Sneaking in the house
Wife holding cast iron pan
All I remember

It won't be long now
Handing out paper towels
To Puerto Ricans

Which do you prefer,
yellow corn chips or blue ones?
I kind of like blue.

These are not poems.
Do not confuse them with art.
Small doses of hate.

Easy Bake Oven
Longpig in miniature
Anyone seen Ken?

Somewhat off topic
The poetry found on here
Is it poetry?

Cashed another check
Turning poems into cash
Ask me how today!

Barney the Dinosaur is not a false god.
He's the real fucking deal.

Go to The Church at 4:30 a.m.
Yell obscenities at the church bells until they stop.
Tell the police you're possessed and need to see a priest.
They will believe you, but only after you bribe them,
the filthy cunts.

Raise that false flag high:
Propaganda of the Deed
will make things clearer.

Pure Socialism.
It's as inevitable
as Jesus' return.

Yes Comrade. That's right.
Or rather let's say "That's Left".
Pol Pot is laughing.

No need to worry
About Trump he is-the last
American Prez.

Don't fret young Comrades!
Your Bolshevik way will win!
Trump is the last gasp

Of American
Freedom and rule of law
You will win for sure!

Socialist rule comes!
you stupid SOB'S!
And hell comes with it...

The coin of the realm
Shatner rear change dispenser
On every corner

Bosley's sagging balls
They had seen happier days
But returned to dust

Bowling bag mix up
Mike just bowled a perfect game
With a severed head

Arnold's rock hard abs
Katy Perry's sexy boobies
Tom Bosley's penis

Nyarlathothep,
Great lurker on the threshold,
Receive this haiku.

One more quick haiku
Just to bless your silly soul
That's headed to hell.

Oh no climate change
Oh dear oh no let's PANIC.
And then go shopping.

i hate to think of
that poor plastic flamingo
stuck up your own ass.

Next time I see you
Bent over in your garden
Gonna kick your ass

My best pick up line:
Yo bitch, let's swap STDs
in the men's bathroom.

Your local K-Mart
Missing several garden gnomes
Dude, they're on to you

Suppose you think that
Midget porn in the background
Has gone unnoticed

you fucking fool thats
what im jerking off to you are
getting off to, not me

You're doing it wrong
Sit down to write poetry
But take off your pants

i feel i suck as
a poet on here, i should
go to filmmaking

Popcorn avalanche
Movie seat blow job surprise
Butter glistening

Darth's pick up line :
"Come over to the men's room
Take a look at this"

Oh Greta, Greta...
you soul-dead automaton;
climate change my ass.

I think I'll get AIDS.
And give it to the fat wife.
Then she'll lose some weight.

love the taste of tea
Drink the savory ol tea
fantastic pussy

I've about had it.
To the point of going nuts.
I hate parasites.

Rats, mosquitoes, ants,
fleas, lice, flies, the fat-assed wife
and all the in-laws.

Spindly little legs
might look cute on teenage girls.
On mosquitoes, no.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaymen!

It would be better
If Jesus was the Fonz
Aaaaaaay Aaaaay Aaaaaaay Aaaaaaay
Aaaaaaaaaay

God hates all poets.
Poetry is vanity.
Vanity is sin.

God does not love you.
In fact It says he hates you.
It is The Bible.

Told me to call him
Mr. Cunnilingusham
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!

Vader stroked my thigh
Then he punched me in the eye
Tom Bosley's penis

I lived in Naples
Meatballs big as your head
Served hot in my pants

"Let's get a cabin
Don't worry about lira"
Or any other junk"

Italian Girl Friend
In the seventies
Boobs like Sofia Loren

A rear end wiggle
So fine- has not left my mind
After 50 years

As the sun outshines
The stars, I the clown outshine
The other buffoons

Visit Italy
Crazy, greasy Italians
Stuffed in one big boot

We've got you covered
Haiku about poop and dinks
We meet all your needs

Unibrow honey
Unibrow up in my face
Unibrow hard on

Duckling duckling duck
Anas platyrhynchos duck
Badling brace flock raft

Congratulations !
3-D fecal ultrasound
Ma'am, you're having twins!