Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 259 Days and 71094 Haikus later...

Bring me some doughnuts
Plain, Glazed, Chocolate, Jelly filled
I want the real deal
Haiku # 59280, September 10, 2018 2:20 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Found his Dad's yearbook:
Most likely to smote people
Had a Nerd Haircut
Haiku # 59279, September 10, 2018 1:47 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
He rode dinosaurs
Sidesaddle, giving peace sign
Way cool sandals, bro
Haiku # 59278, September 10, 2018 1:43 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Jesus Trivia
In an insane world
Compulsive Haiku writing
Makes things more insane
Haiku # 59277, September 10, 2018 12:34 pm ET
by Uselessness of orientalized forms
Hey you, Free-Thinker:
I am for your liberty.
Do we hate same things?
Haiku # 59276, September 10, 2018 10:41 am ET
by Koalitions of Konvenience
There's no God today.
There was no God yesterday.
Tomorrow, same-same.
Haiku # 59275, September 10, 2018 10:34 am ET
by Jesus the Barbarian
Be nice. Don't offend.
Christian virtue-signaling:
Church of the Milque-Toast
Haiku # 59274, September 10, 2018 9:20 am ET
by Eternal sleep of the "Woke"
stand up sit down kneel
not the church militant
but the church calisthenic
Haiku # 59273, September 10, 2018 8:56 am ET
by vhs
Some cucumbers scream
When they can't find parking space
And they're running late
Haiku # 59272, September 10, 2018 8:47 am ET
by Myriad roles of cucumbers
The cucumber screams
with the pleasure of being
a mere cucumber
Haiku # 59271, September 10, 2018 8:43 am ET
by Garden of Eatin'
Carrots scream because
their color has been usurped
by the Evil Trump
Haiku # 59270, September 10, 2018 8:37 am ET
by POTUS literal incarnation of all evil in universe
At what point did the downfall of the human race begin? Was it any one event? Or a series of catastrophic failures?
My spoon is too big.
Haiku # 59269, September 10, 2018 7:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you don't believe
me about screaming carrots,
ask Reverend Maynard.
Haiku # 59268, September 10, 2018 7:37 am ET
by df
Cucumbers don't scream.
Unless my wife uses one
to pleasure herself.

Carrots scream when picked.
I scream when I pick my nose.
Goddamn nose hair plucked.
Haiku # 59267, September 10, 2018 7:34 am ET
by df
A bedtime hotdog
That should help you fall asleep
Nice to meet you, Frank
Haiku # 59266, September 9, 2018 11:26 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Demi Moore loves most
Having relations with ghosts
Must have a sixth sense
Haiku # 59265, September 9, 2018 11:22 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
he insists that she
be he and he be she and
ying yanks each ones yang
Haiku # 59264, September 9, 2018 10:51 pm ET
by vhs
"Not a restful sleep
When dreaming of erections"
-Pippi Longstocking
Haiku # 59263, September 9, 2018 10:43 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ikea
Blowing Bjorn? Benny?
Side dish choices are many.
Hot Swedish Meatballs

