Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Echolocation
We have tracked your flatulence
You're bat shit crazy!
Haiku # 65713, September 1, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Fart Knower of In the vicinity
Raw human beings
Stewing in their own juices
Figpucker Island
Haiku # 65712, September 1, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Chamber of Commerce of Figpucker Island
Barbershop quartet
Four fart flatus harmony
Not a mass shooting
Haiku # 65711, August 31, 2019 11:07 pm ET
by Gassy Jack of Loading up on beans
Halfway through the sand
Why did they bury me here?
The sun is sinking
Haiku # 65710, August 31, 2019 10:43 pm ET
by A. Bandoned of With a submerged boner
Hospitality
Found between the open legs
Of a gorilla
Haiku # 65709, August 31, 2019 10:40 pm ET
by Gorilla fancier of In the mist
Co-op-era-tion.
Yip yip yip yip yip, uh huh.
Yip yip yip yip yip.
Haiku # 65708, August 31, 2019 10:12 pm ET
by Marshun
Yip scram fram glom bom
Merple dormy hramp mong bip
Strabble grok strop frop
Haiku # 65707, August 31, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Flerma scrom tizda
Hepta glom scrag hlang mangmang
Fesh fesh groo jung yoo
Haiku # 65706, August 31, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
They who masturbate
whilst contemplating livestock
are my soul brethren.
Haiku # 65705, August 31, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate
I plowed Buzz Lightyear
One more off the bucket list
Next up is Woody
Haiku # 65704, August 31, 2019 8:00 pm ET
by BHTizzie
I think I know him!
Does your brother ride a horse?
--Your, Ichabod Crane
Haiku # 65703, August 31, 2019 7:50 pm ET
by
Two beers, rum & Coke,
and a tall Bloody Mary.
My head is fuzzy.

Now I need coffee.
What a horrible junkie.
Freebasing caffeine.
Haiku # 65702, August 31, 2019 7:30 pm ET
by Freebase caffeine is not just an urban legend. It will fuck you up.
Well fuck me running!
That's a goddamn good poem.
I think I'll jack off.
Haiku # 65701, August 31, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by df of twin w/ head, you are awesome!
Conjoined headless twin
Mother always liked you best
Life is so unfair
Haiku # 65700, August 31, 2019 4:49 pm ET
by Other twin of With fully formed head
the world keeps turning
even if i'm still asleep
the planet isn't
Haiku # 65699, August 31, 2019 10:23 am ET
by ash
Ignite your poem.
Might singe the hairs on your taint.
Goes out with a bang.

Then by that regards
cows are the world's best poets.
Hungry for burgers?
Haiku # 65698, August 30, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Invisible Literature
I wrote a poem
But instead of using words
I used methane gas
Haiku # 65697, August 30, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by Hairy Asshole of Chair
It wasn't special.
Not very big and brownish.
The pic's on Facebook.
Haiku # 65696, August 30, 2019 5:52 pm ET
by
I'll go take a dump.
Then I'll tell you about it.
Get comfortable.
Haiku # 65695, August 30, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by
One voice is my ass.
Listen to words of wisdom.
Parooooot-a-toot-toot.
Haiku # 65694, August 30, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by That is pure truth!
The best voice ever
Belongs to Jeanine Piero
White nationalist
Haiku # 65693, August 30, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by VHS's pappy
One voice is reason.
One voice stinks of excrement.
Choose well which is which.
Haiku # 65692, August 30, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by HAIKU haikuhaikuhaiku of up your HAIKU
Hey Beto O'Dork
You got a haircut wow cool!
On TV good job!

