There's no God today.
There was no God yesterday.
Tomorrow, same-same.
by Jesus the Barbarian
Be nice. Don't offend.
Christian virtue-signaling:
Church of the Milque-Toast
by Eternal sleep of the "Woke"
stand up sit down kneel
not the church militant
but the church calisthenic
by vhs
Some cucumbers scream
When they can't find parking space
And they're running late
by Myriad roles of cucumbers
The cucumber screams
with the pleasure of being
a mere cucumber
by Garden of Eatin'
Carrots scream because
their color has been usurped
by the Evil Trump
by POTUS literal incarnation of all evil in universe
At what point did the downfall of the human race begin? Was it any one event? Or a series of catastrophic failures?
My spoon is too big.
by Anonymous Poet
If you don't believe
me about screaming carrots,
ask Reverend Maynard.
by df
Cucumbers don't scream.
Unless my wife uses one
to pleasure herself.
Carrots scream when picked.
I scream when I pick my nose.
Goddamn nose hair plucked.
by df
A bedtime hotdog
That should help you fall asleep
Nice to meet you, Frank
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Demi Moore loves most
Having relations with ghosts
Must have a sixth sense
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
he insists that she
be he and he be she and
ying yanks each ones yang
by vhs
"Not a restful sleep
When dreaming of erections"
-Pippi Longstocking
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ikea
Blowing Bjorn? Benny?
Side dish choices are many.
Hot Swedish Meatballs
Treat for French Poodles
And atop wide egg noodles
Some folks swallow whole
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Sweden still asleep
Dreaming of their own demise
By diversity
by Results of their election ?
Big wet hairy deal;
When I am drunk I cannot feel
But I make her squeal !
by Diminished sensation of sensual excitation
Just bending over
Not looking for attention
At the window, nude
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Windows and Gutters
Goes hard and goes soft
Never know which way he'll be
My coconut oil
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Horny Bakery
one dish one cup one
youtube video one big
fat hairy deal now
by vhs
Might make some brownies
If the Lizard King bought cocoa
Have everything else
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
India. Twin Bros
Pass-winder, Hold-it-inder
Sort their underwear
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Commercial Laundry Services
No sign of entry
But the place has been ransacked
Got cunt insurance?
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunt Insurance
Laurel Canyon, please.
Just drop me off at Jim's place
I'm dog sitting Sage
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Are we to believe
Most people read Bad Haiku
Without posting one?
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Anyone here but us chickens?
This open channel
Like that fun tube at the bank
Commnication
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest I am receiving your signal
That old school lunch smell
Concentrated Cunt Cabbage
Old World Recipe
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Designer of You Are What You Eat poster
wonky conky bo bonky
banana fana fo fonkey
we why woah wonkey!
by vhs
They better have some
Cunnilingus in Heaven
And ice cream cones too
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Kooky Konvent
Judgment Day will come
We'll find out nothing mattered
Except the Bad Haiku
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Volunteer Philosophers
Exfoliation
Soon there will be nothing left
Of any of us
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Do cucumbers scream
When they are being pickled?
Asking for a friend.
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cannery
Conjecture and Proof
Square root of cunnilingus
Is an ice cream cone
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ding Dong Cart Chasers
Catnap Festival
Ordering delivered feast
And then more catnaps
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Catnapping Consortium
you know i wish that
conspiracy theories were just
that dogs and cats were
in a faction of
battle between the species
for affection
by vhs
if the internet
were still 1990s like
google would have 50 competitors
all funnier
by vhs
cats and dogs are aliens
he coomunicates by clawing
and emracing and purring
dogs text by peeing
then smelling
by vhs
im not an atheist
so ive chosen to believe in something
dukes of hazard
by vhs of confederate flag
if we had four genders
the concept of a menange a tois
would be incomplete
by vhs
existential framework
reality is a warped
sense of god thought
by vhs of when sex becomes meaningless
wondering if you
should have done stand up rather
than just mathematics
by vhs
Thing about Japan:
Getting drunk and vomiting
Part of their culture
by Images of staggering Tokyo businessmen
Everything lacquered
Fake acquiescence, bowing
Robotic toilets
by Sort of makes you wonder about Japan...
Freaking Japanese:
Cutesy icons, groupthink and
Hyperesthetics
by Ex-lover of the Orient
Sorry I was mad.
(Haiku brings out worst in me,
Unlike Starkitten)
by in awe of Yoko Ono
Pickles and ice cream?
Anything for you, Goku
Some of my Bad Haiku?
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Caring Doula Services and Seahorse Blow Job Artisrty
Passing out cigars
Future Haiku Superstars
Resting in Dad's pouch
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Immaculate (in a kinky way) Conception Holy Seahorse Sodality
Like haiku seahorse
You carry all our babies
So call me,maybe?
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cigar Shop
Starkitten teach you
Relax, picture gentle stream
Now go change your pants
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Enuresis Representative
Oh dear, friend Goku
Not to put pressure on you
U the Haiku Dad
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest EPT
So full of Haiku
I thought I was expecting.
First Prize....Collecting.
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Lactation Vacation Destination
