Bad Haiku

It's going as planned
My Bill Murray voodoo doll
Is working just fine

Haiku #59289, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 3:03 pm ET

How's your day so far?
Are we having fun yet? Yes?
Showing you Full Moon

Haiku #59288, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:56 pm ET

I won't eat donuts.
Can't digest them anymore.
Donut burps for hours . . .

Haiku #59287, by Celestial schoolbus swerves off of road
September 10, 2018 2:54 pm ET

Continued Outside
Laying in wait for mailman
Nude Bearhug Today!!

Haiku #59286, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Bath Salts
September 10, 2018 2:52 pm ET

Starkitten rising
luminous and poetic
behold the moonglow

Haiku #59285, by Buttcheeks against window of of celestial school bus
September 10, 2018 2:51 pm ET

Did I forget pants?
Cartwheeling. Releasing gas.
Maniacal Laugh!!!

Haiku #59284, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:36 pm ET

That kind of morning.
Hula hooping robot dance!
David Lee Roth flip!!

Haiku #59283, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Wildcat
September 10, 2018 2:33 pm ET

I want to moon you
I think we'll be best friends then
Once we get past that

Haiku #59282, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Bum Show offs
September 10, 2018 2:29 pm ET

I can't lie to you
Haiku makes me feel sneaky
Right down to my bones

Haiku #59281, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Haiku Wierdos
September 10, 2018 2:25 pm ET

Bring me some doughnuts
Plain, Glazed, Chocolate, Jelly filled
I want the real deal

Haiku #59280, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:20 pm ET

Found his Dad's yearbook:
Most likely to smote people
Had a Nerd Haircut

Haiku #59279, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 1:47 pm ET

He rode dinosaurs
Sidesaddle, giving peace sign
Way cool sandals, bro

Haiku #59278, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Jesus Trivia
September 10, 2018 1:43 pm ET

In an insane world
Compulsive Haiku writing
Makes things more insane

Haiku #59277, by Uselessness of orientalized forms
September 10, 2018 12:34 pm ET

Hey you, Free-Thinker:
I am for your liberty.
Do we hate same things?

Haiku #59276, by Koalitions of Konvenience
September 10, 2018 10:41 am ET

There's no God today.
There was no God yesterday.
Tomorrow, same-same.

Haiku #59275, by Jesus the Barbarian
September 10, 2018 10:34 am ET

Be nice. Don't offend.
Christian virtue-signaling:
Church of the Milque-Toast

Haiku #59274, by Eternal sleep of the "Woke"
September 10, 2018 9:20 am ET

stand up sit down kneel
not the church militant
but the church calisthenic

Haiku #59273, by vhs
September 10, 2018 8:56 am ET

Some cucumbers scream
When they can't find parking space
And they're running late

Haiku #59272, by Myriad roles of cucumbers
September 10, 2018 8:47 am ET

The cucumber screams
with the pleasure of being
a mere cucumber

Haiku #59271, by Garden of Eatin'
September 10, 2018 8:43 am ET

Carrots scream because
their color has been usurped
by the Evil Trump

Haiku #59270, by POTUS literal incarnation of all evil in universe
September 10, 2018 8:37 am ET

At what point did the downfall of the human race begin? Was it any one event? Or a series of catastrophic failures?
My spoon is too big.

Haiku #59269, by Anonymous Poet
September 10, 2018 7:39 am ET

If you don't believe
me about screaming carrots,
ask Reverend Maynard.

Haiku #59268, by df
September 10, 2018 7:37 am ET

Cucumbers don't scream.
Unless my wife uses one
to pleasure herself.

Carrots scream when picked.
I scream when I pick my nose.
Goddamn nose hair plucked.

