Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Walk into the gloom
Yes, it's all waiting for you
You will blend right in
Haiku # 61863, January 28, 2019 3:39 am ET
by Gray Person
Ghosts are a problem
Like when they sit behind you
Making pottery
Haiku # 61862, January 28, 2019 3:35 am ET
by Demi
of course i do, who?
i used to chew, tobacco
now i dont do that
Haiku # 61861, January 27, 2019 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
The Pope had to poop
Squishing would not work this time
Too late, shit his gown
Haiku # 61860, January 27, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by Shatagain City
Praying at the moon
Christian Werewolf here to serve
And play the oldies
Haiku # 61859, January 27, 2019 9:44 pm ET
by Bee Bop a loo ba

Seems like you finally
Got that five-seven-five thing
down consistently
Haiku # 61858, January 27, 2019 7:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
someone directed
inspirational christian
stuff to my twitter!!!
Haiku # 61857, January 27, 2019 7:11 pm ET
by vhs of not an inspirational Christian
the folks who post here
or on twitter, i do we
don't know each other

well someone does but...
other than that...
Haiku # 61856, January 27, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by vhs
yes i did go through
that incarnation here and
I'm still mouthy toots
Haiku # 61855, January 27, 2019 6:42 pm ET
by vhs
Q for VHS:
are you the one named Moxie
from way back Haiku?
Haiku # 61854, January 27, 2019 6:40 pm ET
by Mainely of Maine
There is Lord of Lords,
there is also Lourdes of Lourdes.
Darth is lewd of lewds.
Haiku # 61853, January 27, 2019 6:36 pm ET
by Lard of Lards
Fauntleroy! That's rich.
I call my son Fauntleroy
When I'm trolling him.
Haiku # 61852, January 27, 2019 6:33 pm ET
by Fauntlressa of Distressa
Lordy oh Lordy
more like a pun haiku then
doth praiseth the Lord--e...
Haiku # 61851, January 27, 2019 6:32 pm ET
by vhs
The Lord of the Dance?
Or Little Lord Fauntleroy?
Or Lord of the Rings?
Haiku # 61850, January 27, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by Lourdes of Lourdes
well it is a post
as a break in the music
for more haikuing
Haiku # 61849, January 27, 2019 6:22 pm ET
by vhs
Haiku wake-up call!
Who is on the Lord's side, huh?
YOU? Or your mother...
Haiku # 61848, January 27, 2019 4:55 pm ET
by Mama knows best of course
V.H.S. that's nice
But pasting a URL
is not real haiku.
Haiku # 61847, January 27, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
https://nypost.com/2018/08/03/how-liberals-turned-against-free-speech/
Haiku # 61846, January 27, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by vhs
Brian Wilson's aunt
My cousin was working there
Oops sorry typo
Haiku # 61845, January 27, 2019 1:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Brian Wilson's WHAT?
Your head is in a bad place.
Really, you need help.
Haiku # 61844, January 27, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Help of Haiku Hell
Brian Wilson's taint
Just ordered a large pizza
From Little Caesar's
Haiku # 61843, January 27, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gnarly Tsunami
My reefer got soaking wet
And my penis shriveled
Haiku # 61842, January 27, 2019 2:31 am ET
by Little Surfer
Is a penis
Haiku # 61841, January 26, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It
Haiku # 61840, January 26, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Peppermint Poontang
Old soda machine
Only has lemonade drinks
Gah! It
Haiku # 61839, January 26, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by I want my money back
Lick your inner wrists
Now hold them in the air
Kangaroo A/C
Haiku # 61838, January 26, 2019 9:29 pm ET
by Kangaroo of Australia
high humidity
another stinking hot day
enough already
Haiku # 61837, January 26, 2019 9:23 pm ET
by ash
Seen on milk carton
Abducted: Darth Figpucker
Darth, please come home now
Haiku # 61836, January 26, 2019 8:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oh I wouldn't mind
Come out of hibernation
A friendly bear hug
Haiku # 61835, January 26, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by When Hairy met Silly of Bear Trail
Gentle wave rises...
happy fishermen look up;
CRASH! Death. (tsunami)
Haiku # 61834, January 26, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by Yo Yo Ma of Yo Mama
of course some bears are
very hairy guys...I'm a bear
shall i maul you then :)
Haiku # 61833, January 26, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by vhs
Did we give up pork
It's just been chicken and fish
Eat out every day
Haiku # 61832, January 26, 2019 6:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bears and who they maul
Common Denominator
God damn foolishness
Haiku # 61831, January 26, 2019 6:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i think we are thinking
of the evil dead movies
as to evil trees...
Haiku # 61830, January 26, 2019 6:00 pm ET
by vhs
nyaahh...pearls before swine
so they say of the treasures of the earth
"I have the body of a pig...grunt, grunt"
Haiku # 61829, January 26, 2019 5:59 pm ET
by vhs
Rising to power
A force to be reckoned with
John Boy Walton's Mole
Haiku # 61828, January 26, 2019 5:58 pm ET
by Ignoring this facial growth of Pimple is n the ass of progress
In the Walden Woods
The trees will pull your pants off
And tickle your nuts
Haiku # 61827, January 26, 2019 5:56 pm ET
by Outdoor Enthusiasts
the ones who are your
elders who are enlightened show
or listen to you

pride versus love
Haiku # 61826, January 26, 2019 5:44 pm ET
by vhs
Frumpy old liberals
Think they are so enlightened
But they're just frumpy
Haiku # 61825, January 26, 2019 4:31 pm ET
by Frump Derangement
Well I'll go to walden
anyways screw what some guy
or gal on twitter says
Haiku # 61824, January 26, 2019 4:03 pm ET
by vhs
Those frumpy womnen
Will suck the life out of you
Five Alarm Blow Jobs
Haiku # 61823, January 26, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Dickspatcher of Station
Sno-Cone Machiine Gun
Rat a tat Rat a Tat Splat
Fecal Fudge Flavour
Haiku # 61822, January 26, 2019 2:00 pm ET
by 7-11 24/7 of #2
Bro, what's not to love
Your God created us all
In his own image
Haiku # 61821, January 26, 2019 1:58 pm ET
by Creature of the Lordt
Old balding Leftists
Nasty frumpy Lib women
They are all so vile
Haiku # 61820, January 26, 2019 8:29 am ET
by God God and more GOD
Farting machine gun
Rat a tat Rat a tat splat
Can your ass do that?
Haiku # 61819, January 26, 2019 3:33 am ET
by You know who of You know where
When they come for you
Will anybody notice?
Who will hear your scream?
Haiku # 61818, January 25, 2019 10:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Took her dog style too
Always left her wanting more
Puny pink penis
Haiku # 61817, January 25, 2019 7:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thoreau was a fake.
Ate meals at his sister's house.
Not at WALDEN POND.
Haiku # 61816, January 25, 2019 5:27 pm ET
by Transcend THIS, dimwit
Hung up my girdle
From a low hanging tree branch
Some pervert swiped it
Haiku # 61815, January 25, 2019 5:04 pm ET
by Girdle less in the forest
Tree stump down yonder
Designated fart hassock
The comforts of home
Haiku # 61814, January 25, 2019 5:02 pm ET
by A place for everything of Everything in its place
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