Everybody knows
Elevators take more time
With a Fart on-board

Just enjoyed primo
carabao capuccino.
Urge to roll in mud.

A gay poet wrote
on worms in his urethra;
he'd let them crawl in.

You said nightcrawlers.
I thought maybe you know him.
Hey, you could swap worms.

A new gay sex thing.
And you get to tell your friends,
you heard it here first.

Capitalists blow
the whore the Lard Jesus Christ
and spit on themselves.

Communists will bow
Before the Lord Jesus Christ
in spite of themselves.

First dumb them all down
With organized religion
Then sell salvation

Can't go to Poland !
Might need to nuke Hurricane !
Nuke the storm BIGLY

Pulling nightcrawlers
You get worm juice on your hands
But it washes off

Chief Lizzy War-on
The fake Cherokee jive azz
Scarfs down pow wow chow.

And barfs up bull chit
Neo- Communist jive talk
pinko kids love it!

Honshu Gate of Farts
Smelly tourist attraction
Gate of many stains

Got bars like rapper
Hit them hard like a napper
If I only wake up

You won't find that here
Don't even bother looking
Try looking elsewhere

First dumb them all down
through public education.
Then, sell Socialism

Politburo clown
Retro-Leninist nutcase
Bad-hair spitflinger

Very very big
Very very very big
Bigly hurricane

Psychiatric help
Available on this site
We meet all your needs

Bernie the Dino-sour
Washed up old Bolshevik
Punched by a speed bag.

That's funny as hell
The old Commie is not quick!
In mind or body!

I want to get high.
I want to get high, so high.
I want to get high.

i am nyarlathotep

Furries Convention
I like to wear my costume
Until it rots off

Nobody noticed
My poem went unnoticed
Nobody noticed

I have a penis.
It used to belong to John.
But now it is mine.

Overheard just now:
"Prove you are not a robot!"
Unzipping my pants

Seems like yesterday
When I tackled the mailman
Nude bath salts bear hug

Construction Bromance
Beef burrito picnic lunch
This one is on me

Sneaking in the house
Wife holding cast iron pan
All I remember

It won't be long now
Handing out paper towels
To Puerto Ricans

Which do you prefer,
yellow corn chips or blue ones?
I kind of like blue.

These are not poems.
Do not confuse them with art.
Small doses of hate.

Easy Bake Oven
Longpig in miniature
Anyone seen Ken?

Somewhat off topic
The poetry found on here
Is it poetry?

Cashed another check
Turning poems into cash
Ask me how today!

Barney the Dinosaur is not a false god.
He's the real fucking deal.

Go to The Church at 4:30 a.m.
Yell obscenities at the church bells until they stop.
Tell the police you're possessed and need to see a priest.
They will believe you, but only after you bribe them,
the filthy cunts.

Raise that false flag high:
Propaganda of the Deed
will make things clearer.

Pure Socialism.
It's as inevitable
as Jesus' return.

Yes Comrade. That's right.
Or rather let's say "That's Left".
Pol Pot is laughing.

No need to worry
About Trump he is-the last
American Prez.

Don't fret young Comrades!
Your Bolshevik way will win!
Trump is the last gasp

Of American
Freedom and rule of law
You will win for sure!

Socialist rule comes!
you stupid SOB'S!
And hell comes with it...

The coin of the realm
Shatner rear change dispenser
On every corner

Bosley's sagging balls
They had seen happier days
But returned to dust

Bowling bag mix up
Mike just bowled a perfect game
With a severed head

Arnold's rock hard abs
Katy Perry's sexy boobies
Tom Bosley's penis

Nyarlathothep,
Great lurker on the threshold,
Receive this haiku.

One more quick haiku
Just to bless your silly soul
That's headed to hell.

Oh no climate change
Oh dear oh no let's PANIC.
And then go shopping.

i hate to think of
that poor plastic flamingo
stuck up your own ass.

Next time I see you
Bent over in your garden
Gonna kick your ass

My best pick up line:
Yo bitch, let's swap STDs
in the men's bathroom.

Your local K-Mart
Missing several garden gnomes
Dude, they're on to you

Suppose you think that
Midget porn in the background
Has gone unnoticed