Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 29 Days and 76809 Haiku later...

My name was Cegno
They confiscated my smokes
Kept me in small room

I answered all their questions
And they let me go
Haiku # 60964, November 15, 2018 11:18 pm ET
by Cegno
Such redundancy;
Haiku does the red dunce-dance:
Excremental health.
Haiku # 60963, November 15, 2018 11:04 pm ET
by Execration of Excremeditation
That Darth Figpucker
Somewhere eating balut eggs
And Durian farts
Haiku # 60962, November 15, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Attention: Poets!
Was I just reading James Joyce?
Or was that Joyce James
Haiku # 60961, November 15, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by Ellen Jamesian of Blow Job
Don't listen to her
My sister has been on my street since I got a sister to the sister who was a sister sister who has a sister who is my woman woman I have a sister who is my woman woman I have a sister who is my woman woman I have a lot of work on the way she is and I have a lot to do and I am a sister sister and I have been able for the best way she said that I have a lot to say
Haiku # 60960, November 15, 2018 12:05 am ET
by Her sister
My sister was on her way she was like a woman and I am a woman who has a lot to say to the people that I have been told not yet I have to say I have been the same as a person and I'm a good person to say that the person I was a person to say I have a lot to do and not do anything for a person that is a woman who is not the woman that person who has a lot to do is just not a person that is a person and I have to be the woman that has a lot of things to say about her
Haiku # 60959, November 14, 2018 11:54 pm ET
by Person of With a lot to say
I don't have much to
do with this place anymore
I feel like a lot

of what I have done
on line has brought a side of
myself out that makes

me want to delete the whole thing
Haiku # 60958, November 14, 2018 10:04 pm ET
by vhs
Politics - nothing
to do with being polite,
but a parasite.

Poly, Greek for many.
Ticks, blood sucking parasites.
Therefore politics.
Haiku # 60957, November 14, 2018 5:54 pm ET
by df
Swoosh mush mush mush
Swoosh swoosh mush mush flush
Just wiping my tush
Haiku # 60956, November 14, 2018 3:24 pm ET
by Flush of In no rush
Tremendous, YUGE YUGE
Haiku # 60955, November 14, 2018 12:38 pm ET
by Trump of Mirror
Wipe out deficit.
Trump raped hard on Pay-Per-View.
Bigly yuge profits.

You must admit it.
Who WOULDN'T pay to see THAT!
Well, besides Sanders.
Haiku # 60954, November 14, 2018 7:36 am ET
by df
You say Trump is bad.
He's sure got a purty mouth.
Orange Deliverance.
Haiku # 60953, November 14, 2018 7:28 am ET
by df of Funny how a billionaire can bring out the hillbilly in people.
Debunking theories
Mosquitoes aren't attractive
Criminals walk free
Haiku # 60952, November 14, 2018 5:01 am ET
by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
Bad haiku is bad
Very, very bad like Trump
Everyone agrees
Haiku # 60951, November 14, 2018 4:38 am ET
by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
Concise poetry.
Perceived as being profound.
You give it meaning.
Haiku # 60950, November 14, 2018 4:33 am ET
by the hair of the dog
Cryzosza mi fucq
Cognoscenti ni senza
Fazool na prexii
Haiku # 60949, November 14, 2018 12:37 am ET
by Cegno
Do vegetables poop?
I've never had a garden
Do they poop out soil?
Haiku # 60948, November 13, 2018 10:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All poetry smells
Curried turds and curdled words
Greasy gopher farts
Haiku # 60947, November 13, 2018 8:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cracking pygmies open
Like Harry and David nuts
Get at the sweet meat
Haiku # 60946, November 13, 2018 8:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Reamed garden gnome ass
Napoleon's slippery dick
Caught them in the act!

That upset stomach
Swallowed too much plastic cum
Met his Waterglue
Haiku # 60945, November 13, 2018 8:14 pm ET
by Historian
Dead poets smell bad.
And their poetry smells worse.
Ask Robin Williams.
Haiku # 60944, November 13, 2018 7:26 pm ET
by df
Wet thumb to the wind
Disgruntled seabirds. Bent mast.
Who spiked the brownies?
Haiku # 60943, November 13, 2018 5:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gnomes, little people,
dwarves, midgets, runts, and pigmies.
Napoleon's kids.

