Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 27 Days and 76204 Haiku later...

I come here for fun
I have no immune system
Don't see anyone
Haiku # 59429, September 17, 2018 10:19 pm ET
by Starkitten of Plastic Travoltaless Bubble
I love all of you
And I love your Bad Haiku
Cunnilingus too!
Haiku # 59428, September 17, 2018 10:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
i want to let it all go
Haiku # 59427, September 17, 2018 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
Cunning Linguistics,
Cunning Linguistics, and more
Cunning Linguistics!
Haiku # 59426, September 17, 2018 9:59 pm ET
by Tsar Shittin'
Leave now, vhs.
Give your Dell to charity.
Go wander the earth.

Write a large book.
Call it, "Haiku hurt my butt"
Learn to play guitar.

You can be famous.
Women, money, hard drugs, guns,
fast cars, and Jesus.
Haiku # 59425, September 17, 2018 9:55 pm ET
by df of Just kidding, you know we love you!
Got 2 turntables...
You're like a broken record
Akashic Record
Haiku # 59424, September 17, 2018 9:48 pm ET
by Starkitten
Dang, you all so whack
I'm just like: this Haiku shit
Is for reelz, gnome sain?
Haiku # 59422, September 17, 2018 9:32 pm ET
by the Untouchable White Master of Ebonics
Wait until Thursday
Thoreauback Thursday, my friend
Return to nature
Haiku # 59421, September 17, 2018 9:08 pm ET
by Starkitten of Ten Penny Henry David Thoreaully enjoying himself
there's an urge to walk
away from all of this and just
turn all of this off
Haiku # 59420, September 17, 2018 8:57 pm ET
by vhs
John Boy Walton's mole
Won five Golden Globe Awards
Got laid all the time
Haiku # 59419, September 17, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by Starkitten of Walton's Mountain. John Boy Walton's mole's room
Cleaned grandfather clock
I mean cleaned our Grandpa's cock
Polished Grandpa's knob
Haiku # 59418, September 17, 2018 8:40 pm ET
by Starkitten of Walton's Mountain: The Lost Episodes
12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Haiku # 59417, September 17, 2018 8:06 pm ET
by figures it's vhs
I've gotten so old
that I forgot how to count.
One, two, three, four... then?
Haiku # 59416, September 17, 2018 6:37 pm ET
by df
A cup of coffee.
A good bowel movement.
The morning's complete.
Haiku # 59415, September 17, 2018 6:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, the Highly Inappropriate
Ordering pizza
Having it delivered here
Like Jeff Spicoli
Haiku # 59414, September 17, 2018 6:26 pm ET
by Starkitten of Fast Times at Pacific Northwest High
Furnace repair man
Should have married one. Oily smell!
Intoxicating!!
Haiku # 59413, September 17, 2018 6:00 pm ET
by Starkitten
Wicked Whoopie Pies
Gooey frosting overload
Stephen King's jizzum
Haiku # 59412, September 17, 2018 12:36 pm ET
by Starkitten
Poopie Pants Supreme,
Master of All Toilet Bowls,
Clogger of Sewers!
Haiku # 59411, September 17, 2018 11:29 am ET
by
Not always, my man.
I wish she would go bye bye.
She's gotten so fat!
Haiku # 59410, September 17, 2018 11:28 am ET
by
Calling Starkitten:
Hey, how about something new
(like... talk about sex)
Haiku # 59409, September 17, 2018 11:10 am ET
by and by, the peace of pie in the sky
The Way Life Should Be ?
Yet more third-world immigrants;
Vacationland . . . not.
Haiku # 59408, September 17, 2018 11:06 am ET
by the way, I am aware of recent events in Lewiston
Need some more, more, MORE!
Gimme verses, got to score
Rushing, to the core.
Haiku # 59407, September 17, 2018 10:59 am ET
by Haiku is one hell of a drug
Pilipina bride
marry American man.
Get green card. Bye bye!
Haiku # 59406, September 17, 2018 10:56 am ET
by the wave-lapped shores of Paradise
TRUMP still our king.
Left try almost everything.
Now fat lady sing!
Haiku # 59405, September 17, 2018 10:50 am ET
by now you should beware the madness of the Progressive Mind
Them pale, fat Maine girls:
Locked up half year in wintuh.
Ayuh, finest kind . . .
Haiku # 59404, September 17, 2018 10:43 am ET
by Somewhere south of Skowhegan
That Downeast Maine charm:
Blackflies, beanos, snow . . .
It's still wicked good!
Haiku # 59403, September 17, 2018 10:37 am ET
by golly them flatlanduhs is full of their own piss and vineguh
Heaven, without you
would be no Heaven at all.
You better get SAVED !
Haiku # 59402, September 17, 2018 10:33 am ET
by the Glorious Gospel of our Lord and Savior
Twerking in grade school
has replaced mathematics,
writing, and drug use.

