Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78007 Haiku later...
I only did #65756 to #65762.
Oh, shit that was more than five syllables.
Eat my man cunt!
Haiku # 65768 September 4, 2019 12:57 pm ET
by df
Five of those poems
Are the work of Figpucker
Two by starkitten
Haiku # 65767 September 4, 2019 10:36 am ET
by Haiku accounting dept of Office
Last seven haikus
Were not abominable...
just very boring
Haiku # 65766 September 4, 2019 9:34 am ET
by Chairman Moo of Vacaville
Dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink
Haiku # 65765 September 4, 2019 4:03 am ET
by Sausage dink of Dink rink
Faint sound of popping
Butter at room temperature
Preferred lubricant
Haiku # 65764 September 4, 2019 4:01 am ET
by Orville
Picked from the lineup
Sick, enormous ear of corn
with a cornrection
Haiku # 65763 September 4, 2019 3:38 am ET
by Orville Redenbacher of Corn hole
If you have a stroke
while having a heart attack,
would you masturbate?
Haiku # 65762 September 4, 2019 2:05 am ET
by
God does not love you.
But then neither does Satan.
I guess you're just fucked.
Haiku # 65761 September 4, 2019 2:03 am ET
by
Shit she's just fourteen.
I am such an old pervert.
Fifty bucks?! Too much.
Haiku # 65760 September 4, 2019 1:16 am ET
by
Her tits are quite small.
But at least she is not fat.
How much will she charge?
Haiku # 65759 September 4, 2019 1:14 am ET
by
Bad haiku dot com.
Mirrors facing each other.
No one else can see.
Haiku # 65758 September 4, 2019 1:12 am ET
by And that's a good thing!
Your poems are bad.
When I read them I get sad.
And that makes me mad.
Haiku # 65757 September 4, 2019 1:11 am ET
by
Rinky-dink dink stink.
Think pink wink ink blink sink skink.
Brink link mink rat-fink.
Haiku # 65756 September 4, 2019 1:10 am ET
by
Enormous toaster
Each slot contains a human
Breakfast at God's place
Haiku # 65755 September 4, 2019 12:42 am ET
by Yummly
ET's shriveled dink
Bicycle seat still moist
Up up and away
Haiku # 65754 September 4, 2019 12:38 am ET
by Douchebag of Under old willow
What's the nastiest
thing you have put in your mouth?
Cooked pig testicles?
Haiku # 65753 September 4, 2019 12:01 am ET
by
Jar Jar Binks' asshole.
Google image search for it.
Jacked off seven times.
Haiku # 65752 September 3, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by Jello Pudding Pops of Roofie flavored.
After anal sex
Cuntfart farted a fetus.
It tried to eat us.

Figpucker cooked it.
Then fucked and sucked and ate it.
Pics are on Facebook.
Haiku # 65751 September 3, 2019 9:32 pm ET
by You nasty fuckers, you.
Wait, those aren't poets!
They're just globs of cancer meat.
Whew! What a close one!

Cancer writes haiku.
Literary scholars swoon.
Best poem award.

Cryogenic sperm
Left on table Arby's.
Used for Horsey Sauce.

And wouldn't you know,
now the roast beef is pregnant.
Looks just like a cunt.
Haiku # 65750 September 3, 2019 9:28 pm ET
by Well, your mom's anyway.
Caddyshack beaver
Maybe it was a groundhog
Well, Darth would fuck it
Haiku # 65749 September 3, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Gopher of Nineteenth green
Vaginal pus sacs
release mold spores in the air.
Be still; breathe deeply.

Your lung becomes cunt.
Vomit conjoined headless twins.
Figpucker / Cuntfart.

Consequences of
sucking cock at library.
Booze & haikus ooze.

