BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
67 Days
69674 Haikus
That breathy Bono:
Furious virtue-signaler
Hypocrite has-been.

Most of U2's songs
Are monotonous, and lack
Vibrant chord changes

Making up for it
In breathy histrionics
And churning fadeouts
Haiku #59336, by the way, most people haven't heard of Paul David what's his name
September 13, 2018 3:01 pm ET

A thousand dog turds.
Was an incomplete sentence.
And another one.
Haiku #59335, by
September 13, 2018 9:57 am ET

I have taken to
farting loudly as I walk
by strangers in malls.
Haiku #59334, by
September 13, 2018 9:55 am ET

Her enormous cunt,
gushing like Niagara Falls,
drowned the little man.
Haiku #59333, by
September 13, 2018 9:53 am ET

beaming into space
the facebook apocalypse
pouting narcissists

in dorito hues
instagram influencers
sell oblivion

our planet choking
in the rush to die pretty
ignorance distracts

it's all about me
aren't i the most important
as we go extinct
Haiku #59332, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:44 am ET

wasn't as bad as i thought
luckily for me

complete remission
at least for the time being
till something kills me
Haiku #59331, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:30 am ET

being humorous
sure beats being tumorous
rather die laughing
Haiku #59330, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:28 am ET

i got lymphoma
and seemed to become a cancer
formerly known as...
Haiku #59329, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:26 am ET

and of course the end
of the beginning, the whole phantom menace debacle
Haiku #59328, by vhs of it was not that bad
September 12, 2018 7:19 pm ET

names phrases words, vite
stimuli, some french dead guy
wrote a book just read
Haiku #59327, by vhs
September 12, 2018 7:18 pm ET

Do the same old thing
Like the zombie that you are.
Then try a new way
Haiku #59326, by learning to think of something beyond your SELF
September 12, 2018 10:32 am ET

Quick, make a "haiku"
Fling it out there like garbage
In order, then, to
Haiku #59325, by create a new name of everlasting GLORY
September 12, 2018 10:28 am ET

You wear "Pussy Hat"?
Pussy is an orifice.
Ain't no hat involved.
Haiku #59324, by Delusions of Feminism
September 12, 2018 10:23 am ET

The Book of Daniel
And St. John's Revelation:
Doomsday bestsellers
Haiku #59323, by it's always the beginning of the End
September 12, 2018 10:17 am ET

a hurricane
more may be coming to do
the human clean up

so dead dare praised for
we live in the end times, again
so stories go
Haiku #59322, by vhs of hell and 666th
September 11, 2018 10:24 pm ET

sometimes people want
to forget their humanity
to play anti God

they're still just human
hitler in a bunker was
The End for that then...

Hitler Parodies
Haiku #59321, by vhs
September 11, 2018 7:33 pm ET

Fight this civil war
Lyrically, poetically...
Haiku #59320, by Enraged Projections of the Left
September 11, 2018 2:07 pm ET

of course i will
have to fight you to my death
to protect humanity

from psychopaths like yourself
Haiku #59319, by vhs
September 11, 2018 12:30 pm ET

Just make some shit up
As long as Donald looks bad:
leaky, lying press.
Haiku #59318, by Anonymous Source of Haiku
September 11, 2018 12:25 pm ET

At first I believed
The narrative as supplied.
Now I'm wondering.
Haiku #59317, by 11th of September 2001
September 11, 2018 12:16 pm ET

Time needs a fast-forward button.
Other than a 100 year journey at 99% the speed of light.
I'd love to see the end of this stupid race.
To see this planet cleansed of this horrible filth called life.
Make Earth Great Again!
Deport all life-forms. Make them pay for it.
Every last amoeba and virus. Every long protein strand.
Kick them out. Only minerals, dust, water, and lava.
And the plastic McDonald's toys you once thought were so cute.
... I am, sadly, not a robot.
Haiku #59316, by
September 11, 2018 12:09 pm ET

i remember that
day all too clearly
my old man was watching planes crash into the twin towers
and it was the only time i had seen
terror on his face
sometimes the mask comes off
3000 plus were gone
we were are vulnerable
we remember today
we are americans, methinks
Haiku #59315, by vhs
September 11, 2018 10:37 am ET

those who were raised as
youth in nazi like eras of
patriotic extroversion

in their old age drive
their decendants into desiring
to quietly obseving

their own patriotic
discourse without the mindless
savagery of their extroversion
Haiku #59314, by vhs
September 11, 2018 10:28 am ET

