BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
318 Days
and
68162 Haikus
later...
The Pope had to poop
Squishing would not work this time
Too late, shit his gown
Haiku #61860, by Shatagain City
January 27, 2019 10:08 pm ET

Praying at the moon
Christian Werewolf here to serve
And play the oldies
Haiku #61859, by Bee Bop a loo ba
January 27, 2019 9:44 pm ET


Seems like you finally
Got that five-seven-five thing
down consistently
Haiku #61858, by Anonymous Poet
January 27, 2019 7:35 pm ET

someone directed
inspirational christian
stuff to my twitter!!!
Haiku #61857, by vhs of not an inspirational Christian
January 27, 2019 7:11 pm ET

the folks who post here
or on twitter, i do we
don't know each other

well someone does but...
other than that...
Haiku #61856, by vhs
January 27, 2019 6:46 pm ET

yes i did go through
that incarnation here and
I'm still mouthy toots
Haiku #61855, by vhs
January 27, 2019 6:42 pm ET

Q for VHS:
are you the one named Moxie
from way back Haiku?
Haiku #61854, by Mainely of Maine
January 27, 2019 6:40 pm ET

There is Lord of Lords,
there is also Lourdes of Lourdes.
Darth is lewd of lewds.
Haiku #61853, by Lard of Lards
January 27, 2019 6:36 pm ET

Fauntleroy! That's rich.
I call my son Fauntleroy
When I'm trolling him.
Haiku #61852, by Fauntlressa of Distressa
January 27, 2019 6:33 pm ET

Lordy oh Lordy
more like a pun haiku then
doth praiseth the Lord--e...
Haiku #61851, by vhs
January 27, 2019 6:32 pm ET

The Lord of the Dance?
Or Little Lord Fauntleroy?
Or Lord of the Rings?
Haiku #61850, by Lourdes of Lourdes
January 27, 2019 6:26 pm ET

well it is a post
as a break in the music
for more haikuing
Haiku #61849, by vhs
January 27, 2019 6:22 pm ET

Haiku wake-up call!
Who is on the Lord's side, huh?
YOU? Or your mother...
Haiku #61848, by Mama knows best of course
January 27, 2019 4:55 pm ET

V.H.S. that's nice
But pasting a URL
is not real haiku.
Haiku #61847, by Anonymous Poet
January 27, 2019 4:50 pm ET

https://nypost.com/2018/08/03/how-liberals-turned-against-free-speech/
Haiku #61846, by vhs
January 27, 2019 3:22 pm ET

Brian Wilson's aunt
My cousin was working there
Oops sorry typo
Haiku #61845, by Anonymous Poet
January 27, 2019 1:06 pm ET

Brian Wilson's WHAT?
Your head is in a bad place.
Really, you need help.
Haiku #61844, by Help of Haiku Hell
January 27, 2019 12:55 pm ET

Brian Wilson's taint
Just ordered a large pizza
From Little Caesar's
Haiku #61843, by Anonymous Poet
January 27, 2019 2:36 am ET

Gnarly Tsunami
My reefer got soaking wet
And my penis shriveled
Haiku #61842, by Little Surfer
January 27, 2019 2:31 am ET

Is a penis
Haiku #61841, by Anonymous Poet
January 26, 2019 11:28 pm ET

It
Haiku #61840, by Peppermint Poontang
January 26, 2019 11:28 pm ET

Old soda machine
Only has lemonade drinks
Gah! It
Haiku #61839, by I want my money back
January 26, 2019 11:27 pm ET

Lick your inner wrists
Now hold them in the air
Kangaroo A/C
Haiku #61838, by Kangaroo of Australia
January 26, 2019 9:29 pm ET

high humidity
another stinking hot day
enough already
Haiku #61837, by ash
January 26, 2019 9:23 pm ET

Seen on milk carton
Abducted: Darth Figpucker
Darth, please come home now
Haiku #61836, by Anonymous Poet
January 26, 2019 8:23 pm ET

Oh I wouldn't mind
Come out of hibernation
A friendly bear hug
Haiku #61835, by When Hairy met Silly of Bear Trail
January 26, 2019 6:43 pm ET

