Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

I know what it is
Got a headless conjoined twin
Call it double junk
Haiku # 60730, November 3, 2018 11:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wouldn't know what DVDA was if not for Matt Stone and Trey Parker. What would Brian Boitano Do?
Haiku # 60729, November 3, 2018 10:52 pm ET
by
Thanksgiving themed porn.
Pilgrims bang Poke-a-hot-ass,
the big chief's daughter.

Let us bow our heads.
Lord, we thank you for this feast
of pussy and tits.

"I like the fish pie."
Licking whipped cream off her tits.
Let's stuff this here bird.

Mock English accents.
Olden-speak DVDA.
She was stuffed alright!
Haiku # 60728, November 3, 2018 10:50 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Pilgrims pulling penis
Pumpkin pie pig-out packs pounds
Pilgrim Poontang
Haiku # 60727, November 3, 2018 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hood boss VHS
He's in charge of pies this year
He'll prolly fuck them
Haiku # 60726, November 3, 2018 9:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Making hand turkeys
So boring. Trace Grandad's schlong!
It's a shapeshifter
Haiku # 60725, November 3, 2018 9:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Corn acreage here
Save the cobs to wipe our bums
Huge turkey wattle!

What a hearty meal
Feel free to unzip your pants
Free your blunderbus
Haiku # 60724, November 3, 2018 9:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You say "circle jerk"
As if that would be a bad thing.
Turkey grease on palms.

Extra white gravy.
Do not let it go to waste.
Mixed with your stuffing.
Haiku # 60723, November 3, 2018 9:27 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A bottled green gas
would be the perfect stinky
x-mas gift for me.

X-mas from the ass.
The lass passed gas from her ass,
bottled in clear gas.

The gas was off-green,
looking sort of like chlorine,
But much more toxic.
Haiku # 60722, November 3, 2018 9:23 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The first Thanksgiving
Wasn't it a circle jerk
Around the table?
Haiku # 60721, November 3, 2018 7:57 pm ET
by Choked and Stuffed Chicken
That ain't no crime, Darth
You left a work of art there
Hanging in the loo
Haiku # 60720, November 3, 2018 7:35 pm ET
by Sure stinx
The longer I live
The more I look like Santa
I want to believe
Haiku # 60719, November 3, 2018 7:27 pm ET
by Big belly, whiskers, white hair, jolly eyes of And I have a vagina
Forget about a kiss
Mistletoe Fellatio
A gift from our dog
Haiku # 60718, November 3, 2018 7:24 pm ET
by He bites
Bottling my farts
To give as holiday gifts
Some are Grinch green, too
Haiku # 60717, November 3, 2018 7:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Now shout it from the rooftops!
You can be a star
Haiku # 60716, November 3, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I forgot to flush.
That's, my friend, my only crime.
Death sentence imposed.

Ah, fuck it, not in the mood to count.
5757575757557575757575. piss on it.

Take the o from count.
Then release your flatulence.
Then repeat step one.

You've got cunthfart cunt.

JOY!
Haiku # 60715, November 3, 2018 6:19 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Breaking down the wind
One fart at a time. Mindful.
Yeah, God would like that
Haiku # 60714, November 3, 2018 6:11 pm ET
by Wind Breaker of Wind
Sir Darth Figpucker
A fugitive from justice
Conditioner Theft
Haiku # 60713, November 3, 2018 4:42 pm ET
by Slipped out through the bars of the jail of Greased Longpig hard to catch
Mustard on his dick
Ketchup on his balls. What's next?
Mayo on the walls
Haiku # 60712, November 3, 2018 4:39 pm ET
by Condiment for Condoms meant for of Formula 409
An abusuve God
Who needs it. Trash Deadbeat dad
Dude, give it a rest
Haiku # 60711, November 3, 2018 4:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You make the art here.
Get your head out of your ass.
Fear God. Then create.
Haiku # 60710, November 3, 2018 11:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Here there is no art.
I think I've said that before.
No one believes me.
Haiku # 60709, November 3, 2018 8:27 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I do not
Haiku # 60708, November 3, 2018 8:26 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Give that girl some mustard!
Haiku # 60707, November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The penis is a hot dog.
Haiku # 60706, November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The Grinch has dog penis.
Haiku # 60705, November 3, 2018 8:24 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The dog has grinch feet
Haiku # 60704, November 3, 2018 1:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Even though I
Haiku # 60703, November 3, 2018 1:25 am ET
by Diarrhea dancer
With each somersault
I release diarrhea
Look, I made a trail
Haiku # 60702, November 3, 2018 1:22 am ET
by Acrobutt
Doc. Darth Figpucker
His Haiku can cure the sick
Stop Diarrhea
Haiku # 60701, November 3, 2018 1:21 am ET
by Sick person
Do midgets have big dicks?
Or do they just look bigger
On midget body
Haiku # 60700, November 3, 2018 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
YOU give her cunnilingus.
Haiku # 60699, November 3, 2018 1:13 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It only lets me write one line of haiku
Haiku # 60698, November 3, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Because I have watery of Diarrhea
Give your wife cunnilingus
Haiku # 60697, November 3, 2018 12:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have diarrhea
Haiku # 60696, November 3, 2018 12:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are midgets
Haiku # 60695, November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are midgets
Haiku # 60694, November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wanted to goose you
Make your neck hairs stand on end
Maybe something else
Haiku # 60693, November 3, 2018 12:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just want a smidgen
I guess I need new sandals
You hear me creepin
Haiku # 60692, November 3, 2018 12:38 am ET
by Jeez us of Eye of the Tiger
I can smell Jesus
Like a hot musky tiger
Prowling for my soul
Haiku # 60691, November 3, 2018 12:26 am ET
by Religious Inexperience
I rigged all the votes.
President Figpucker has
a nice ring to it.
Haiku # 60690, November 2, 2018 8:00 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Starkitten, you'd just
need a small strap on green bean.
She would never know.
Haiku # 60689, November 2, 2018 7:44 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'm so excited
about vote-rigging and fraud
Bring it on, twinkies
Haiku # 60688, November 2, 2018 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sorry. HIS fat wife...
Or should I say "Rubenesque".
No penis. Got it.
Haiku # 60687, November 2, 2018 4:56 pm ET
by Figpucker Intervention Squad
I can't fuck your wife
I'm a woman. Have no penis.
She'd know the difference
Haiku # 60686, November 2, 2018 3:20 pm ET
by Starkitten
Your fat horny wife
Waits in vain for your Haiku.
(Your well-placed Haiku . . .)
Haiku # 60685, November 2, 2018 11:39 am ET
by Haiku Police of Syllabic Task-Force Unit 575
My fat horny wife is waiting for me to come to be and I'm not in the mood to hump a sack of lard right now so I'm staying up pretending to work but instead really just writing shit on here so I don't have to pound the pig tonight and smell that fat woman sweat and I wish she would get really drunk so I'd just pay someone else to fuck her and she'd think it was me. Starkitten, you want some extra cash? I'd ask Cuntfart Cunt, but Jesus, diseases, you know.
Haiku # 60684, November 2, 2018 10:28 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'd be shit-faced drunk,
Lying in my own vomit.
But no, calculus.
Haiku # 60683, November 2, 2018 10:22 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
And sadly, of course,
if you read my haiku, then
you can smell my corpse.
Haiku # 60682, November 2, 2018 10:06 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
What's amazing is
that when I read your haiku,
I can see your corpse.
Haiku # 60681, November 2, 2018 10:04 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
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