the world keeps turning
even if i'm still asleep
the planet isn't

Ignite your poem.
Might singe the hairs on your taint.
Goes out with a bang.

Then by that regards
cows are the world's best poets.
Hungry for burgers?

I wrote a poem
But instead of using words
I used methane gas

It wasn't special.
Not very big and brownish.
The pic's on Facebook.

I'll go take a dump.
Then I'll tell you about it.
Get comfortable.

One voice is my ass.
Listen to words of wisdom.
Parooooot-a-toot-toot.

The best voice ever
Belongs to Jeanine Piero
White nationalist

One voice is reason.
One voice stinks of excrement.
Choose well which is which.

Hey Beto O'Dork
You got a haircut wow cool!
On TV good job!

And you ride skate boards!
Excellent qualifiers !
for useful idiot!

Igniting flatus.
Do you have the balls to try?
Careful! Don't burn them!

Written on the wind
Timeless, smelly brown smudges
Nose poems. Breathe Deep

I almost read it
Form of written flatulence
Your signature verse

I have used corn starch
For rear end irritation
And making gravy

Ever fuck Jello
while you are high on corn starch?
Then you haven't lived.

Participation
Masturbation requires some
But you're too lazy

Ever snort corn starch?
Have you ever fucked Jello?
It's never too late

I done got fucked up.
Butt-chugged me some paint thinner.
My farts smell like pine.

Everybody knows
Elevators take more time
With a Fart on-board

Just enjoyed primo
carabao capuccino.
Urge to roll in mud.

A gay poet wrote
on worms in his urethra;
he'd let them crawl in.

You said nightcrawlers.
I thought maybe you know him.
Hey, you could swap worms.

A new gay sex thing.
And you get to tell your friends,
you heard it here first.

Capitalists blow
the whore the Lard Jesus Christ
and spit on themselves.

Communists will bow
Before the Lord Jesus Christ
in spite of themselves.

First dumb them all down
With organized religion
Then sell salvation

Can't go to Poland !
Might need to nuke Hurricane !
Nuke the storm BIGLY

Pulling nightcrawlers
You get worm juice on your hands
But it washes off

Chief Lizzy War-on
The fake Cherokee jive azz
Scarfs down pow wow chow.

And barfs up bull chit
Neo- Communist jive talk
pinko kids love it!

Honshu Gate of Farts
Smelly tourist attraction
Gate of many stains

Got bars like rapper
Hit them hard like a napper
If I only wake up

You won't find that here
Don't even bother looking
Try looking elsewhere

First dumb them all down
through public education.
Then, sell Socialism

Politburo clown
Retro-Leninist nutcase
Bad-hair spitflinger

Very very big
Very very very big
Bigly hurricane

Psychiatric help
Available on this site
We meet all your needs

Bernie the Dino-sour
Washed up old Bolshevik
Punched by a speed bag.

That's funny as hell
The old Commie is not quick!
In mind or body!

I want to get high.
I want to get high, so high.
I want to get high.

i am nyarlathotep

Furries Convention
I like to wear my costume
Until it rots off

Nobody noticed
My poem went unnoticed
Nobody noticed

I have a penis.
It used to belong to John.
But now it is mine.

Overheard just now:
"Prove you are not a robot!"
Unzipping my pants

Seems like yesterday
When I tackled the mailman
Nude bath salts bear hug

Construction Bromance
Beef burrito picnic lunch
This one is on me

Sneaking in the house
Wife holding cast iron pan
All I remember

It won't be long now
Handing out paper towels
To Puerto Ricans

Which do you prefer,
yellow corn chips or blue ones?
I kind of like blue.

These are not poems.
Do not confuse them with art.
Small doses of hate.

Easy Bake Oven
Longpig in miniature
Anyone seen Ken?

Somewhat off topic
The poetry found on here
Is it poetry?

Cashed another check
Turning poems into cash
Ask me how today!

Barney the Dinosaur is not a false god.
He's the real fucking deal.