Impregnated lung
births deformed haiku poets
into the toilet.
Haiku # 65748 September 3, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by Flush of Oh no, it's clogged!
Chicom's rule China
Enslave billions of people
Now they want the world

Hongkies can see it
They do not want to be slaves
Fight like the devil

But sad- they will lose!
Hunted down and killed
By Communist thugs..
Haiku # 65747 September 3, 2019 9:14 pm ET
by Baton Urgern Von Sternberg of Mongolia
Fart decibel limit
Maximum pubic hair growth
I don't follow rules
Haiku # 65746 September 3, 2019 8:41 pm ET
by Rule Breaker
Unrest in Hong Kong
started by one bad Haiku.
See how trouble grows
Haiku # 65745 September 3, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by Gang of Four-Star Restaurant
Those who won't submit
to syllabic rule of verse
shall face the armed State
Haiku # 65744 September 3, 2019 8:15 pm ET
by Law of Order
The sky god is also named Zhang!
Why does he make life hard for me!?
If it doesn't rain in three days
I'll demolish your GD temple!
Then I'll have cannons blast your mom!
Haiku # 65743 September 3, 2019 5:50 am ET
by Zhang Zong Chang of Western Paradise
T: "Why on earth would you call me a pig-fucker, Phillip?"
P: "Well, let's see... first of all, you fuck pigs."
T: "... Oh yeah."
Haiku # 65742 September 3, 2019 1:41 am ET
by
Is that Jimmy Dean?
Spicy sausage breakfast dink.
A rinky-dink dink.

Minuscule morsel.
Ghost pepper lubrication.
Has it shriveled up?
Haiku # 65741 September 3, 2019 1:36 am ET
by
Bipedal bovoid
Is knocking on your front door
Selling thesauri
Haiku # 65740 September 2, 2019 11:26 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Point your pretty hooves
To the ceiling and don't stop
Dancing until it
Haiku # 65739 September 2, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Giant ear of corn
Just tapping on your window
Until 3 AM
Haiku # 65738 September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
When you download pork
And you have too much to do
Pigfuckeration
Haiku # 65737 September 2, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Under old willow
When you download porn
and have too much work to do:
Promasturnation.
Haiku # 65736 September 2, 2019 11:03 pm ET
by df
Nacho cheese in cans.
You too can be immortal.
Infinite shelf life.
Haiku # 65735 September 2, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by
Fifty gallon drum
I wonder what is inside
Why is it leaking?
Haiku # 65734 September 2, 2019 5:03 pm ET
by Trudging along of Undisclosed
Axe zip ties bleach saw
Duct tape hammer shovel knife
Rope face mask ear plugs
Haiku # 65733 September 2, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Undisclosed of Undisclosed
Only 3 per cent
Of birds still have penises
Emus have big dinks
Haiku # 65732 September 2, 2019 11:43 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Bird watching
Tiny bird schmekle
Descended from dinosaurs
Can't fly with big dinks
Haiku # 65731 September 2, 2019 11:37 am ET
by God is sensible of And so awesome.
Gun gun gun gun gun
Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot
Death death death death dearh
Haiku # 65730 September 2, 2019 11:17 am ET
by Second amendment retard
Worse than ceiling cat
Spied on by my headless twin
No damn privacy
Haiku # 65729 September 2, 2019 8:57 am ET
by Other twin of With fully formed head
When you kiss a frog
A handsome Prince will appear
Who wants to go first?
Haiku # 65728 September 2, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Tad Pole of Frog Pond

Private Property
No Trespassing. KEEP OUT
No Soliciting
Haiku # 65727 September 1, 2019 11:02 pm ET
by This means You
Deboning the trout
Both hands tied behind your back
Are you an otter?
Haiku # 65726 September 1, 2019 9:52 pm ET
by Trudging along of Figpucker Island
Hairy frog and I
But wait, it isn't a frog
My penis has warts
Haiku # 65725 September 1, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Riddip of Lily pad
I'm the headless twin!
Did you just ASSUME my head?!
That's so UN-PC!
Haiku # 65724 September 1, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by df
MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!
Haiku # 65723 September 1, 2019 8:57 pm ET
by Fom of Gesh
Somehow I picture
Marilyn Manson smoking
the Royal Feces.
Haiku # 65722 September 1, 2019 8:57 pm ET
by df
I read it somewhere
That Queen Elizabeth's poop
Has to be burned up
Haiku # 65721 September 1, 2019 7:17 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
I AM A BANANA
Haiku # 65720 September 1, 2019 1:09 pm ET
by Fesh of Glom
Rat a tat tat peck
Peck peck rat a tat tat
Shut up woodpecker!
Haiku # 65719 September 1, 2019 10:36 am ET
by Ann Noyed
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