BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
6 Days
and
66434 Haikus
later...
Do cucumbers scream
When they are being pickled?
Asking for a friend.
Haiku #59245, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cannery
September 9, 2018 4:51 pm ET

Conjecture and Proof
Square root of cunnilingus
Is an ice cream cone
Haiku #59244, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ding Dong Cart Chasers
September 9, 2018 4:41 pm ET

Catnap Festival
Ordering delivered feast
And then more catnaps
Haiku #59243, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Catnapping Consortium
September 9, 2018 4:14 pm ET

you know i wish that
conspiracy theories were just
that dogs and cats were

in a faction of
battle between the species
for affection
Haiku #59242, by vhs
September 9, 2018 2:39 pm ET

if the internet
were still 1990s like
google would have 50 competitors

all funnier
Haiku #59241, by vhs
September 9, 2018 1:26 pm ET

cats and dogs are aliens
he coomunicates by clawing
and emracing and purring

dogs text by peeing
then smelling
Haiku #59240, by vhs
September 9, 2018 1:24 pm ET

im not an atheist
so ive chosen to believe in something
dukes of hazard
Haiku #59239, by vhs of confederate flag
September 9, 2018 1:23 pm ET

if we had four genders
the concept of a menange a tois
would be incomplete
Haiku #59238, by vhs
September 9, 2018 1:21 pm ET

existential framework
reality is a warped
sense of god thought
Haiku #59237, by vhs of when sex becomes meaningless
September 9, 2018 1:19 pm ET

wondering if you
should have done stand up rather
than just mathematics
Haiku #59236, by vhs
September 9, 2018 9:58 am ET

Thing about Japan:
Getting drunk and vomiting
Part of their culture
Haiku #59235, by Images of staggering Tokyo businessmen
September 9, 2018 5:40 am ET

Everything lacquered
Fake acquiescence, bowing
Robotic toilets
Haiku #59234, by Sort of makes you wonder about Japan...
September 9, 2018 5:29 am ET

Freaking Japanese:
Cutesy icons, groupthink and
Hyperesthetics
Haiku #59233, by Ex-lover of the Orient
September 9, 2018 5:22 am ET

Sorry I was mad.
(Haiku brings out worst in me,
Unlike Starkitten)
Haiku #59232, by in awe of Yoko Ono
September 9, 2018 5:10 am ET

Pickles and ice cream?
Anything for you, Goku
Some of my Bad Haiku?
Haiku #59231, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Caring Doula Services and Seahorse Blow Job Artisrty
September 8, 2018 11:29 pm ET

Passing out cigars
Future Haiku Superstars
Resting in Dad's pouch
Haiku #59230, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Immaculate (in a kinky way) Conception Holy Seahorse Sodality
September 8, 2018 11:26 pm ET

Like haiku seahorse
You carry all our babies
So call me,maybe?
Haiku #59229, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cigar Shop
September 8, 2018 9:20 pm ET

Starkitten teach you
Relax, picture gentle stream
Now go change your pants
Haiku #59228, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Enuresis Representative
September 8, 2018 9:14 pm ET

Oh dear, friend Goku
Not to put pressure on you
U the Haiku Dad
Haiku #59227, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest EPT
September 8, 2018 9:12 pm ET

So full of Haiku
I thought I was expecting.
First Prize....Collecting.
Haiku #59226, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Lactation Vacation Destination
September 8, 2018 9:08 pm ET

it's late, i had a
bit of high blood pressure and
now i get the day

off, not an off day
Haiku #59225, by Goku
September 8, 2018 9:07 pm ET

i feel like one man's
personalities are at
each other in "rap..."
Haiku #59224, by Goku....
September 8, 2018 6:50 pm ET

Bring it ON, bitches.
I'll kick your lightweight asses
with Haiku verses
Haiku #59223, by Your poems are born of your lyrical weakness
September 8, 2018 6:20 pm ET

Yoko Ono can't
Overcome her slant-eye past:
Modern esthetics
Haiku #59222, by Yoko Ono is a symptom of our godless culture
September 8, 2018 6:14 pm ET

