BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
64 Days
and
69642 Haikus
later...
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It's going as planned
My Bill Murray voodoo doll
Is working just fine
Haiku #59289
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 3:03 pm ET
How's your day so far?
Are we having fun yet? Yes?
Showing you Full Moon
Haiku #59288
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:56 pm ET
I won't eat donuts.
Can't digest them anymore.
Donut burps for hours . . .
Haiku #59287
, by Celestial schoolbus swerves off of road
September 10, 2018 2:54 pm ET
Continued Outside
Laying in wait for mailman
Nude Bearhug Today!!
Haiku #59286
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Bath Salts
September 10, 2018 2:52 pm ET
Starkitten rising
luminous and poetic
behold the moonglow
Haiku #59285
, by Buttcheeks against window of of celestial school bus
September 10, 2018 2:51 pm ET
Did I forget pants?
Cartwheeling. Releasing gas.
Maniacal Laugh!!!
Haiku #59284
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:36 pm ET
That kind of morning.
Hula hooping robot dance!
David Lee Roth flip!!
Haiku #59283
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Wildcat
September 10, 2018 2:33 pm ET
I want to moon you
I think we'll be best friends then
Once we get past that
Haiku #59282
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Bum Show offs
September 10, 2018 2:29 pm ET
I can't lie to you
Haiku makes me feel sneaky
Right down to my bones
Haiku #59281
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Haiku Wierdos
September 10, 2018 2:25 pm ET
Bring me some doughnuts
Plain, Glazed, Chocolate, Jelly filled
I want the real deal
Haiku #59280
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 2:20 pm ET
Found his Dad's yearbook:
Most likely to smote people
Had a Nerd Haircut
Haiku #59279
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 1:47 pm ET
He rode dinosaurs
Sidesaddle, giving peace sign
Way cool sandals, bro
Haiku #59278
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Jesus Trivia
September 10, 2018 1:43 pm ET
In an insane world
Compulsive Haiku writing
Makes things more insane
Haiku #59277
, by Uselessness of orientalized forms
September 10, 2018 12:34 pm ET
Hey you, Free-Thinker:
I am for your liberty.
Do we hate same things?
Haiku #59276
, by Koalitions of Konvenience
September 10, 2018 10:41 am ET
There's no God today.
There was no God yesterday.
Tomorrow, same-same.
Haiku #59275
, by Jesus the Barbarian
September 10, 2018 10:34 am ET
Be nice. Don't offend.
Christian virtue-signaling:
Church of the Milque-Toast
Haiku #59274
, by Eternal sleep of the "Woke"
September 10, 2018 9:20 am ET
stand up sit down kneel
not the church militant
but the church calisthenic
Haiku #59273
, by vhs
September 10, 2018 8:56 am ET
Some cucumbers scream
When they can't find parking space
And they're running late
Haiku #59272
, by Myriad roles of cucumbers
September 10, 2018 8:47 am ET
The cucumber screams
with the pleasure of being
a mere cucumber
Haiku #59271
, by Garden of Eatin'
September 10, 2018 8:43 am ET
Carrots scream because
their color has been usurped
by the Evil Trump
Haiku #59270
, by POTUS literal incarnation of all evil in universe
September 10, 2018 8:37 am ET
At what point did the downfall of the human race begin? Was it any one event? Or a series of catastrophic failures?
My spoon is too big.
Haiku #59269
, by Anonymous Poet
September 10, 2018 7:39 am ET
If you don't believe
me about screaming carrots,
ask Reverend Maynard.
Haiku #59268
, by df
September 10, 2018 7:37 am ET
Cucumbers don't scream.
Unless my wife uses one
to pleasure herself.
Carrots scream when picked.
I scream when I pick my nose.
Goddamn nose hair plucked.