Haiku #59267, by df
September 10, 2018 7:34 am ET

A bedtime hotdog
That should help you fall asleep
Nice to meet you, Frank

Haiku #59266, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 11:26 pm ET

Demi Moore loves most
Having relations with ghosts
Must have a sixth sense

Haiku #59265, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 11:22 pm ET

he insists that she
be he and he be she and
ying yanks each ones yang

Haiku #59264, by vhs
September 9, 2018 10:51 pm ET

"Not a restful sleep
When dreaming of erections"
-Pippi Longstocking

Haiku #59263, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ikea
September 9, 2018 10:43 pm ET

Blowing Bjorn? Benny?
Side dish choices are many.
Hot Swedish Meatballs

Treat for French Poodles
And atop wide egg noodles
Some folks swallow whole

Haiku #59262, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 10:29 pm ET

Sweden still asleep
Dreaming of their own demise
By diversity

Haiku #59261, by Results of their election ?
September 9, 2018 9:18 pm ET

Big wet hairy deal;
When I am drunk I cannot feel
But I make her squeal !

Haiku #59260, by Diminished sensation of sensual excitation
September 9, 2018 9:15 pm ET

Just bending over
Not looking for attention
At the window, nude

Haiku #59259, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Windows and Gutters
September 9, 2018 9:03 pm ET

Goes hard and goes soft
Never know which way he'll be
My coconut oil

Haiku #59258, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Horny Bakery
September 9, 2018 8:53 pm ET

one dish one cup one
youtube video one big
fat hairy deal now

Haiku #59257, by vhs
September 9, 2018 8:43 pm ET

Might make some brownies
If the Lizard King bought cocoa
Have everything else

Haiku #59256, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 8:16 pm ET

India. Twin Bros
Pass-winder, Hold-it-inder
Sort their underwear

Haiku #59255, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Commercial Laundry Services
September 9, 2018 7:34 pm ET

No sign of entry
But the place has been ransacked
Got cunt insurance?

Haiku #59254, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunt Insurance
September 9, 2018 7:26 pm ET

Laurel Canyon, please.
Just drop me off at Jim's place
I'm dog sitting Sage

Haiku #59253, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 6:58 pm ET

Are we to believe
Most people read Bad Haiku
Without posting one?

Haiku #59252, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Anyone here but us chickens?
September 9, 2018 6:41 pm ET

This open channel
Like that fun tube at the bank
Commnication

Haiku #59251, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest I am receiving your signal
September 9, 2018 5:53 pm ET

That old school lunch smell
Concentrated Cunt Cabbage
Old World Recipe

Haiku #59250, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Designer of You Are What You Eat poster
September 9, 2018 5:47 pm ET

wonky conky bo bonky
banana fana fo fonkey
we why woah wonkey!

Haiku #59249, by vhs
September 9, 2018 5:40 pm ET

They better have some
Cunnilingus in Heaven
And ice cream cones too

Haiku #59248, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Kooky Konvent
September 9, 2018 5:33 pm ET

Judgment Day will come
We'll find out nothing mattered
Except the Bad Haiku

Haiku #59247, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Volunteer Philosophers
September 9, 2018 5:30 pm ET

Exfoliation
Soon there will be nothing left
Of any of us

Haiku #59246, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 4:57 pm ET

Do cucumbers scream
When they are being pickled?
Asking for a friend.

Haiku #59245, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cannery
September 9, 2018 4:51 pm ET

Conjecture and Proof
Square root of cunnilingus
Is an ice cream cone

Haiku #59244, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ding Dong Cart Chasers
September 9, 2018 4:41 pm ET

Catnap Festival
Ordering delivered feast
And then more catnaps

Haiku #59243, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Catnapping Consortium
September 9, 2018 4:14 pm ET

you know i wish that
conspiracy theories were just
that dogs and cats were

in a faction of
battle between the species
for affection

Haiku #59242, by vhs
September 9, 2018 2:39 pm ET

if the internet
were still 1990s like
google would have 50 competitors

all funnier

Haiku #59241, by vhs
September 9, 2018 1:26 pm ET

cats and dogs are aliens
he coomunicates by clawing
and emracing and purring

dogs text by peeing
then smelling

Haiku #59240, by vhs
September 9, 2018 1:24 pm ET