Treat for French Poodles
And atop wide egg noodles
Some folks swallow whole
Haiku # 59262, September 9, 2018 10:29 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Sweden still asleep
Dreaming of their own demise
By diversity
Haiku # 59261, September 9, 2018 9:18 pm ET
by Results of their election ?
Big wet hairy deal;
When I am drunk I cannot feel
But I make her squeal !
Haiku # 59260, September 9, 2018 9:15 pm ET
by Diminished sensation of sensual excitation
Just bending over
Not looking for attention
At the window, nude
Haiku # 59259, September 9, 2018 9:03 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Windows and Gutters
Goes hard and goes soft
Never know which way he'll be
My coconut oil
Haiku # 59258, September 9, 2018 8:53 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Horny Bakery
one dish one cup one
youtube video one big
fat hairy deal now
Haiku # 59257, September 9, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by vhs
Might make some brownies
If the Lizard King bought cocoa
Have everything else
Haiku # 59256, September 9, 2018 8:16 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
India. Twin Bros
Pass-winder, Hold-it-inder
Sort their underwear
Haiku # 59255, September 9, 2018 7:34 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Commercial Laundry Services
No sign of entry
But the place has been ransacked
Got cunt insurance?
Haiku # 59254, September 9, 2018 7:26 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunt Insurance
Laurel Canyon, please.
Just drop me off at Jim's place
I'm dog sitting Sage
Haiku # 59253, September 9, 2018 6:58 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Are we to believe
Most people read Bad Haiku
Without posting one?
Haiku # 59252, September 9, 2018 6:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Anyone here but us chickens?
This open channel
Like that fun tube at the bank
Commnication
Haiku # 59251, September 9, 2018 5:53 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest I am receiving your signal
That old school lunch smell
Concentrated Cunt Cabbage
Old World Recipe
Haiku # 59250, September 9, 2018 5:47 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Designer of You Are What You Eat poster
wonky conky bo bonky
banana fana fo fonkey
we why woah wonkey!
Haiku # 59249, September 9, 2018 5:40 pm ET
by vhs
They better have some
Cunnilingus in Heaven
And ice cream cones too
Haiku # 59248, September 9, 2018 5:33 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Kooky Konvent
Judgment Day will come
We'll find out nothing mattered
Except the Bad Haiku
Haiku # 59247, September 9, 2018 5:30 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Volunteer Philosophers
Exfoliation
Soon there will be nothing left
Of any of us
Haiku # 59246, September 9, 2018 4:57 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Do cucumbers scream
When they are being pickled?
Asking for a friend.
Haiku # 59245, September 9, 2018 4:51 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cannery
Conjecture and Proof
Square root of cunnilingus
Is an ice cream cone
Haiku # 59244, September 9, 2018 4:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ding Dong Cart Chasers
Catnap Festival
Ordering delivered feast
And then more catnaps
Haiku # 59243, September 9, 2018 4:14 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Catnapping Consortium
you know i wish that
conspiracy theories were just
that dogs and cats were

in a faction of
battle between the species
for affection
Haiku # 59242, September 9, 2018 2:39 pm ET
by vhs
if the internet
were still 1990s like
google would have 50 competitors

all funnier
Haiku # 59241, September 9, 2018 1:26 pm ET
by vhs
cats and dogs are aliens
he coomunicates by clawing
and emracing and purring

dogs text by peeing
then smelling
Haiku # 59240, September 9, 2018 1:24 pm ET
by vhs
im not an atheist
so ive chosen to believe in something
dukes of hazard
Haiku # 59239, September 9, 2018 1:23 pm ET
by vhs of confederate flag
if we had four genders
the concept of a menange a tois
would be incomplete
Haiku # 59238, September 9, 2018 1:21 pm ET
by vhs
existential framework
reality is a warped
sense of god thought
Haiku # 59237, September 9, 2018 1:19 pm ET
by vhs of when sex becomes meaningless
wondering if you
should have done stand up rather
than just mathematics
Haiku # 59236, September 9, 2018 9:58 am ET
by vhs
Thing about Japan:
Getting drunk and vomiting
Part of their culture
Haiku # 59235, September 9, 2018 5:40 am ET
by Images of staggering Tokyo businessmen
Everything lacquered
Fake acquiescence, bowing
Robotic toilets
Haiku # 59234, September 9, 2018 5:29 am ET
by Sort of makes you wonder about Japan...
Freaking Japanese:
Cutesy icons, groupthink and
Hyperesthetics
Haiku # 59233, September 9, 2018 5:22 am ET
by Ex-lover of the Orient
Sorry I was mad.
(Haiku brings out worst in me,
Unlike Starkitten)
Haiku # 59232, September 9, 2018 5:10 am ET
by in awe of Yoko Ono
Pickles and ice cream?
Anything for you, Goku
Some of my Bad Haiku?
Haiku # 59231, September 8, 2018 11:29 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Caring Doula Services and Seahorse Blow Job Artisrty
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