Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 255 Days and 77188 Haiku later...

From the Philippines.
Dog stew and chicken fetus.
Google "balut egg".

My wife's drunk brother
ate three of those on fine night.
Made me want to barf.

They eat it at night
so they won't have to see it.
Also they're drunk then.

Virgin prostitutes.
A land of hypocrisy.
Pride and pollution.
Haiku # 59398, September 17, 2018 1:51 am ET
Nana from Rockland
Starkitten from New England
Give me some fried clams
Haiku # 59397, September 16, 2018 9:41 pm ET
by Starkitten
I"m fine here you see
Maine you know Maine? That place
tell everyone else...

out out out!
Haiku # 59396, September 16, 2018 8:54 pm ET
by vhs of apple orchards and lobsters and blueberries
Okay, enough fun.
I have to get back to work.
But first I'll go Trump.
Haiku # 59395, September 16, 2018 8:37 pm ET
by rekcupgiF htraD of 9th Level of Hell. It's nice here. Fishing, nice cheese markets, fresh fruit, clean air. You'd like it here.
Schwan's man is so hot
His whole truckload defrosted
Showed him my haiku
Haiku # 59394, September 16, 2018 8:34 pm ET
by Starkitten
You think my spirit
cannot write a bad haiku?!
I am George Carlin!
Haiku # 59393, September 16, 2018 8:33 pm ET
by George Carlin's Spirit
When I poop I say,
"Time to take a Donald Trump."
But that insults poop.

Poop can make things grow.
Trump is just a parasite.
Financial tapeworm.
Haiku # 59392, September 16, 2018 8:31 pm ET
by Alan Greenspan
carlin is dead...kay
i saw him in 1995
but he's dead now kay
Haiku # 59391, September 16, 2018 8:28 pm ET
by vhs
Cunt shit motherfuck.
Titty ass cock-sucker bitch.
Twat balls Donald Trump.
Haiku # 59390, September 16, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by George Carlin
Fuel up. Breakfast shake
High fructose goon syrup
Soar like an eagle!

Aerobic Dancing
Breakdancing on old cardboard!
Bustin' all my moves
Haiku # 59389, September 16, 2018 2:04 pm ET
by Starkitten of Killing it
They never tell you
The meat was squirrel or possum
Til dessert arrives
Haiku # 59388, September 15, 2018 10:49 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fall. Leaves underfoot
Hello dog mess my old friend
Stepped in you again
Haiku # 59387, September 15, 2018 10:43 pm ET
by Starkitten
Wrinkled Grandfather
Whittling on the front porch
New dildo for Gran

Wilfred Brimleyesque
Werther's candy in pockets
Sticky. Fossilized.
Haiku # 59386, September 15, 2018 10:32 pm ET
by Starkitten
Leaves crunch underfoot
Bear defecating in woods.
Old question answered
Haiku # 59385, September 15, 2018 10:28 pm ET
by Starkitten
Cover in silence
Gliding leaf brings joy once more
Mountains reach sudden
Haiku # 59384, September 15, 2018 10:06 pm ET
I think after all
is said and done whatever
we do we're all fucked...
Haiku # 59383, September 15, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by vhs of but live while you still got the gift of life
Ass candles galore
Illuminating nada
coal black hole prevails
Haiku # 59382, September 15, 2018 8:21 pm ET
by Lush
Can of pink salmon
They kept it as a house pet
At least three decades
Haiku # 59381, September 15, 2018 7:24 pm ET
by Starkitten
I show up on time
Nose to the haiku grindstone
Big promotion soon
Haiku # 59380, September 15, 2018 7:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
just play dark side of
the moon while watching said hated
films, fun for all

munchkin suicides
illuminati symbols
and melting witches
Haiku # 59379, September 15, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by vhs
Barry Manilow
Can't smile without you, Dude
Turn frown upside down
Haiku # 59378, September 15, 2018 2:54 pm ET
by Starkitten
Just for the record
I hate The Wizard of Oz
Thank you for your time

