BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66190 Haikus
later...
What's the nastiest
thing you have put in your mouth?
Cooked pig testicles?
Haiku #65753, by
September 4, 2019 12:01 am ET

Jar Jar Binks' asshole.
Google image search for it.
Jacked off seven times.
Haiku #65752, by Jello Pudding Pops of Roofie flavored.
September 3, 2019 11:53 pm ET

After anal sex
Cuntfart farted a fetus.
It tried to eat us.

Figpucker cooked it.
Then fucked and sucked and ate it.
Pics are on Facebook.
Haiku #65751, by You nasty fuckers, you.
September 3, 2019 9:32 pm ET

Wait, those aren't poets!
They're just globs of cancer meat.
Whew! What a close one!

Cancer writes haiku.
Literary scholars swoon.
Best poem award.

Cryogenic sperm
Left on table Arby's.
Used for Horsey Sauce.

And wouldn't you know,
now the roast beef is pregnant.
Looks just like a cunt.
Haiku #65750, by Well, your mom's anyway.
September 3, 2019 9:28 pm ET

Caddyshack beaver
Maybe it was a groundhog
Well, Darth would fuck it
Haiku #65749, by Gopher of Nineteenth green
September 3, 2019 9:21 pm ET

Vaginal pus sacs
release mold spores in the air.
Be still; breathe deeply.

Your lung becomes cunt.
Vomit conjoined headless twins.
Figpucker / Cuntfart.

Consequences of
sucking cock at library.
Booze & haikus ooze.

Impregnated lung
births deformed haiku poets
into the toilet.
Haiku #65748, by Flush of Oh no, it's clogged!
September 3, 2019 9:17 pm ET

Chicom's rule China
Enslave billions of people
Now they want the world

Hongkies can see it
They do not want to be slaves
Fight like the devil

But sad- they will lose!
Hunted down and killed
By Communist thugs..
Haiku #65747, by Baton Urgern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
September 3, 2019 9:14 pm ET

Fart decibel limit
Maximum pubic hair growth
I don't follow rules
Haiku #65746, by Rule Breaker
September 3, 2019 8:41 pm ET

Unrest in Hong Kong
started by one bad Haiku.
See how trouble grows
Haiku #65745, by Gang of Four-Star Restaurant
September 3, 2019 8:18 pm ET

Those who won't submit
to syllabic rule of verse
shall face the armed State
Haiku #65744, by Law of Order
September 3, 2019 8:15 pm ET

The sky god is also named Zhang!
Why does he make life hard for me!?
If it doesn't rain in three days
I'll demolish your GD temple!
Then I'll have cannons blast your mom!
Haiku #65743, by Zhang Zong Chang of Western Paradise
September 3, 2019 5:50 am ET

T: "Why on earth would you call me a pig-fucker, Phillip?"
P: "Well, let's see... first of all, you fuck pigs."
T: "... Oh yeah."
Haiku #65742, by
September 3, 2019 1:41 am ET

Is that Jimmy Dean?
Spicy sausage breakfast dink.
A rinky-dink dink.

Minuscule morsel.
Ghost pepper lubrication.
Has it shriveled up?
Haiku #65741, by
September 3, 2019 1:36 am ET

Bipedal bovoid
Is knocking on your front door
Selling thesauri
Haiku #65740, by Fesh of Glom
September 2, 2019 11:26 pm ET

Point your pretty hooves
To the ceiling and don't stop
Dancing until it
Haiku #65739, by Fesh of Glom
September 2, 2019 11:22 pm ET

Giant ear of corn
Just tapping on your window
Until 3 AM
Haiku #65738, by Fesh of Glom
September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET

When you download pork
And you have too much to do
Pigfuckeration
Haiku #65737, by Sausage dink of Under old willow
September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET

When you download porn
and have too much work to do:
Promasturnation.
Haiku #65736, by df
September 2, 2019 11:03 pm ET

Nacho cheese in cans.
You too can be immortal.
Infinite shelf life.
Haiku #65735, by
September 2, 2019 10:50 pm ET

Fifty gallon drum
I wonder what is inside
Why is it leaking?
Haiku #65734, by Trudging along of Undisclosed
September 2, 2019 5:03 pm ET

Axe zip ties bleach saw
Duct tape hammer shovel knife
Rope face mask ear plugs
Haiku #65733, by Undisclosed of Undisclosed
September 2, 2019 3:22 pm ET

Only 3 per cent
Of birds still have penises
Emus have big dinks
Haiku #65732, by Walkin Funny of Bird watching
September 2, 2019 11:43 am ET