I miss shooting up
at kindergarten recess.
Ah, the good old days.

Now it's pole dancing
to pop music like strippers
and I want to puke.
Haiku # 59401, September 17, 2018 8:46 am ET
by
irony versus
blasphemy, do not tempt me
my cross, torn, rotted
Haiku # 59400, September 17, 2018 8:45 am ET
by vhs
That delicacy
Art Bell mentioned it on air
Coast to Coast program
Haiku # 59399, September 17, 2018 2:37 am ET
by Starkitten of I like cereal
From the Philippines.
Dog stew and chicken fetus.
Google "balut egg".

My wife's drunk brother
ate three of those on fine night.
Made me want to barf.

They eat it at night
so they won't have to see it.
Also they're drunk then.

Virgin prostitutes.
A land of hypocrisy.
Pride and pollution.
Haiku # 59398, September 17, 2018 1:51 am ET
by
Nana from Rockland
Starkitten from New England
Give me some fried clams
Rockland
Haiku # 59397, September 16, 2018 9:41 pm ET
by Starkitten
I"m fine here you see
Maine you know Maine? That place
tell everyone else...

out out out!
Haiku # 59396, September 16, 2018 8:54 pm ET
by vhs of apple orchards and lobsters and blueberries
Okay, enough fun.
I have to get back to work.
But first I'll go Trump.
Haiku # 59395, September 16, 2018 8:37 pm ET
by rekcupgiF htraD of 9th Level of Hell. It's nice here. Fishing, nice cheese markets, fresh fruit, clean air. You'd like it here.
Schwan's man is so hot
His whole truckload defrosted
Showed him my haiku
Haiku # 59394, September 16, 2018 8:34 pm ET
by Starkitten
You think my spirit
cannot write a bad haiku?!
I am George Carlin!
Haiku # 59393, September 16, 2018 8:33 pm ET
by George Carlin's Spirit
When I poop I say,
"Time to take a Donald Trump."
But that insults poop.

Poop can make things grow.
Trump is just a parasite.
Financial tapeworm.
Haiku # 59392, September 16, 2018 8:31 pm ET
by Alan Greenspan
carlin is dead...kay
i saw him in 1995
but he's dead now kay
Haiku # 59391, September 16, 2018 8:28 pm ET
by vhs
Cunt shit motherfuck.
Titty ass cock-sucker bitch.
Twat balls Donald Trump.
Haiku # 59390, September 16, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by George Carlin
Fuel up. Breakfast shake
High fructose goon syrup
Soar like an eagle!

Aerobic Dancing
Breakdancing on old cardboard!
Bustin' all my moves
Haiku # 59389, September 16, 2018 2:04 pm ET
by Starkitten of Killing it
They never tell you
The meat was squirrel or possum
Til dessert arrives
Haiku # 59388, September 15, 2018 10:49 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fall. Leaves underfoot
Hello dog mess my old friend
Stepped in you again
Haiku # 59387, September 15, 2018 10:43 pm ET
by Starkitten
Wrinkled Grandfather
Whittling on the front porch
New dildo for Gran

Wilfred Brimleyesque
Werther's candy in pockets
Sticky. Fossilized.
Haiku # 59386, September 15, 2018 10:32 pm ET
by Starkitten
Leaves crunch underfoot
Bear defecating in woods.
Old question answered
Haiku # 59385, September 15, 2018 10:28 pm ET
by Starkitten
Cover in silence
Gliding leaf brings joy once more
Mountains reach sudden
Haiku # 59384, September 15, 2018 10:06 pm ET
by MONARCH
I think after all
is said and done whatever
we do we're all fucked...
Haiku # 59383, September 15, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by vhs of but live while you still got the gift of life
Ass candles galore
Illuminating nada
coal black hole prevails
Haiku # 59382, September 15, 2018 8:21 pm ET
by Lush
Can of pink salmon
They kept it as a house pet
At least three decades
Haiku # 59381, September 15, 2018 7:24 pm ET
by Starkitten
I show up on time
Nose to the haiku grindstone
Big promotion soon
Haiku # 59380, September 15, 2018 7:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
just play dark side of
the moon while watching said hated
films, fun for all

munchkin suicides
illuminati symbols
and melting witches
Haiku # 59379, September 15, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by vhs
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