We all have a chance 
To write meaningful haiku
In ink, blood or spooj
by Poetry Robot of I wrote mine in grease 
 
			
Fuck counting.
That's what Excel is for.
Ejaculate your creativity!
Right into your neighbor's mail slot.
Tell the police it's the ink with which your write fine poetry.  Offer to write them a poem to give to their wives or girlfriends.  Tell them it's the Divine Word of God. Enjoy your vacation.
by Donald Trump's 2nd Favorite Hairpiece. of That's Hairpiece, not Herpes. 
 
			
I only did #65756 to #65762.
Oh, shit that was more than five syllables.
Eat my man cunt!
by df
 
			
Five of those poems
Are the work of Figpucker
Two by starkitten
by Haiku accounting dept of Office 
 
			
Last seven haikus
Were not abominable...
just very boring
by Chairman Moo of Vacaville 
 
			
Dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink 
Dink dink dink dink dink
by Sausage dink  of Dink rink 
 
			
Faint sound of popping
Butter at room temperature 
Preferred lubricant
by Orville
 
			
Picked from the lineup 
Sick, enormous ear of corn
with a cornrection
by Orville Redenbacher of Corn hole  
 
			
If you have a stroke
while having a heart attack,
would you masturbate?
by  
 
			
God does not love you.
But then neither does Satan.
I guess you're just fucked.
by  
 
			
Shit she's just fourteen.
I am such an old pervert.
Fifty bucks?! Too much.
by  
 
			
Her tits are quite small.
But at least she is not fat.
How much will she charge?
by  
 
			
Bad haiku dot com.
Mirrors facing each other.
No one else can see.
by  And that's a good thing!
 
			
Your poems are bad.
When I read them I get sad.
And that makes me mad.
by  
 
			
Rinky-dink dink stink.
Think pink wink ink blink sink skink.
Brink link mink rat-fink.
by  
 
			
Enormous toaster 
Each slot contains a human
Breakfast at God's place
by Yummly
 
			
ET's shriveled dink
Bicycle seat still moist
Up up and away
by Douchebag  of Under old willow  
 
			
What's the nastiest
thing you have put in your mouth?
Cooked pig testicles?
by  
 
			
Jar Jar Binks' asshole.
Google image search for it.
Jacked off seven times.
by Jello Pudding Pops of Roofie flavored. 
 
			
After anal sex
Cuntfart farted a fetus.
It tried to eat us.
Figpucker cooked it.
Then fucked and sucked and ate it.
Pics are on Facebook.
by You nasty fuckers, you.
 
			
Wait, those aren't poets!
They're just globs of cancer meat.
Whew! What a close one!
Cancer writes haiku.
Literary scholars swoon.
Best poem award.
Cryogenic sperm
Left on table Arby's.
Used for Horsey Sauce.
And wouldn't you know,
now the roast beef is pregnant.
Looks just like a cunt.
by Well, your mom's anyway.
 
			
Caddyshack beaver
Maybe it was a groundhog
Well, Darth would fuck it
by Gopher of Nineteenth green 
 
			
Vaginal pus sacs
release mold spores in the air.
Be still; breathe deeply.
Your lung becomes cunt.
Vomit conjoined headless twins.
Figpucker / Cuntfart.
Consequences of
sucking cock at library.
Booze & haikus ooze.
Impregnated lung
births deformed haiku poets
into the toilet.
by Flush of Oh no, it's clogged! 
 
			
Chicom's rule China
Enslave billions of people
Now they want the world
Hongkies can see it
They do not want to be slaves
Fight like the devil
But sad- they will lose!
Hunted down and killed
By Communist thugs..
by Baton Urgern Von Sternberg of Mongolia 
 
			
Fart decibel limit 
Maximum pubic hair growth
I don't follow rules
by Rule Breaker
 
			
Unrest in Hong Kong
started by one bad Haiku.
See how trouble grows
by Gang  of Four-Star Restaurant 
 
			
Those who won't submit
to syllabic rule of verse
shall face the armed State
by Law of Order 
 
			
The sky god is also named Zhang!
Why does he make life hard for me!?
If it doesn't rain in three days
I'll demolish your GD temple!
Then I'll have cannons blast your mom!
by Zhang Zong Chang of Western Paradise 
 
			
T:  "Why on earth would you call me a pig-fucker, Phillip?"
P:  "Well, let's see... first of all, you fuck pigs."
T:   "... Oh yeah."
by  
 
			
Is that Jimmy Dean?
Spicy sausage breakfast dink.
A rinky-dink dink.
Minuscule morsel.
Ghost pepper lubrication.
Has it shriveled up?
by  
 
			
Bipedal bovoid
Is knocking on your front door
Selling thesauri
by Fesh of Glom 
 
			
Point your pretty hooves
To the ceiling and don't stop
Dancing until it
by Fesh of Glom 
 
			
Giant ear of corn
Just tapping on your window
Until 3 AM
by Fesh of Glom 
 
			
When you download pork
And you have too much to do
Pigfuckeration
by Sausage dink  of Under old willow  
 
			
When you download porn
and have too much work to do:
Promasturnation.
by df
 
			
Nacho cheese in cans.
You too can be immortal.
Infinite shelf life.
by  
 
			
Fifty gallon drum
I wonder what is inside 
Why is it leaking?
by Trudging along  of Undisclosed  
 
			
Axe zip ties bleach saw
Duct tape hammer shovel knife
Rope face mask ear plugs
by Undisclosed  of Undisclosed  
 
			
Only 3 per cent
Of birds still have penises 
Emus have big dinks
by Walkin  Funny of Bird watching 
 
			
Tiny bird schmekle 
Descended from dinosaurs
Can't fly with big dinks
by God is sensible  of And so awesome.  
 
			
Gun gun gun gun gun
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
Death death death death dearh
by Second amendment retard
 
			
Worse than ceiling cat 
Spied on by my headless twin 
No damn privacy
by Other twin of With fully formed head 
 
			
When you kiss a frog 
A handsome Prince will appear
Who wants to go first?
by Tad Pole of Frog Pond 
 
			
Private Property
No Trespassing. KEEP OUT
No Soliciting
by This means You
 
			
Deboning the trout
Both hands tied behind your back
Are you an otter?
by Trudging along  of Figpucker Island 
 
			
Hairy frog and I 
But wait, it isn't a frog 
My penis has warts
by Riddip of Lily pad 
 
			
I'm the headless twin!
Did you just ASSUME my head?!
That's so UN-PC!
by df
 
			
MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!
by Fom of Gesh 
 
			
Somehow I picture
Marilyn Manson smoking
the Royal Feces.
by df
 
			
I read it somewhere 
That Queen Elizabeth's poop
Has to be burned up
by Noticer of Details  of Behind binoculars