 30, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by That is pure truth!
The best voice ever
Belongs to Jeanine Piero
White nationalist
Haiku # 65693, August 30, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by VHS's pappy
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