Hey, almost forgot:
It's September eleventh,
Day of deceptions.
Haiku #59313, by Tragicomedy of Propaganda
September 11, 2018 8:59 am ET

I am not a robot.
Of COURSE I am not a robot!
...the fuck wrong with you ?
Haiku #59312, by Hirosaki Nagashima of all the stupid names you could imagine
September 11, 2018 8:55 am ET

Not necessary !
bad Haiku verse is strictly
Haiku #59311, by Nagashima Hirosaki of Sake Tumi
September 11, 2018 8:53 am ET

This is my vengeance
upon the Haiku verse-form:
hours of boredom.
Haiku #59310, by Harajuku of Harakiri
September 11, 2018 8:50 am ET

Oh Haiku warriors,
compose yourselves. Get ready.
Battle commences.
Haiku #59309, by Sukiyaki-san of Shinjuku
September 11, 2018 8:48 am ET

I do not love you.
In fact, I think I hate you.
Lets go home and fuck.
Haiku #59308, by
September 11, 2018 3:46 am ET

You're my only friend
And I'm not sure you like me
At least I have that
Haiku #59307, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 9:53 pm ET

Saw you standing there
All covered with Bad Haiku
Sandpaper tongue bath
Haiku #59306, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest All Cat Day Spa
September 10, 2018 8:41 pm ET

Do you knit doll clothes?
No, these are penis sweaters.
What size will you need?
Haiku #59305, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Custom Knit Penis Sweaters
September 10, 2018 8:35 pm ET

Visit our kiosk
Conveniently located
In my dog's rear end
Haiku #59304, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Anal Poolius 10 % Discount for Tortoises
September 10, 2018 8:25 pm ET

Protein shake,my friend
Refreshment from dog's back end
Anal Julius
Haiku #59303, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Friendly Librarians
September 10, 2018 8:09 pm ET

Isn't it strange the way tortoises will eat dog poop. What do they know that I do not? Am I missing something here? Please research this and let me know. Anxiously awaiting your answer.
Haiku #59302, by
September 10, 2018 7:57 pm ET

Bask in full moon glow
Levitation. Magic show
Think it's gonna blow..
Haiku #59301, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 7:21 pm ET

ok mooning the moon
which rise do we rise to
in this occasion?
Haiku #59300, by vhs of spring
September 10, 2018 6:52 pm ET

Wind lift soft music
Whisker Koto. Gentle strum..
Moon Rise. See my bum!
Haiku #59299, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 6:29 pm ET

Beneath the willow
Hidden Moon on full display
No Kimono Show
Haiku #59298, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Show Cat
September 10, 2018 6:20 pm ET

Willow branches bend
My favorite of all God's trees.
Weeping and sighing
Haiku #59297, by Arboreal delerium of cheap Haiku
September 10, 2018 5:22 pm ET

Cannot glimpse your moon
Clouds have obscured the beauty
Lunar betrayal
Haiku #59296, by Intimations of lunar DOOM
September 10, 2018 5:17 pm ET

The Captain's Nosehair
All hands on deck! Pull, me hearties!
Wait! That's not his nose!
Haiku #59295, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Sea Adventures of Yesteryear
September 10, 2018 4:09 pm ET

Joke on you. Your shoe.
Naughty tree. Saved bag of poop
For certain person
Haiku #59294, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Arbor Day's of Our Lives Tree Soap Opera
September 10, 2018 4:03 pm ET

Willow tree, bending
Thoughtfully scooping, bagging
The dog shit you left
Haiku #59293, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Tree Huggers
September 10, 2018 4:00 pm ET

I'm throwing doughnuts
Unintentional Ring Toss
As you walk by nude
Haiku #59292, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Fun and Games
September 10, 2018 3:27 pm ET

Let me sketch you nude
Don't move. Got no art supplies
Just a dirty mnd
Haiku #59291, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Life Drawing for Agoraphobic Remote Viewers
September 10, 2018 3:22 pm ET

Look up! Balloon Boy!!
That little bastard again!
Fly into the sun!!!!
Haiku #59290, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 3:08 pm ET

It's going as planned
My Bill Murray voodoo doll
Is working just fine
Haiku #59289, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 3:03 pm ET

How's your day so far?
Are we having fun yet? Yes?
Showing you Full Moon
Haiku #59288, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:56 pm ET

I won't eat donuts.
Can't digest them anymore.
Donut burps for hours . . .
Haiku #59287, by Celestial schoolbus swerves off of road
September 10, 2018 2:54 pm ET