Gentle wave rises...
happy fishermen look up;
CRASH! Death. (tsunami)
Haiku #61834, by Yo Yo Ma of Yo Mama
January 26, 2019 6:27 pm ET

of course some bears are
very hairy guys...I'm a bear
shall i maul you then :)
Haiku #61833, by vhs
January 26, 2019 6:20 pm ET

Did we give up pork
It's just been chicken and fish
Eat out every day
Haiku #61832, by Anonymous Poet
January 26, 2019 6:03 pm ET

Bears and who they maul
Common Denominator
God damn foolishness
Haiku #61831, by Anonymous Poet
January 26, 2019 6:01 pm ET

i think we are thinking
of the evil dead movies
as to evil trees...
Haiku #61830, by vhs
January 26, 2019 6:00 pm ET

nyaahh...pearls before swine
so they say of the treasures of the earth
"I have the body of a pig...grunt, grunt"
Haiku #61829, by vhs
January 26, 2019 5:59 pm ET

Rising to power
A force to be reckoned with
John Boy Walton's Mole
Haiku #61828, by Ignoring this facial growth of Pimple is n the ass of progress
January 26, 2019 5:58 pm ET

In the Walden Woods
The trees will pull your pants off
And tickle your nuts
Haiku #61827, by Outdoor Enthusiasts
January 26, 2019 5:56 pm ET

the ones who are your
elders who are enlightened show
or listen to you

pride versus love
Haiku #61826, by vhs
January 26, 2019 5:44 pm ET

Frumpy old liberals
Think they are so enlightened
But they're just frumpy
Haiku #61825, by Frump Derangement
January 26, 2019 4:31 pm ET

Well I'll go to walden
anyways screw what some guy
or gal on twitter says
Haiku #61824, by vhs
January 26, 2019 4:03 pm ET

Those frumpy womnen
Will suck the life out of you
Five Alarm Blow Jobs
Haiku #61823, by Dickspatcher of Station
January 26, 2019 2:02 pm ET

Sno-Cone Machiine Gun
Rat a tat Rat a Tat Splat
Fecal Fudge Flavour
Haiku #61822, by 7-11 24/7 of #2
January 26, 2019 2:00 pm ET

Bro, what's not to love
Your God created us all
In his own image
Haiku #61821, by Creature of the Lordt
January 26, 2019 1:58 pm ET

Old balding Leftists
Nasty frumpy Lib women
They are all so vile
Haiku #61820, by God God and more GOD
January 26, 2019 8:29 am ET

Farting machine gun
Rat a tat Rat a tat splat
Can your ass do that?
Haiku #61819, by You know who of You know where
January 26, 2019 3:33 am ET

When they come for you
Will anybody notice?
Who will hear your scream?
Haiku #61818, by Anonymous Poet
January 25, 2019 10:16 pm ET

Took her dog style too
Always left her wanting more
Puny pink penis
Haiku #61817, by Anonymous Poet
January 25, 2019 7:45 pm ET

Thoreau was a fake.
Ate meals at his sister's house.
Not at WALDEN POND.
Haiku #61816, by Transcend THIS, dimwit
January 25, 2019 5:27 pm ET

Hung up my girdle
From a low hanging tree branch
Some pervert swiped it
Haiku #61815, by Girdle less in the forest
January 25, 2019 5:04 pm ET

Tree stump down yonder
Designated fart hassock
The comforts of home
Haiku #61814, by A place for everything of Everything in its place
January 25, 2019 5:02 pm ET

Thoreau on steroids
Wiping his ass on green leaves
Making record time
Haiku #61813, by Natural of Nude Cold Forest
January 25, 2019 4:59 pm ET

Woah woah woah woah woah
Bruce Springsteen grimace grimace
Woah woah Thunder Road
Haiku #61812, by Never could stand him
January 25, 2019 12:05 pm ET

Thank you for this site
If it weren't for Bad Haiku
I would go crazy
Haiku #61811, by Saved of Bad Haiku
January 24, 2019 11:53 pm ET