Haiku #59267
, by df
September 10, 2018 7:34 am ET
A bedtime hotdog
That should help you fall asleep
Nice to meet you, Frank
Haiku #59266
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 11:26 pm ET
Demi Moore loves most
Having relations with ghosts
Must have a sixth sense
Haiku #59265
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 11:22 pm ET
he insists that she
be he and he be she and
ying yanks each ones yang
Haiku #59264
, by vhs
September 9, 2018 10:51 pm ET
"Not a restful sleep
When dreaming of erections"
-Pippi Longstocking
Haiku #59263
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ikea
September 9, 2018 10:43 pm ET
Blowing Bjorn? Benny?
Side dish choices are many.
Hot Swedish Meatballs
Treat for French Poodles
And atop wide egg noodles
Some folks swallow whole
Haiku #59262
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 10:29 pm ET
Sweden still asleep
Dreaming of their own demise
By diversity
Haiku #59261
, by Results of their election ?
September 9, 2018 9:18 pm ET
Big wet hairy deal;
When I am drunk I cannot feel
But I make her squeal !
Haiku #59260
, by Diminished sensation of sensual excitation
September 9, 2018 9:15 pm ET
Just bending over
Not looking for attention
At the window, nude
Haiku #59259
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Windows and Gutters
September 9, 2018 9:03 pm ET
Goes hard and goes soft
Never know which way he'll be
My coconut oil
Haiku #59258
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Horny Bakery
September 9, 2018 8:53 pm ET
one dish one cup one
youtube video one big
fat hairy deal now
Haiku #59257
, by vhs
September 9, 2018 8:43 pm ET
Might make some brownies
If the Lizard King bought cocoa
Have everything else
Haiku #59256
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 8:16 pm ET
India. Twin Bros
Pass-winder, Hold-it-inder
Sort their underwear
Haiku #59255
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Commercial Laundry Services
September 9, 2018 7:34 pm ET
No sign of entry
But the place has been ransacked
Got cunt insurance?
Haiku #59254
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunt Insurance
September 9, 2018 7:26 pm ET
Laurel Canyon, please.
Just drop me off at Jim's place
I'm dog sitting Sage
Haiku #59253
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 6:58 pm ET
Are we to believe
Most people read Bad Haiku
Without posting one?
Haiku #59252
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Anyone here but us chickens?
September 9, 2018 6:41 pm ET
This open channel
Like that fun tube at the bank
Commnication
Haiku #59251
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest I am receiving your signal
September 9, 2018 5:53 pm ET
That old school lunch smell
Concentrated Cunt Cabbage
Old World Recipe
Haiku #59250
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Designer of You Are What You Eat poster
September 9, 2018 5:47 pm ET
wonky conky bo bonky
banana fana fo fonkey
we why woah wonkey!
Haiku #59249
, by vhs
September 9, 2018 5:40 pm ET
They better have some
Cunnilingus in Heaven
And ice cream cones too
Haiku #59248
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Kooky Konvent
September 9, 2018 5:33 pm ET
Judgment Day will come
We'll find out nothing mattered
Except the Bad Haiku
Haiku #59247
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Volunteer Philosophers
September 9, 2018 5:30 pm ET
Exfoliation
Soon there will be nothing left
Of any of us
Haiku #59246
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 9, 2018 4:57 pm ET
Do cucumbers scream
When they are being pickled?
Asking for a friend.
Haiku #59245
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cannery
September 9, 2018 4:51 pm ET
Conjecture and Proof
Square root of cunnilingus
Is an ice cream cone
Haiku #59244
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ding Dong Cart Chasers
September 9, 2018 4:41 pm ET
Catnap Festival
Ordering delivered feast
And then more catnaps
Haiku #59243
, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Catnapping Consortium
September 9, 2018 4:14 pm ET
you know i wish that
conspiracy theories were just
that dogs and cats were
in a faction of
battle between the species
for affection
Haiku #59242
, by vhs
September 9, 2018 2:39 pm ET
if the internet
were still 1990s like
google would have 50 competitors
all funnier
Haiku #59241
, by vhs
September 9, 2018 1:26 pm ET
cats and dogs are aliens
he coomunicates by clawing
and emracing and purring
dogs text by peeing
then smelling
Haiku #59240
, by vhs
September 9, 2018 1:24 pm ET
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