Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

One more quick haiku
Just to bless your silly soul
That's headed to hell.
Haiku # 65639, August 24, 2019 8:52 pm ET
by You were Doomed and Damned when you were Born
Oh no climate change
Oh dear oh no let's PANIC.
And then go shopping.
Haiku # 65638, August 24, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by Dysfunctional Earth Mother of Nature is Overrated
i hate to think of
that poor plastic flamingo
stuck up your own ass.
Haiku # 65637, August 24, 2019 7:09 pm ET
by vhs
Next time I see you
Bent over in your garden
Gonna kick your ass
Haiku # 65636, August 24, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Garden Gnome (boner) of Garden
My best pick up line:
Yo bitch, let's swap STDs
in the men's bathroom.
Haiku # 65635, August 24, 2019 7:31 am ET
by It's worked quite a few times.
Your local K-Mart
Missing several garden gnomes
Dude, they're on to you
Haiku # 65634, August 23, 2019 11:24 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Porch glider
Suppose you think that
Midget porn in the background
Has gone unnoticed
Haiku # 65633, August 23, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by Nosy neighbor of Behind binoculars
you fucking fool thats
what im jerking off to you are
getting off to, not me
Haiku # 65632, August 23, 2019 11:08 pm ET
by vhs
You're doing it wrong
Sit down to write poetry
But take off your pants
Haiku # 65631, August 23, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Turned on of Behind binoculars
i feel i suck as
a poet on here, i should
go to filmmaking
Haiku # 65630, August 23, 2019 10:35 pm ET
by vhs
Popcorn avalanche
Movie seat blow job surprise
Butter glistening
Haiku # 65629, August 23, 2019 10:10 pm ET
by Dinner and a Movie starkitten of On me
Darth's pick up line :
"Come over to the men's room
Take a look at this"
Haiku # 65628, August 23, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Porch glider
Oh Greta, Greta...
you soul-dead automaton;
climate change my ass.
Haiku # 65627, August 23, 2019 10:42 am ET
by TerraMar Foundation of Maxwell House Coffee
I think I'll get AIDS.
And give it to the fat wife.
Then she'll lose some weight.
Haiku # 65626, August 22, 2019 10:44 pm ET
by
love the taste of tea
Drink the savory ol tea
fantastic pussy
Haiku # 65625, August 22, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by Line of lines
I've about had it.
To the point of going nuts.
I hate parasites.

Rats, mosquitoes, ants,
fleas, lice, flies, the fat-assed wife
and all the in-laws.
Haiku # 65624, August 22, 2019 2:48 pm ET
by
Spindly little legs
might look cute on teenage girls.
On mosquitoes, no.
Haiku # 65623, August 22, 2019 2:43 pm ET
by
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaymen!
Haiku # 65622, August 22, 2019 2:18 pm ET
by Fonz of Jukebox
It would be better
If Jesus was the Fonz
Aaaaaaay Aaaaay Aaaaaaay Aaaaaaay
Aaaaaaaaaay
Haiku # 65621, August 22, 2019 2:15 pm ET
by Chachi's ball cheeze of Swinging
God hates all poets.
Poetry is vanity.
Vanity is sin.
Haiku # 65620, August 22, 2019 12:08 pm ET
by
God does not love you.
In fact It says he hates you.
It is The Bible.
Haiku # 65619, August 22, 2019 12:06 pm ET
by
Told me to call him
Mr. Cunnilingusham
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!
Haiku # 65618, August 21, 2019 11:37 pm ET
by SK of PNW
Vader stroked my thigh
Then he punched me in the eye
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 65617, August 21, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Awful Waffles
I lived in Naples
Meatballs big as your head
Served hot in my pants
Haiku # 65616, August 21, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Sausage dink of Around
"Let's get a cabin
Don't worry about lira"
Or any other junk"
Haiku # 65615, August 20, 2019 11:44 pm ET
by Walt Trip of Hawg's Back Woods
Italian Girl Friend
In the seventies
Boobs like Sofia Loren

