Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Grandpa got confused
When he went to milk the cows
He jerked off instead
Haiku # 65717, September 1, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Don't drink the milk of It's spoiled
They just start out raw
Cooking brings out the flavor
Stop jerking off please!
Haiku # 65716, September 1, 2019 2:26 am ET
by Chef of Miami Spooj
With so much bad food
there's no choice but eat people.
Either that or rats.
Haiku # 65715, September 1, 2019 1:52 am ET
by Now that I think about it, the rats are cleaner.
If they are STEWING,
how on earth can they be RAW?
... Shit, now I'm hungry.
Haiku # 65714, September 1, 2019 1:47 am ET
by Guess no diet today, damnitall.
Echolocation
We have tracked your flatulence
You're bat shit crazy!
Haiku # 65713, September 1, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Fart Knower of In the vicinity
Raw human beings
Stewing in their own juices
Figpucker Island
Haiku # 65712, September 1, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Chamber of Commerce of Figpucker Island
Barbershop quartet
Four fart flatus harmony
Not a mass shooting
Haiku # 65711, August 31, 2019 11:07 pm ET
by Gassy Jack of Loading up on beans
Halfway through the sand
Why did they bury me here?
The sun is sinking
Haiku # 65710, August 31, 2019 10:43 pm ET
by A. Bandoned of With a submerged boner
Hospitality
Found between the open legs
Of a gorilla
Haiku # 65709, August 31, 2019 10:40 pm ET
by Gorilla fancier of In the mist
Co-op-era-tion.
Yip yip yip yip yip, uh huh.
Yip yip yip yip yip.
Haiku # 65708, August 31, 2019 10:12 pm ET
by Marshun
Yip scram fram glom bom
Merple dormy hramp mong bip
Strabble grok strop frop
Haiku # 65707, August 31, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Flerma scrom tizda
Hepta glom scrag hlang mangmang
Fesh fesh groo jung yoo
Haiku # 65706, August 31, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
They who masturbate
whilst contemplating livestock
are my soul brethren.
Haiku # 65705, August 31, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate
I plowed Buzz Lightyear
One more off the bucket list
Next up is Woody
Haiku # 65704, August 31, 2019 8:00 pm ET
by BHTizzie
I think I know him!
Does your brother ride a horse?
--Your, Ichabod Crane
Haiku # 65703, August 31, 2019 7:50 pm ET
by
Two beers, rum & Coke,
and a tall Bloody Mary.
My head is fuzzy.

Now I need coffee.
What a horrible junkie.
Freebasing caffeine.
Haiku # 65702, August 31, 2019 7:30 pm ET
by Freebase caffeine is not just an urban legend. It will fuck you up.
Well fuck me running!
That's a goddamn good poem.
I think I'll jack off.
Haiku # 65701, August 31, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by df of twin w/ head, you are awesome!
Conjoined headless twin
Mother always liked you best
Life is so unfair
Haiku # 65700, August 31, 2019 4:49 pm ET
by Other twin of With fully formed head
the world keeps turning
even if i'm still asleep
the planet isn't
Haiku # 65699, August 31, 2019 10:23 am ET
by ash
Ignite your poem.
Might singe the hairs on your taint.
Goes out with a bang.

Then by that regards
cows are the world's best poets.
Hungry for burgers?
Haiku # 65698, August 30, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Invisible Literature
I wrote a poem
But instead of using words
I used methane gas
Haiku # 65697, August 30, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by Hairy Asshole of Chair
It wasn't special.
Not very big and brownish.
The pic's on Facebook.
Haiku # 65696, August 30, 2019 5:52 pm ET
by
I'll go take a dump.
Then I'll tell you about it.
Get comfortable.
Haiku # 65695, August 30, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by
One voice is my ass.
Listen to words of wisdom.
Parooooot-a-toot-toot.
Haiku # 65694, August 30, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by That is pure truth!
The best voice ever
Belongs to Jeanine Piero
White nationalist
Haiku # 65693, August 30, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by VHS's pappy
One voice is reason.
One voice stinks of excrement.
Choose well which is which.
Haiku # 65692, August 30, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by HAIKU haikuhaikuhaiku of up your HAIKU
Hey Beto O'Dork
You got a haircut wow cool!
On TV good job!

