Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 25 Days and 77405 Haiku later...

The only reason
Haiku has been ridiculed
It's ridiculous
Haiku # 61873, January 28, 2019 11:16 pm ET
by Poem in my bum
This wrinkly flesh rod
The patent holder is God
The Holy Boomstick
Haiku # 61872, January 28, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by Triskelion (yawn) of 3 legged race
Dude. Whip that thing out
In five-seven-five haiku.
That's IT? What a joke.
Haiku # 61871, January 28, 2019 6:52 pm ET
by Flash of Inspiration
Measure for measure
It's a national treasure
Designed for Pleasure
Haiku # 61870, January 28, 2019 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I pity da fool
Who thinks he's got a big tool
Mine is the longest
Haiku # 61869, January 28, 2019 6:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
To never get past
membranes, glands, body fluids...
Pity that poet!
Haiku # 61868, January 28, 2019 5:52 pm ET
by Poet of Show It
I dream of Jeanie
Now then, Did she menstruate?
Or Blink it away?
Haiku # 61867, January 28, 2019 5:14 pm ET
by Viewer of In front of screen
Mona Lisa smile
Barbara Walters lisping smile
Smile Vertically
Haiku # 61866, January 28, 2019 5:11 pm ET
by Guy Smiley
Whatever you want
I guarantee you it's here
On this fine website
Haiku # 61865, January 28, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by Fan
That Mona Walter
and Ayaan Hirsi Ali:
women for our age.

https://tinyurl.com/yd43zl24

https://tinyurl.com/ybrqeax9
Haiku # 61864, January 28, 2019 2:09 pm ET
by Galab Wanaagsan of Kushitic Punt
Walk into the gloom
Yes, it's all waiting for you
You will blend right in
Haiku # 61863, January 28, 2019 3:39 am ET
by Gray Person
Ghosts are a problem
Like when they sit behind you
Making pottery
Haiku # 61862, January 28, 2019 3:35 am ET
by Demi
of course i do, who?
i used to chew, tobacco
now i dont do that
Haiku # 61861, January 27, 2019 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
The Pope had to poop
Squishing would not work this time
Too late, shit his gown
Haiku # 61860, January 27, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by Shatagain City
Praying at the moon
Christian Werewolf here to serve
And play the oldies
Haiku # 61859, January 27, 2019 9:44 pm ET
by Bee Bop a loo ba

Seems like you finally
Got that five-seven-five thing
down consistently
Haiku # 61858, January 27, 2019 7:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
someone directed
inspirational christian
stuff to my twitter!!!
Haiku # 61857, January 27, 2019 7:11 pm ET
by vhs of not an inspirational Christian
the folks who post here
or on twitter, i do we
don't know each other

well someone does but...
other than that...
Haiku # 61856, January 27, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by vhs
yes i did go through
that incarnation here and
I'm still mouthy toots
Haiku # 61855, January 27, 2019 6:42 pm ET
by vhs
Q for VHS:
are you the one named Moxie
from way back Haiku?
Haiku # 61854, January 27, 2019 6:40 pm ET
by Mainely of Maine
There is Lord of Lords,
there is also Lourdes of Lourdes.
Darth is lewd of lewds.
Haiku # 61853, January 27, 2019 6:36 pm ET
by Lard of Lards
Fauntleroy! That's rich.
I call my son Fauntleroy
When I'm trolling him.
Haiku # 61852, January 27, 2019 6:33 pm ET
by Fauntlressa of Distressa
Lordy oh Lordy
more like a pun haiku then
doth praiseth the Lord--e...
Haiku # 61851, January 27, 2019 6:32 pm ET
by vhs
The Lord of the Dance?
Or Little Lord Fauntleroy?
Or Lord of the Rings?
Haiku # 61850, January 27, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by Lourdes of Lourdes
well it is a post
as a break in the music
for more haikuing
Haiku # 61849, January 27, 2019 6:22 pm ET
by vhs
Haiku wake-up call!
Who is on the Lord's side, huh?
YOU? Or your mother...
Haiku # 61848, January 27, 2019 4:55 pm ET
by Mama knows best of course
V.H.S. that's nice
But pasting a URL
is not real haiku.
Haiku # 61847, January 27, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
https://nypost.com/2018/08/03/how-liberals-turned-against-free-speech/
Haiku # 61846, January 27, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by vhs
Brian Wilson's aunt
My cousin was working there
Oops sorry typo
Haiku # 61845, January 27, 2019 1:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Brian Wilson's WHAT?
Your head is in a bad place.
Really, you need help.
Haiku # 61844, January 27, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Help of Haiku Hell
Brian Wilson's taint
Just ordered a large pizza
From Little Caesar's
Haiku # 61843, January 27, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gnarly Tsunami
My reefer got soaking wet
And my penis shriveled
Haiku # 61842, January 27, 2019 2:31 am ET
by Little Surfer
Is a penis
Haiku # 61841, January 26, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It
Haiku # 61840, January 26, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Peppermint Poontang
Old soda machine
Only has lemonade drinks
Gah! It
Haiku # 61839, January 26, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by I want my money back
Lick your inner wrists
Now hold them in the air
Kangaroo A/C
Haiku # 61838, January 26, 2019 9:29 pm ET
by Kangaroo of Australia
high humidity
another stinking hot day
enough already
Haiku # 61837, January 26, 2019 9:23 pm ET
by ash
Seen on milk carton
Abducted: Darth Figpucker
Darth, please come home now
Haiku # 61836, January 26, 2019 8:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oh I wouldn't mind
Come out of hibernation
A friendly bear hug
Haiku # 61835, January 26, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by When Hairy met Silly of Bear Trail
Gentle wave rises...
happy fishermen look up;
CRASH! Death. (tsunami)
Haiku # 61834, January 26, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by Yo Yo Ma of Yo Mama
of course some bears are
very hairy guys...I'm a bear
shall i maul you then :)
Haiku # 61833, January 26, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by vhs
Did we give up pork
It's just been chicken and fish
Eat out every day
Haiku # 61832, January 26, 2019 6:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bears and who they maul
Common Denominator
God damn foolishness
Haiku # 61831, January 26, 2019 6:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i think we are thinking
of the evil dead movies
as to evil trees...
Haiku # 61830, January 26, 2019 6:00 pm ET
by vhs
nyaahh...pearls before swine
so they say of the treasures of the earth
"I have the body of a pig...grunt, grunt"
Haiku # 61829, January 26, 2019 5:59 pm ET
by vhs
Rising to power
A force to be reckoned with
John Boy Walton's Mole
Haiku # 61828, January 26, 2019 5:58 pm ET
by Ignoring this facial growth of Pimple is n the ass of progress
In the Walden Woods
The trees will pull your pants off
And tickle your nuts
Haiku # 61827, January 26, 2019 5:56 pm ET
by Outdoor Enthusiasts
the ones who are your
elders who are enlightened show
or listen to you

pride versus love
Haiku # 61826, January 26, 2019 5:44 pm ET
by vhs
Frumpy old liberals
Think they are so enlightened
But they're just frumpy
Haiku # 61825, January 26, 2019 4:31 pm ET
by Frump Derangement
Well I'll go to walden
anyways screw what some guy
or gal on twitter says
Haiku # 61824, January 26, 2019 4:03 pm ET
by vhs
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