For an emperor,
he was one whorin' mofo.
Sidious, take note!
Haiku # 60942, November 13, 2018 5:30 pm ET
by df
Do not eat pussy.
You must devour that shit!
Make her feel consumed.
Haiku # 60941, November 13, 2018 5:24 pm ET
by df
Poops of tomorrow.
Funkin' hairy hos. Pubic floss.
Preened from Allah's beard.
Haiku # 60940, November 13, 2018 5:23 pm ET
by df
How would you describe
Garden gnomes' ejaculate?
Smelly superglue
Haiku # 60939, November 13, 2018 4:35 pm ET
by Person of In the know
Soups of Yesteryear
Shrunken cheerios. Pussy hairs.
Gleaned from Ahab's beard
Haiku # 60938, November 13, 2018 4:30 pm ET
by Little Shaver
Ocean brine freezes.
It clings to the old man's beard.
A familiar friend.
Haiku # 60937, November 13, 2018 4:15 pm ET
by the hair of the dog
Grunting in the rain
Wiping with the biggest leaves
Damp. dank. A delight
Haiku # 60936, November 13, 2018 2:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No one ever sees
So I have set up brocadcast
Next bowel movement
Haiku # 60935, November 13, 2018 2:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
When I see name Darth
I know what it will smell like.
I don't bother read
Haiku # 60934, November 13, 2018 7:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I knew a queer kid.
He held a branch to his groin
and petted a tree.

He liked to be punched.
And always piss off bullies.
Jizzed his pants when beat.

He didn't live long.
Got killed by a homeless dude.
The best thing for him.

I laughed when I heard.
I know that sounds really bad.
But you just don't know.
Haiku # 60933, November 13, 2018 7:49 am ET
by df
When midgets dress up
and look just like garden gnomes
with crotchless panties.
Haiku # 60932, November 13, 2018 7:40 am ET
by df
The doc was surprised.
I had Dutch Elm in my ass.
How did that happen?!
Haiku # 60931, November 13, 2018 7:38 am ET
by df
Listen, Elm tree here
I talk all day and all night
I tell dirty jokes

Haiku # 60930, November 13, 2018 4:01 am ET
by Elm tree
Trees know how to speak.
They talk about the weather.
So no one listens.
Haiku # 60929, November 13, 2018 3:47 am ET
by the hair of the dog
You smoking spider plants again
Haiku # 60928, November 13, 2018 1:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku # 60927, November 13, 2018 1:30 am ET
by Small questions
Which do you prefer
The real deal or garden gnomes?
Little Superstar!
Haiku # 60926, November 13, 2018 1:27 am ET
by He
Dwarves always do that.
Snow White's honeymoon was strange.
Well, back then it was.

Nowadays not so.
Post-wedding midget orgies.
Commonplace these days.
Haiku # 60925, November 13, 2018 1:14 am ET
by df
It's not that simple
I have kept the bugs away
With a magic spell

It's temporary
I adjusted your fart smell
This keeps them at bay

You now attract horny dwarves
They'll climb up your schlong!!
Haiku # 60924, November 12, 2018 10:07 pm ET
by You know who
This is crazy but
since my brain bleeding it seems
mosquitoes won't bite.

Like maybe my blood
is clotting more than normal
and they don't want it.

I know, it's bizarre.
But I swear to you it's true.
And I hate them more.

Their death brings me joy.
If only they were sentient.
I could hear their screams.
Haiku # 60923, November 12, 2018 9:41 pm ET
by df
Penes paninis.
Dolphin cock on toasted rye.
Why? Because we can.
Haiku # 60922, November 12, 2018 9:27 pm ET
by df. The life goal of of all Asians is to eat at least once every animal on this planet.
Human Tortoise Man
Live in your own dugout ass
It's one stop shopping

And might I add here
As I finished my Haiku
My dog cut a fart

He was climbing up
To sit with me on the chair
That's when he let wind
Haiku # 60921, November 12, 2018 7:53 pm ET
by Me of Keeping you in the loop
Super volcano.
Yellowstone apocalypse.
God I love YouTube!
Haiku # 60920, November 12, 2018 7:33 pm ET
The ass smell of dog
is indeed the dog's perfume.
Channel #5.

Tortoises eat poop.
But I have no idea why.
Protein or microbes.

Maybe I'll try it.
Could be why they live so long.
And what a great life!

Eating grass and poop.
Living in a dug out hole.
Yeah, I could do that.
Haiku # 60919, November 12, 2018 7:29 pm ET
Standard Poodle dog
Manicured nails. French perfume
Still got smelly ass
Haiku # 60918, November 12, 2018 5:56 pm ET
by Master of Pet Salon
Bears up on the roof!
Shazam! Shazam! Wankwankwank!!
Under arm fart sound
Haiku # 60917, November 12, 2018 5:53 pm ET
by Goofus
The smell of your yawn
Is of Werther's and dead fish
Stop eating out Gran
Haiku # 60916, November 12, 2018 2:35 pm ET
by Commas are funny
'Twas a perfect storm
Mark Wahlberg jizzed off the deck
Battened the hatches
Haiku # 60915, November 12, 2018 2:32 pm ET
by Mother Goose of Storytime
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