And you ride skate boards!
Excellent qualifiers !
for useful idiot!
Haiku # 65691, August 30, 2019 3:53 pm ET
by Baron Urern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
Igniting flatus.
Do you have the balls to try?
Careful! Don't burn them!
Haiku # 65690, August 30, 2019 11:00 am ET
by Reduce Green house Gasses, light your farts. of Methane is far worse of a greenhouse gas than CO2, so burn your farts to save the earth!
Written on the wind
Timeless, smelly brown smudges
Nose poems. Breathe Deep
Haiku # 65689, August 30, 2019 10:27 am ET
by All for you
I almost read it
Form of written flatulence
Your signature verse
Haiku # 65688, August 30, 2019 4:59 am ET
by Chairman of the Bored
I have used corn starch
For rear end irritation
And making gravy
Haiku # 65687, August 30, 2019 4:57 am ET
by Not Food Safe Certified of Kitchen
Ever fuck Jello
while you are high on corn starch?
Then you haven't lived.
Haiku # 65686, August 30, 2019 3:55 am ET
by Bill Cosby of If it wiggles and it's wet, stick it in.
Participation
Masturbation requires some
But you're too lazy
Haiku # 65685, August 30, 2019 2:51 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
Ever snort corn starch?
Have you ever fucked Jello?
It's never too late
Haiku # 65684, August 30, 2019 2:43 am ET
by Helpful
I done got fucked up.
Butt-chugged me some paint thinner.
My farts smell like pine.
Haiku # 65683, August 30, 2019 2:34 am ET
by Bubba Boofsalot of Texass
Everybody knows
Elevators take more time
With a Fart on-board
Haiku # 65682, August 30, 2019 2:05 am ET
by Gassy Jack of Elevators
Just enjoyed primo
carabao capuccino.
Urge to roll in mud.
Haiku # 65681, August 30, 2019 1:44 am ET
by Do you have any wagons that you need me to pull? of Bellow, grunt, snort.
A gay poet wrote
on worms in his urethra;
he'd let them crawl in.

You said nightcrawlers.
I thought maybe you know him.
Hey, you could swap worms.

A new gay sex thing.
And you get to tell your friends,
you heard it here first.
Haiku # 65680, August 30, 2019 1:36 am ET
by His name was Darren of The Native American race.
Capitalists blow
the whore the Lard Jesus Christ
and spit on themselves.
Haiku # 65679, August 30, 2019 1:27 am ET
by Stalin's pet ferrett of The 328th generation.
Communists will bow
Before the Lord Jesus Christ
in spite of themselves.
Haiku # 65678, August 29, 2019 9:25 pm ET
by Epiphany of Dialectical Revelation
First dumb them all down
With organized religion
Then sell salvation
Haiku # 65677, August 29, 2019 6:54 pm ET
by Blueray
Can't go to Poland !
Might need to nuke Hurricane !
Nuke the storm BIGLY
Haiku # 65676, August 29, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by Donald Ass Trump of Near button
Pulling nightcrawlers
You get worm juice on your hands
But it washes off
Haiku # 65675, August 29, 2019 4:16 pm ET
by Trudging along of Lawn
Chief Lizzy War-on
The fake Cherokee jive azz
Scarfs down pow wow chow.

And barfs up bull chit
Neo- Communist jive talk
pinko kids love it!
Haiku # 65674, August 29, 2019 2:48 pm ET
by Baron Urgern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
Honshu Gate of Farts
Smelly tourist attraction
Gate of many stains
Haiku # 65673, August 29, 2019 2:14 pm ET
by Your gassy aunt
Got bars like rapper
Hit them hard like a napper
If I only wake up
Haiku # 65672, August 29, 2019 2:04 pm ET
by Line of lines
You won't find that here
Don't even bother looking
Try looking elsewhere
Haiku # 65671, August 29, 2019 1:52 pm ET
by Helpful
First dumb them all down
through public education.
Then, sell Socialism
Haiku # 65670, August 29, 2019 11:15 am ET
by John Dewey thought of it long before now
Politburo clown
Retro-Leninist nutcase
Bad-hair spitflinger
Haiku # 65669, August 29, 2019 11:08 am ET
by that's Bernie of VT
Very very big
Very very very big
Bigly hurricane
Haiku # 65668, August 29, 2019 10:25 am ET
by Donald Ass Trump of Very small vocabulary
Psychiatric help
Available on this site
We meet all your needs
Haiku # 65667, August 29, 2019 9:21 am ET
by Doc Smith of Examining table
Bernie the Dino-sour
Washed up old Bolshevik
Punched by a speed bag.

That's funny as hell
The old Commie is not quick!
In mind or body!
Haiku # 65666, August 29, 2019 6:44 am ET
by Baron Urgern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
I want to get high.
I want to get high, so high.
I want to get high.
Haiku # 65665, August 29, 2019 4:44 am ET
by Snoop Doggie Dog
i am nyarlathotep
Haiku # 65664, August 29, 2019 12:00 am ET
by vhs
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