Tiny bird schmekle
Descended from dinosaurs
Can't fly with big dinks
Haiku #65731, by God is sensible of And so awesome.
September 2, 2019 11:37 am ET

Gun gun gun gun gun
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
Death death death death dearh
Haiku #65730, by Second amendment retard
September 2, 2019 11:17 am ET

Worse than ceiling cat
Spied on by my headless twin
No damn privacy
Haiku #65729, by Other twin of With fully formed head
September 2, 2019 8:57 am ET

When you kiss a frog
A handsome Prince will appear
Who wants to go first?
Haiku #65728, by Tad Pole of Frog Pond
September 2, 2019 12:56 am ET


Private Property
No Trespassing. KEEP OUT
No Soliciting
Haiku #65727, by This means You
September 1, 2019 11:02 pm ET

Deboning the trout
Both hands tied behind your back
Are you an otter?
Haiku #65726, by Trudging along of Figpucker Island
September 1, 2019 9:52 pm ET

Hairy frog and I
But wait, it isn't a frog
My penis has warts
Haiku #65725, by Riddip of Lily pad
September 1, 2019 9:11 pm ET

I'm the headless twin!
Did you just ASSUME my head?!
That's so UN-PC!
Haiku #65724, by df
September 1, 2019 9:02 pm ET

MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!
Haiku #65723, by Fom of Gesh
September 1, 2019 8:57 pm ET

Somehow I picture
Marilyn Manson smoking
the Royal Feces.
Haiku #65722, by df
September 1, 2019 8:57 pm ET

I read it somewhere
That Queen Elizabeth's poop
Has to be burned up
Haiku #65721, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 1, 2019 7:17 pm ET

I AM A BANANA
Haiku #65720, by Fesh of Glom
September 1, 2019 1:09 pm ET

Rat a tat tat peck
Peck peck rat a tat tat
Shut up woodpecker!
Haiku #65719, by Ann Noyed
September 1, 2019 10:36 am ET

Hey Darth Figpucker
Does your conjoined headless twin
Write these bad poems?
Haiku #65718, by Poet of Know it
September 1, 2019 2:45 am ET

Grandpa got confused
When he went to milk the cows
He jerked off instead
Haiku #65717, by Don't drink the milk of It's spoiled
September 1, 2019 2:36 am ET

They just start out raw
Cooking brings out the flavor
Stop jerking off please!
Haiku #65716, by Chef of Miami Spooj
September 1, 2019 2:26 am ET

With so much bad food
there's no choice but eat people.
Either that or rats.
Haiku #65715, by Now that I think about it, the rats are cleaner.
September 1, 2019 1:52 am ET

If they are STEWING,
how on earth can they be RAW?
... Shit, now I'm hungry.
Haiku #65714, by Guess no diet today, damnitall.
September 1, 2019 1:47 am ET

Echolocation
We have tracked your flatulence
You're bat shit crazy!
Haiku #65713, by Fart Knower of In the vicinity
September 1, 2019 1:39 am ET

Raw human beings
Stewing in their own juices
Figpucker Island
Haiku #65712, by Chamber of Commerce of Figpucker Island
September 1, 2019 12:56 am ET

Barbershop quartet
Four fart flatus harmony
Not a mass shooting
Haiku #65711, by Gassy Jack of Loading up on beans
August 31, 2019 11:07 pm ET

Halfway through the sand
Why did they bury me here?
The sun is sinking
Haiku #65710, by A. Bandoned of With a submerged boner
August 31, 2019 10:43 pm ET

Hospitality
Found between the open legs
Of a gorilla
Haiku #65709, by Gorilla fancier of In the mist
August 31, 2019 10:40 pm ET

Co-op-era-tion.
Yip yip yip yip yip, uh huh.
Yip yip yip yip yip.
Haiku #65708, by Marshun
August 31, 2019 10:12 pm ET

Yip scram fram glom bom
Merple dormy hramp mong bip
Strabble grok strop frop
Haiku #65707, by Fesh of Glom
August 31, 2019 10:00 pm ET

Flerma scrom tizda
Hepta glom scrag hlang mangmang
Fesh fesh groo jung yoo
Haiku #65706, by Fesh of Glom
August 31, 2019 9:57 pm ET

They who masturbate
whilst contemplating livestock
are my soul brethren.
Haiku #65705, by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate
August 31, 2019 9:55 pm ET

I plowed Buzz Lightyear
One more off the bucket list
Next up is Woody
Haiku #65704, by BHTizzie
August 31, 2019 8:00 pm ET