The sky god is also named Zhang!
Why does he make life hard for me!?
If it doesn't rain in three days
I'll demolish your GD temple!
Then I'll have cannons blast your mom!
by Zhang Zong Chang of Western Paradise
T: "Why on earth would you call me a pig-fucker, Phillip?"
P: "Well, let's see... first of all, you fuck pigs."
T: "... Oh yeah."
by
Is that Jimmy Dean?
Spicy sausage breakfast dink.
A rinky-dink dink.
Minuscule morsel.
Ghost pepper lubrication.
Has it shriveled up?
by
Bipedal bovoid
Is knocking on your front door
Selling thesauri
by Fesh of Glom
Point your pretty hooves
To the ceiling and don't stop
Dancing until it
by Fesh of Glom
Giant ear of corn
Just tapping on your window
Until 3 AM
by Fesh of Glom
When you download pork
And you have too much to do
Pigfuckeration
by Sausage dink of Under old willow
When you download porn
and have too much work to do:
Promasturnation.
by df
Nacho cheese in cans.
You too can be immortal.
Infinite shelf life.
by
Fifty gallon drum
I wonder what is inside
Why is it leaking?
by Trudging along of Undisclosed
Axe zip ties bleach saw
Duct tape hammer shovel knife
Rope face mask ear plugs
by Undisclosed of Undisclosed
Only 3 per cent
Of birds still have penises
Emus have big dinks
by Walkin Funny of Bird watching
Tiny bird schmekle
Descended from dinosaurs
Can't fly with big dinks
by God is sensible of And so awesome.
Gun gun gun gun gun
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
Death death death death dearh
by Second amendment retard
Worse than ceiling cat
Spied on by my headless twin
No damn privacy
by Other twin of With fully formed head
When you kiss a frog
A handsome Prince will appear
Who wants to go first?
by Tad Pole of Frog Pond
Private Property
No Trespassing. KEEP OUT
No Soliciting
by This means You
Deboning the trout
Both hands tied behind your back
Are you an otter?
by Trudging along of Figpucker Island
Hairy frog and I
But wait, it isn't a frog
My penis has warts
by Riddip of Lily pad
I'm the headless twin!
Did you just ASSUME my head?!
That's so UN-PC!
by df
MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!
by Fom of Gesh
Somehow I picture
Marilyn Manson smoking
the Royal Feces.
by df
I read it somewhere
That Queen Elizabeth's poop
Has to be burned up
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
I AM A BANANA
by Fesh of Glom
Rat a tat tat peck
Peck peck rat a tat tat
Shut up woodpecker!
by Ann Noyed
Hey Darth Figpucker
Does your conjoined headless twin
Write these bad poems?
by Poet of Know it
Grandpa got confused
When he went to milk the cows
He jerked off instead
by Don't drink the milk of It's spoiled
They just start out raw
Cooking brings out the flavor
Stop jerking off please!
by Chef of Miami Spooj
With so much bad food
there's no choice but eat people.
Either that or rats.
by Now that I think about it, the rats are cleaner.
If they are STEWING,
how on earth can they be RAW?
... Shit, now I'm hungry.
by Guess no diet today, damnitall.
Echolocation
We have tracked your flatulence
You're bat shit crazy!
by Fart Knower of In the vicinity
Raw human beings
Stewing in their own juices
Figpucker Island
by Chamber of Commerce of Figpucker Island
Barbershop quartet
Four fart flatus harmony
Not a mass shooting
by Gassy Jack of Loading up on beans
Halfway through the sand
Why did they bury me here?
The sun is sinking
by A. Bandoned of With a submerged boner
Hospitality
Found between the open legs
Of a gorilla
by Gorilla fancier of In the mist
Co-op-era-tion.
Yip yip yip yip yip, uh huh.
Yip yip yip yip yip.
by Marshun
Yip scram fram glom bom
Merple dormy hramp mong bip
Strabble grok strop frop
by Fesh of Glom
Flerma scrom tizda
Hepta glom scrag hlang mangmang
Fesh fesh groo jung yoo
by Fesh of Glom
They who masturbate
whilst contemplating livestock
are my soul brethren.
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate
I plowed Buzz Lightyear
One more off the bucket list
Next up is Woody
by BHTizzie
I think I know him!
Does your brother ride a horse?
--Your, Ichabod Crane
by
Two beers, rum & Coke,
and a tall Bloody Mary.
My head is fuzzy.
Now I need coffee.
What a horrible junkie.
Freebasing caffeine.
by Freebase caffeine is not just an urban legend. It will fuck you up.
Well fuck me running!
That's a goddamn good poem.
I think I'll jack off.
by df of twin w/ head, you are awesome!
Conjoined headless twin
Mother always liked you best
Life is so unfair
by Other twin of With fully formed head
the world keeps turning
even if i'm still asleep
the planet isn't
by ash
Ignite your poem.
Might singe the hairs on your taint.
Goes out with a bang.
Then by that regards
cows are the world's best poets.
Hungry for burgers?
by Invisible Literature
I wrote a poem
But instead of using words
I used methane gas
by Hairy Asshole of Chair
It wasn't special.
Not very big and brownish.
The pic's on Facebook.
by
I'll go take a dump.
Then I'll tell you about it.
Get comfortable.
by
One voice is my ass.
Listen to words of wisdom.
Parooooot-a-toot-toot.
by That is pure truth!