And you ride skate boards!
Excellent qualifiers !
for useful idiot!
Haiku # 65691, August 30, 2019 3:53 pm ET
by Baron Urern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
Igniting flatus.
Do you have the balls to try?
Careful! Don't burn them!
Haiku # 65690, August 30, 2019 11:00 am ET
by Reduce Green house Gasses, light your farts. of Methane is far worse of a greenhouse gas than CO2, so burn your farts to save the earth!
Written on the wind
Timeless, smelly brown smudges
Nose poems. Breathe Deep
Haiku # 65689, August 30, 2019 10:27 am ET
by All for you
I almost read it
Form of written flatulence
Your signature verse
Haiku # 65688, August 30, 2019 4:59 am ET
by Chairman of the Bored
I have used corn starch
For rear end irritation
And making gravy
Haiku # 65687, August 30, 2019 4:57 am ET
by Not Food Safe Certified of Kitchen
Ever fuck Jello
while you are high on corn starch?
Then you haven't lived.
Haiku # 65686, August 30, 2019 3:55 am ET
by Bill Cosby of If it wiggles and it's wet, stick it in.
Participation
Masturbation requires some
But you're too lazy
Haiku # 65685, August 30, 2019 2:51 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
Ever snort corn starch?
Have you ever fucked Jello?
It's never too late
Haiku # 65684, August 30, 2019 2:43 am ET
by Helpful
I done got fucked up.
Butt-chugged me some paint thinner.
My farts smell like pine.
Haiku # 65683, August 30, 2019 2:34 am ET
by Bubba Boofsalot of Texass
Everybody knows
Elevators take more time
With a Fart on-board
Haiku # 65682, August 30, 2019 2:05 am ET
by Gassy Jack of Elevators
Just enjoyed primo
carabao capuccino.
Urge to roll in mud.
Haiku # 65681, August 30, 2019 1:44 am ET
by Do you have any wagons that you need me to pull? of Bellow, grunt, snort.
A gay poet wrote
on worms in his urethra;
he'd let them crawl in.

You said nightcrawlers.
I thought maybe you know him.
Hey, you could swap worms.

A new gay sex thing.
And you get to tell your friends,
you heard it here first.
Haiku # 65680, August 30, 2019 1:36 am ET
by His name was Darren of The Native American race.
Capitalists blow
the whore the Lard Jesus Christ
and spit on themselves.
Haiku # 65679, August 30, 2019 1:27 am ET
by Stalin's pet ferrett of The 328th generation.
Communists will bow
Before the Lord Jesus Christ
in spite of themselves.
Haiku # 65678, August 29, 2019 9:25 pm ET
by Epiphany of Dialectical Revelation
First dumb them all down
With organized religion
Then sell salvation
Haiku # 65677, August 29, 2019 6:54 pm ET
by Blueray
Can't go to Poland !
Might need to nuke Hurricane !
Nuke the storm BIGLY
Haiku # 65676, August 29, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by Donald Ass Trump of Near button
Pulling nightcrawlers
You get worm juice on your hands
But it washes off
Haiku # 65675, August 29, 2019 4:16 pm ET
by Trudging along of Lawn
Chief Lizzy War-on
The fake Cherokee jive azz
Scarfs down pow wow chow.

And barfs up bull chit
Neo- Communist jive talk
pinko kids love it!
Haiku # 65674, August 29, 2019 2:48 pm ET
by Baron Urgern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
Honshu Gate of Farts
Smelly tourist attraction
Gate of many stains
Haiku # 65673, August 29, 2019 2:14 pm ET
by Your gassy aunt
Got bars like rapper
Hit them hard like a napper
If I only wake up
Haiku # 65672, August 29, 2019 2:04 pm ET
by Line of lines
You won't find that here
Don't even bother looking
Try looking elsewhere
Haiku # 65671, August 29, 2019 1:52 pm ET
by Helpful
First dumb them all down
through public education.
Then, sell Socialism
Haiku # 65670, August 29, 2019 11:15 am ET
by John Dewey thought of it long before now
Politburo clown
Retro-Leninist nutcase
Bad-hair spitflinger
Haiku # 65669, August 29, 2019 11:08 am ET
by that's Bernie of VT
Very very big
Very very very big
Bigly hurricane
Haiku # 65668, August 29, 2019 10:25 am ET
by Donald Ass Trump of Very small vocabulary
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