Bring me some doughnuts
Plain, Glazed, Chocolate, Jelly filled
I want the real deal
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  
 
			
Found his Dad's yearbook:
Most likely to smote people
Had a Nerd Haircut
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest 
 
			
He rode dinosaurs
Sidesaddle, giving peace sign
Way cool sandals, bro
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Jesus Trivia 
 
			
In an insane world
Compulsive Haiku writing
Makes things more insane
by Uselessness of orientalized forms 
 
			
Hey you, Free-Thinker:
I am for your liberty.
Do we hate same things?
by Koalitions  of Konvenience 
 
			
There's no God today.
There was no God yesterday.
Tomorrow, same-same.
by Jesus the Barbarian
 
			
Be nice. Don't offend.
Christian virtue-signaling:
Church of the Milque-Toast
by Eternal sleep of the "Woke" 
 
			
stand up sit down kneel
not the church militant
but the church calisthenic
by vhs
 
			
Some cucumbers scream
When they can't find parking space
And they're running late
by Myriad roles of cucumbers 
 
			
The cucumber screams
with the pleasure of being
 a mere cucumber
by Garden of Eatin' 
 
			
Carrots scream because
their color has been usurped
by the Evil Trump
by POTUS literal incarnation  of all evil in universe 
 
			
At what point did the downfall of the human race begin?  Was it any one event?  Or a series of catastrophic failures?
My spoon is too big.
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
If you don't believe
me about screaming carrots,
ask Reverend Maynard.
by df
 
			
Cucumbers don't scream.
Unless my wife uses one
to pleasure herself.
Carrots scream when picked.
I scream when I pick my nose.
Goddamn nose hair plucked.
by df
 
			
A bedtime hotdog
That should help you fall asleep
Nice to meet you, Frank
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  
 
			
Demi Moore loves most 
Having relations with ghosts
Must have a sixth sense
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  
 
			
he insists that she
be he and he be she and
ying yanks each ones yang
by vhs
 
			
"Not a restful sleep
When dreaming of erections"
-Pippi Longstocking
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Ikea 
 
			
Blowing Bjorn? Benny?
Side dish choices are many.
Hot Swedish Meatballs
Treat for French Poodles
And atop wide egg noodles
Some folks swallow whole
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  
 
			
Sweden still asleep
Dreaming of their own demise
By diversity
by Results  of their election ? 
 
			
Big wet hairy deal;
When I am drunk I cannot feel
But I make her squeal !
by Diminished sensation  of sensual excitation 
 
			
Just bending over
Not looking for attention
At the window, nude
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Windows and Gutters 
 
			
Goes hard and goes soft
Never know which way he'll be
My coconut oil
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Horny Bakery 
 
			
one dish one cup one
youtube video one big
fat hairy deal now
by vhs
 
			
Might make some brownies
If the Lizard King bought cocoa
Have everything else
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  
 
			
India. Twin Bros
Pass-winder, Hold-it-inder 
Sort their underwear
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Commercial Laundry Services 
 
			
No sign of entry
But the place has been ransacked 
Got cunt insurance?
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Cunt Insurance 
 
			
Laurel Canyon, please.
Just drop me off at Jim's place
I'm dog sitting Sage
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  
 
			
Are we to believe
Most people read Bad Haiku
Without posting one?
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  Anyone here but us chickens? 
 
			
This open channel
Like that fun tube at the bank
Commnication
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest I am receiving your signal 
 
			
That old school lunch smell
Concentrated Cunt Cabbage
Old World Recipe
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  Designer of You Are What You Eat poster 
 
			
wonky conky bo bonky
banana fana fo fonkey
we why woah wonkey!
by vhs
 
			
They better have some 
Cunnilingus in Heaven
And ice cream cones too
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Kooky Konvent 
 
			
Judgment Day will come
We'll find out nothing mattered
Except the Bad Haiku
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Volunteer Philosophers 
 
			
Exfoliation 
Soon there will be nothing left
Of any of us
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest  
 
			
Do cucumbers scream
When they are being pickled?
Asking for a friend.
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Cannery 
 
			
Conjecture and Proof
Square root of cunnilingus
Is an ice cream cone
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Ding Dong Cart Chasers 
 
			
Catnap Festival 
Ordering delivered feast
And then more catnaps
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Catnapping Consortium  
 
			
you know i wish that
conspiracy theories were just
that dogs and cats were
in a faction of
battle between the species
for affection
by vhs
 
			
if the internet 
were still 1990s like
google would have 50 competitors
all funnier
by vhs
 
			
cats and dogs are aliens
he coomunicates by clawing
and emracing and purring
dogs text by peeing
then smelling
by vhs
 
			
im not an atheist
so ive chosen to believe in something
dukes of hazard
by vhs of confederate flag 
 
			
if we had four genders
the concept of a menange a tois
would be incomplete
by vhs
 
			
existential framework
reality is a warped
sense of god thought
by vhs of when sex becomes meaningless 
 
			
wondering if you
should have done stand up rather
than just mathematics
by vhs
 
			
Thing about Japan:
Getting drunk and vomiting
Part of their culture
by Images of staggering Tokyo businessmen 
 
			
Everything lacquered
Fake acquiescence, bowing
Robotic toilets
by Sort of makes you wonder about Japan... 
 
			
Freaking Japanese:
Cutesy icons, groupthink and
Hyperesthetics
by Ex-lover of the Orient 
 
			
Sorry I was mad.
(Haiku brings out worst in me,
Unlike Starkitten)
by in awe of Yoko Ono 
 
			
Pickles and ice cream?
Anything for you, Goku
Some of my Bad Haiku?
by Starkitten  of Pacific Northwest Caring Doula Services and Seahorse Blow Job Artisrty