Haiku # 59377, September 15, 2018 1:08 pm ET
by Starkitten
i wonder if i
make darth say his name backwards
he goes back to the

fifth dimension for
5 months like that little guy
from the superman
Haiku # 59376, September 15, 2018 9:09 am ET
by vhs of rewind...nah, so 1980s
Hey, hold out your arm
I'll give you a free tattoo
Make it: Bad Haiku
Haiku # 59375, September 15, 2018 12:43 am ET
by Starkitten
I wrote you a check
For one million Bad Haiku
The least I could do
Haiku # 59374, September 15, 2018 12:08 am ET
by Starkitten
VHS, confess
You like Starkitten Haiku
Just a little bit
Haiku # 59373, September 14, 2018 9:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
The age old question
Which part of you is the dink?
I love Aliens!
Haiku # 59372, September 14, 2018 9:12 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest XXX Files
Or meet a fun gal
Perhaps her yeast infection
Will raise your spirits
Haiku # 59371, September 14, 2018 9:07 pm ET
by Starkitten
Watch for bad mushroom
You might land on a "fungi"
With a bad disease
Haiku # 59370, September 14, 2018 9:04 pm ET
by Starkitten
Try nude somersaults
In your front yard or a park
Careful after dark
Haiku # 59369, September 14, 2018 9:03 pm ET
by Starkitten
Yes, Cunnilingus.
Mathematician in the house?
Calories burned/hour
Haiku # 59368, September 14, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fuck Sylvia Plath.
Dig up her bones and fuck them.
Put one up your ass.
Haiku # 59367, September 14, 2018 8:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I would like to lose
about thirty pounds or more
to run marathons.
Haiku # 59366, September 14, 2018 8:56 pm ET
mmhmm, i don't think
she had that great a deal for
a husband right there
Haiku # 59365, September 14, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by Goku! of the why for sylvia plath
Counting syllables
is for samurai who wished
they were bookkeepers.
Haiku # 59364, September 14, 2018 8:42 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Well, it's obvious
that Starkitten's obsession
is cunnilingus.

Cat that eats pussy.
Surely cannibalism.
But which one comes first?

cannibalistic feline
Haiku # 59363, September 14, 2018 8:38 pm ET
A happy ending
If his name had been Ted Huge
Some Cunning Linguist
Haiku # 59362, September 14, 2018 8:34 pm ET
by Starkitten
Head in the oven,
Tortured, sefish, bad free verse.
Behold Plath: success !
Haiku # 59361, September 14, 2018 7:40 pm ET
by this time , I'm so sick of modernist poetry
Previewing Haiku
Like admiring a fresh turd
Before you flush it
Haiku # 59360, September 14, 2018 6:45 pm ET
by Starkitten
Please make this happen
Bono Vox and Cher team up
Sing I got You Babe

Kind of a klutz too
Wiped out on bike. Central Park.
Not sure if he skis
Haiku # 59359, September 14, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Starkitten
Your private juices
Just a dab behind your ear
That will do the trick
Haiku # 59358, September 14, 2018 2:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Starkitten
Head in the oven.
Taken from behind, again!
Can't get housework done!!
Haiku # 59357, September 14, 2018 2:25 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fantasy Island
Blind man with no sense of smell
He's perfect for you
Haiku # 59356, September 14, 2018 2:23 pm ET
by Starkitten
A witchy cauldron
Cunnilingus Corn Maze. Run!
You will burn in Hell!
Haiku # 59355, September 14, 2018 2:18 pm ET
by Starkitten
Equine Jenga Game
Tower of Copulation
Looks like a hot mess!
Haiku # 59354, September 14, 2018 2:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
Now watch me neigh neigh
New Horseshoes! Clip Clop Clip Clop!
Road apples for you
Haiku # 59353, September 14, 2018 2:09 pm ET
by Starkitten
With the new enhanced neurons that Elon Musk is inventing kangaroos can be programmed to deliver packages in their pouches. Look out UPS, FedEx, and USPS!
Doesn't "Elon Musk" sound like a trashy perfume name?
I'm not a robot... yet. But perhaps soon... perhaps.
Haiku # 59352, September 14, 2018 1:25 pm ET
I will never stop
Tap dancing on your sidewalk
Schizophrenic bitch!
Haiku # 59351, September 14, 2018 12:01 pm ET
by Starkitten
Northern Exposure
The Farmers Market pervert
Cucumber in hand
Haiku # 59350, September 14, 2018 12:00 pm ET
by Starkitten
Grey Sky Festival
Fresh Haiku bubbling up
Straight from my gizzards
Haiku # 59349, September 14, 2018 11:57 am ET
by Starkitten
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