Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 190 Days and 77102 Haiku later...

Brian Wilson's WHAT?
Your head is in a bad place.
Really, you need help.
Haiku # 61844, January 27, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Help of Haiku Hell
Brian Wilson's taint
Just ordered a large pizza
From Little Caesar's
Haiku # 61843, January 27, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gnarly Tsunami
My reefer got soaking wet
And my penis shriveled
Haiku # 61842, January 27, 2019 2:31 am ET
by Little Surfer
Is a penis
Haiku # 61841, January 26, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku # 61840, January 26, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Peppermint Poontang
Old soda machine
Only has lemonade drinks
Gah! It
Haiku # 61839, January 26, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by I want my money back
Lick your inner wrists
Now hold them in the air
Kangaroo A/C
Haiku # 61838, January 26, 2019 9:29 pm ET
by Kangaroo of Australia
high humidity
another stinking hot day
enough already
Haiku # 61837, January 26, 2019 9:23 pm ET
by ash
Seen on milk carton
Abducted: Darth Figpucker
Darth, please come home now
Haiku # 61836, January 26, 2019 8:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oh I wouldn't mind
Come out of hibernation
A friendly bear hug
Haiku # 61835, January 26, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by When Hairy met Silly of Bear Trail
Gentle wave rises...
happy fishermen look up;
CRASH! Death. (tsunami)
Haiku # 61834, January 26, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by Yo Yo Ma of Yo Mama
of course some bears are
very hairy guys...I'm a bear
shall i maul you then :)
Haiku # 61833, January 26, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by vhs
Did we give up pork
It's just been chicken and fish
Eat out every day
Haiku # 61832, January 26, 2019 6:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bears and who they maul
Common Denominator
God damn foolishness
Haiku # 61831, January 26, 2019 6:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i think we are thinking
of the evil dead movies
as to evil trees...
Haiku # 61830, January 26, 2019 6:00 pm ET
by vhs
nyaahh...pearls before swine
so they say of the treasures of the earth
"I have the body of a pig...grunt, grunt"
Haiku # 61829, January 26, 2019 5:59 pm ET
by vhs
Rising to power
A force to be reckoned with
John Boy Walton's Mole
Haiku # 61828, January 26, 2019 5:58 pm ET
by Ignoring this facial growth of Pimple is n the ass of progress
In the Walden Woods
The trees will pull your pants off
And tickle your nuts
Haiku # 61827, January 26, 2019 5:56 pm ET
by Outdoor Enthusiasts
the ones who are your
elders who are enlightened show
or listen to you

pride versus love
Haiku # 61826, January 26, 2019 5:44 pm ET
by vhs
Frumpy old liberals
Think they are so enlightened
But they're just frumpy
Haiku # 61825, January 26, 2019 4:31 pm ET
by Frump Derangement
Well I'll go to walden
anyways screw what some guy
or gal on twitter says
Haiku # 61824, January 26, 2019 4:03 pm ET
by vhs
Those frumpy womnen
Will suck the life out of you
Five Alarm Blow Jobs
Haiku # 61823, January 26, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Dickspatcher of Station
Sno-Cone Machiine Gun
Rat a tat Rat a Tat Splat
Fecal Fudge Flavour
Haiku # 61822, January 26, 2019 2:00 pm ET
by 7-11 24/7 of #2
Bro, what's not to love
Your God created us all
In his own image
Haiku # 61821, January 26, 2019 1:58 pm ET
by Creature of the Lordt
Old balding Leftists
Nasty frumpy Lib women
They are all so vile
Haiku # 61820, January 26, 2019 8:29 am ET
by God God and more GOD
Farting machine gun
Rat a tat Rat a tat splat
Can your ass do that?
Haiku # 61819, January 26, 2019 3:33 am ET
by You know who of You know where
When they come for you
Will anybody notice?
Who will hear your scream?
Haiku # 61818, January 25, 2019 10:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Took her dog style too
Always left her wanting more
Puny pink penis
Haiku # 61817, January 25, 2019 7:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thoreau was a fake.
Ate meals at his sister's house.
Haiku # 61816, January 25, 2019 5:27 pm ET
by Transcend THIS, dimwit
Hung up my girdle
From a low hanging tree branch
Some pervert swiped it
Haiku # 61815, January 25, 2019 5:04 pm ET
by Girdle less in the forest
Tree stump down yonder
Designated fart hassock
The comforts of home
Haiku # 61814, January 25, 2019 5:02 pm ET
by A place for everything of Everything in its place
Thoreau on steroids
Wiping his ass on green leaves
Making record time
Haiku # 61813, January 25, 2019 4:59 pm ET
by Natural of Nude Cold Forest
Woah woah woah woah woah
Bruce Springsteen grimace grimace
Woah woah Thunder Road
Haiku # 61812, January 25, 2019 12:05 pm ET
by Never could stand him
Thank you for this site
If it weren't for Bad Haiku
I would go crazy
Haiku # 61811, January 24, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by Saved of Bad Haiku
New Jersey forecast
One hundred percent chance of
Springsteen grimacing
Haiku # 61810, January 24, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Watcher of Grimace Cam
The world's longest turd
Hollowed out. Dried in the sun.
Apartment for rent
Haiku # 61809, January 24, 2019 10:44 pm ET
by Landlord
I'm falling behind
Just can't keep up anymore
Those Kardashians
Haiku # 61808, January 24, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by Person who fell behind of Behind famous behind
Suck my doorknob bitch.
Skin the progressive kittens
(but spare Starkitten)
Haiku # 61807, January 24, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Whine On
Attention Poets
Ahem, Paging Darth Figpucker
Darth Figpucker, please
Haiku # 61806, January 24, 2019 5:45 pm ET
by Customer service
Attention poets
That last poem was written
By old Starkitten
Haiku # 61805, January 24, 2019 5:07 pm ET
by Starkitten of The real Starkitten
So satisfying
Razzputinberry Zinger
Tea that's like manure
Haiku # 61804, January 24, 2019 4:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
knocking at the door
Electrify the doorknob
You're not welcome here
Haiku # 61803, January 24, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by Inside
are you sure you'd want
me for four years as pres mind
you putin would get

sick of my dead on
impersonations of him
radioactive tea
Haiku # 61802, January 24, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by vhs
More shutdown please, mom.
I never noticed it was...
End the whole damn thing.
Haiku # 61801, January 24, 2019 3:47 pm ET
by Bedtime for Democracy
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
U R N.P.C!
Haiku # 61800, January 24, 2019 8:18 am ET
by Play with Non-Playing
This is a weird site
The poetry is crazy
Are these real poems?
Haiku # 61799, January 24, 2019 12:36 am ET
by Liisa of Fresno
No toilet paper
Mission soft shell burritos
Fourth meal on steroids
Haiku # 61798, January 23, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Wiper
I have a pet snake
Dear little chunnywhisker
His name's Scott Baio
Haiku # 61797, January 23, 2019 10:35 pm ET
by Snake Owner
Oompa Loompa Dance
Perpetual somersaults
With head in rectum
Haiku # 61796, January 23, 2019 10:28 pm ET
by Fat Orange Coward President of Elected by Fools
Rachael Ray's Labia
Marinated overnight
Stuffed with swollen prongs
Haiku # 61795, January 23, 2019 10:25 pm ET
by Eat Out of Me
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