A rear end wiggle
So fine- has not left my mind
After 50 years
Haiku # 65614, August 20, 2019 11:36 pm ET
by Walt Trip of Hawg's Back Woods
As the sun outshines
The stars, I the clown outshine
The other buffoons
Haiku # 65613, August 20, 2019 9:40 pm ET
by Line of lines
Visit Italy
Crazy, greasy Italians
Stuffed in one big boot
Haiku # 65612, August 20, 2019 7:55 pm ET
by Rural Guido of Same Boot
We've got you covered
Haiku about poop and dinks
We meet all your needs
Haiku # 65611, August 20, 2019 5:35 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Mmmmmeatcooler
Unibrow honey
Unibrow up in my face
Unibrow hard on
Haiku # 65610, August 20, 2019 2:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Duckling duckling duck
Anas platyrhynchos duck
Badling brace flock raft
Haiku # 65609, August 20, 2019 2:09 pm ET
by Line of lines
Congratulations !
3-D fecal ultrasound
Ma'am, you're having twins!
Haiku # 65608, August 20, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by Doula of Water birth
Empty booze bottles
A trail of cigarette butts
I knew I'd find you
Haiku # 65607, August 19, 2019 9:37 pm ET
by Scum of Of the Earth
Hongkie protester's
Big guts brave as hell!
Stand up to Maoists.

Communist killers
Killed thirty million men
The great leap backwards

The Honkies can see
What the Communist future
Soon will bring to them.

A million Tank Men
will be hunted down and purged
Just like Tiananmen

Respect to them all
Who dare to fight back against-
Communist evil
Haiku # 65606, August 19, 2019 5:37 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The great mystery
Every one will go back there
To where we started.
Haiku # 65605, August 19, 2019 5:21 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Receive visitors?
No thanks- want to be alone.
Thank God for quiet.
Haiku # 65604, August 19, 2019 5:17 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Tattoo my penis
Is there room for a dragon?
A small mosquito?
Haiku # 65603, August 18, 2019 3:37 pm ET
by Overheard of Philippines tattoo parlor
Wafer in his beak
The Catholicssowary bird
On the Sunday strut
Haiku # 65602, August 18, 2019 2:51 pm ET
by Bird watcher
John Boy Walton's mole
Overlooked at communion
"Hey, where's MY wafer??"
Haiku # 65601, August 18, 2019 2:48 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Praise Godzilla
All hail the top banana
Sunday is his day
Haiku # 65600, August 18, 2019 2:30 pm ET
by Heathen of Not in church
Closer inspection
Mastered a new yoga pose
I've a lovely cunt
Haiku # 65599, August 18, 2019 2:25 pm ET
by Namaste
When the neighbors look,
dance naked at your window.
Let them take pictures.
Haiku # 65598, August 18, 2019 6:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That is disgusting.
Eggs, vinegar, and oil
for real mayonnaise.
Haiku # 65597, August 18, 2019 5:58 am ET
by Try sesame oil for a flavorful twist. of Hellmann's is pure shite.
Backyard meat beating
Penis soothed in a large tub
Hellman's Mayonnaise
Haiku # 65596, August 18, 2019 12:19 am ET
by Neighborhood watch of Behind binoculars
Silk draperies blow
Revealing their nude figures
I watch them and wave
Haiku # 65595, August 18, 2019 12:15 am ET
by Nosy neighbor of Next door
The best birth control:
Radioactive condoms.
If they break, mutants!

Like X-Men and shit.
Piss acid and fart nerve gas.
New comic franchise.

But reality.
Toxic Figpucker Brigade.
They'd all be naked.
Haiku # 65594, August 17, 2019 10:40 pm ET
by Too Much Coffee Man and Red Meat. of Something like that.
I should eat my wife.
She is so Goddamn fat now.
Cooked she'd be a feast.
Haiku # 65593, August 17, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by df of Hannibal would understand.
This poetry page.
My "long pig" discussion group.
Post your recipes.
Haiku # 65592, August 17, 2019 10:26 pm ET
by df
Radioactive
My humping make you glowing
More, Fukushima!
Haiku # 65591, August 17, 2019 10:24 pm ET
by Stiff Willow of Follow the moans
Albert Fish was cool.
He ate only the best meat.
Tender ass of child.

Call the FBI.
But they know I eat children.
And they do not care.

They're only poor kids
It's population control.
Love third world countries.

Trump sometimes joins me.
Travels to "Shithole countries".
Dining on shitholes.
Haiku # 65590, August 17, 2019 10:21 pm ET
by He's a nasty president of He eats assholes like donuts.
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >