BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
29 Days
and
66563 Haikus
later...
The age old question
Which part of you is the dink?
I love Aliens!
Haiku #59372, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest XXX Files
September 14, 2018 9:12 pm ET

Or meet a fun gal
Perhaps her yeast infection
Will raise your spirits
Haiku #59371, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 9:07 pm ET

Watch for bad mushroom
You might land on a "fungi"
With a bad disease
Haiku #59370, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 9:04 pm ET

Try nude somersaults
In your front yard or a park
Careful after dark
Haiku #59369, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 9:03 pm ET

Yes, Cunnilingus.
Mathematician in the house?
Calories burned/hour
Haiku #59368, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 9:00 pm ET

Fuck Sylvia Plath.
Dig up her bones and fuck them.
Put one up your ass.
Haiku #59367, by Darth Figpucker
September 14, 2018 8:58 pm ET

I would like to lose
about thirty pounds or more
to run marathons.
Haiku #59366, by
September 14, 2018 8:56 pm ET

mmhmm, i don't think
she had that great a deal for
a husband right there
Haiku #59365, by Goku! of the why for sylvia plath
September 14, 2018 8:50 pm ET

Counting syllables
is for samurai who wished
they were bookkeepers.
Haiku #59364, by Darth Figpucker
September 14, 2018 8:42 pm ET

Well, it's obvious
that Starkitten's obsession
is cunnilingus.

Cat that eats pussy.
Surely cannibalism.
But which one comes first?

Simultaneous
cannibalistic feline
ejaculation.
Haiku #59363, by
September 14, 2018 8:38 pm ET

A happy ending
If his name had been Ted Huge
Some Cunning Linguist
Haiku #59362, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 8:34 pm ET

Head in the oven,
Tortured, sefish, bad free verse.
Behold Plath: success !
Haiku #59361, by this time , I'm so sick of modernist poetry
September 14, 2018 7:40 pm ET

Previewing Haiku
Like admiring a fresh turd
Before you flush it
Haiku #59360, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 6:45 pm ET

Please make this happen
Bono Vox and Cher team up
Sing I got You Babe

Kind of a klutz too
Wiped out on bike. Central Park.
Not sure if he skis
Haiku #59359, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 4:32 pm ET

Your private juices
Just a dab behind your ear
That will do the trick
Haiku #59358, by Anonymous Poet of Starkitten
September 14, 2018 2:31 pm ET

Head in the oven.
Taken from behind, again!
Can't get housework done!!
Haiku #59357, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 2:25 pm ET

Fantasy Island
Blind man with no sense of smell
He's perfect for you
Haiku #59356, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 2:23 pm ET

A witchy cauldron
Cunnilingus Corn Maze. Run!
You will burn in Hell!
Haiku #59355, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 2:18 pm ET

Equine Jenga Game
Tower of Copulation
Looks like a hot mess!
Haiku #59354, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 2:16 pm ET

Now watch me neigh neigh
New Horseshoes! Clip Clop Clip Clop!
Road apples for you
Haiku #59353, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 2:09 pm ET

With the new enhanced neurons that Elon Musk is inventing kangaroos can be programmed to deliver packages in their pouches. Look out UPS, FedEx, and USPS!
Doesn't "Elon Musk" sound like a trashy perfume name?
I'm not a robot... yet. But perhaps soon... perhaps.
Haiku #59352, by
September 14, 2018 1:25 pm ET

I will never stop
Tap dancing on your sidewalk
Schizophrenic bitch!
Haiku #59351, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 12:01 pm ET

Northern Exposure
The Farmers Market pervert
Cucumber in hand
Haiku #59350, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 12:00 pm ET

Grey Sky Festival
Fresh Haiku bubbling up
Straight from my gizzards
Haiku #59349, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 11:57 am ET

Stuck in the window
Like Magilla Gorilla
Just might go apeshit!
Haiku #59348, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 11:54 am ET

Tongues are wagging!
Ye Olde Cunnilingus Shoppe
The talk of the town
Haiku #59347, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 11:26 am ET

Rearranging things
Reversed your nose and penis
You're such a dickhead
Haiku #59346, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 12:48 am ET

Downward facing dong
Hot Yoga happy ending
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Haiku #59345, by Starktten
September 14, 2018 12:39 am ET

bad santa
Haiku #59344, by vhs of q anon knows whos been naughty
September 13, 2018 10:51 pm ET

Great mall memories
That's Ken Berry jacking off
In your Kinney shoe
Haiku #59343, by Starkitten
September 13, 2018 10:33 pm ET

Hunched out in long coils
The turds of one thousand dogs
All in your honour
Haiku #59342, by Starkitten
September 13, 2018 10:25 pm ET

Got my shopping done
Giving everyone Haiku
This one is for you
Haiku #59341, by Anonymous Poet
September 13, 2018 10:06 pm ET

Pictures with Santa
Your mom had her portrait done
Sitting on his dick
Haiku #59340, by Anonymous Poet
September 13, 2018 10:03 pm ET

woof woof woff, woof woof
woff bark bark woof howllll arf arf
woof woof woof...meow
Haiku #59339, by vhs of getting ready for the dogs barking jingle bells song
September 13, 2018 5:26 pm ET

Mall walk stomach cramp?
Seen your telltale hopping dance
You methane shaman

Disappear like Jim
Come on baby light my fire
Blue flame blast your pants

Dirty underwear
Scattered on Dawn's Highway, huh?
Plus size Underoos?
Haiku #59338, by Anonymous Poet
September 13, 2018 5:15 pm ET

And I too, have been
That doomed stranger in the mall
Asking "who farted" ?
Haiku #59337, by no means denigrating your case of poetic flatulence
September 13, 2018 3:06 pm ET

That breathy Bono:
Furious virtue-signaler
Hypocrite has-been.

Most of U2's songs
Are monotonous, and lack
Vibrant chord changes

Making up for it
In breathy histrionics
And churning fadeouts
Haiku #59336, by the way, most people haven't heard of Paul David what's his name
September 13, 2018 3:01 pm ET

A thousand dog turds.
Was an incomplete sentence.
And another one.
Haiku #59335, by
September 13, 2018 9:57 am ET

I have taken to
farting loudly as I walk
by strangers in malls.
Haiku #59334, by
September 13, 2018 9:55 am ET

Her enormous cunt,
gushing like Niagara Falls,
drowned the little man.
Haiku #59333, by
September 13, 2018 9:53 am ET

beaming into space
the facebook apocalypse
pouting narcissists

in dorito hues
instagram influencers
sell oblivion

our planet choking
in the rush to die pretty
ignorance distracts

it's all about me
aren't i the most important
as we go extinct
Haiku #59332, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:44 am ET

chemotherapy
wasn't as bad as i thought
luckily for me

complete remission
at least for the time being
till something kills me
Haiku #59331, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:30 am ET

being humorous
sure beats being tumorous
rather die laughing
Haiku #59330, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:28 am ET

i got lymphoma
and seemed to become a cancer
formerly known as...
Haiku #59329, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:26 am ET

and of course the end
of the beginning, the whole phantom menace debacle
Haiku #59328, by vhs of it was not that bad
September 12, 2018 7:19 pm ET

names phrases words, vite
stimuli, some french dead guy
wrote a book just read
Haiku #59327, by vhs
September 12, 2018 7:18 pm ET

Do the same old thing
Like the zombie that you are.
Then try a new way
Haiku #59326, by learning to think of something beyond your SELF
September 12, 2018 10:32 am ET

Quick, make a "haiku"
Fling it out there like garbage
In order, then, to
Haiku #59325, by create a new name of everlasting GLORY
September 12, 2018 10:28 am ET

You wear "Pussy Hat"?
Pussy is an orifice.
Ain't no hat involved.
Haiku #59324, by Delusions of Feminism
September 12, 2018 10:23 am ET

The Book of Daniel
And St. John's Revelation:
Doomsday bestsellers
Haiku #59323, by it's always the beginning of the End
September 12, 2018 10:17 am ET