Go synthesize THIS,
mere Haiku poetaster:
Poetry hates you.
Haiku #59221, by Crisis of poetic meaning
September 8, 2018 6:06 pm ET

Left tard with full flush:
Bring on your dialectic.
Fuck your synthesis !
Haiku #59220, by King of Ace from outer space
September 8, 2018 6:01 pm ET

Horse fart telegram!
Delivered to your sad face.
Methane Tumbleweed!!
Haiku #59219, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Horse Hotel
September 8, 2018 5:53 pm ET

Replaced his glass eyes
With his wife's used Ben Wa Balls
Now gives you Stinkeyes
Haiku #59218, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Optometry
September 8, 2018 5:41 pm ET

Unmistakable!
Dance of the Constipated
Want to go-go dance

Left turd with no flush
Guilty feet. Got no rhythm.
George Michael wiz here
Haiku #59217, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest School of Rest Room Attendant Training
September 8, 2018 5:36 pm ET

Ten Penny Henry
Used pennies. Not dimes! Cheater!!
Demi wanted More.
Haiku #59216, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Blockbusters Video
September 8, 2018 4:30 pm ET

An apparition
Balancing coins on his dink
Meet Patrick Swayze
Haiku #59215, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Currency Exchange
September 8, 2018 4:28 pm ET

Come for the ice cream
Stay for the cunnilingus
69 Flavours
Haiku #59214, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Popsicle Stand
September 8, 2018 4:21 pm ET

Moon Ceremony
We walk together. Tails High.
Scat illuminated
Haiku #59213, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Litterpan Fillers
September 8, 2018 4:07 pm ET

Starkitten laugh now
Haiku of old alley cat
Meow of Innocence
Haiku #59212, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 8, 2018 4:03 pm ET

When I crave Haiku
Starkitten won't disappoint:
sleaze, sleaze and more sleaze
Haiku #59211, by Mind of the Beholder
September 8, 2018 2:26 pm ET

Wasted Caviar
Abandoned Aquarium
Yoko Ono's cunt
Haiku #59210, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Fish R Us
September 8, 2018 1:42 pm ET

Sampled the buffet
Infection d'yeast: Soup of Day
Ball Cheese crudités
Haiku #59209, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Genital Catering Service
September 8, 2018 1:36 pm ET

Sarah Jessica
Ferris Bueler Dutch ovened
Horsefaced Biodome
Encouraged to fart freely


Yes, as I recall
Your exact words: Ambrosia
Our
Haiku #59208, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 8, 2018 1:31 pm ET

Whiskers twitch. You rang?
You win Golden Pen today
Speak Haikulingus
Haiku #59207, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 8, 2018 1:16 pm ET

The banquet commenced,
fussy in pace. But my wish
was pussy in face.
Haiku #59206, by Haiku Disciple of Starkitten
September 8, 2018 10:41 am ET

My horse-face sky-girl
releases celestial light
through rear orifice
Haiku #59205, by Dreaming of Celestina in AZ
September 8, 2018 10:20 am ET

Freaky horse-face girl
beautiful, ultra-violet:
my kind of E.T
Haiku #59204, by Celestial Bodies of the Night Sky
September 8, 2018 10:16 am ET

I farted quickly
then she came; clouds of glory
bliss greater than stench
Haiku #59203, by Blue Flame of Methane
September 8, 2018 10:12 am ET

Wait wait wait... my bad.
It's the Brazillians that are
hard into fart porn.
Haiku #59202, by
September 8, 2018 10:11 am ET

Now I am inspired !
Fart-talk here on Bad Haiku:
my inner gas-child ☺
Haiku #59201, by Me, thane of free-verse flatulence
September 8, 2018 10:09 am ET

my mind is evil
law lf attraction vs a
grace of God thing, kay?
Haiku #59200, by goku!! of serve God not man, even if she is in latex
September 8, 2018 9:03 am ET

politicians...

we're usually fucked when they
are in office
Haiku #59199, by goku?
September 8, 2018 9:01 am ET

I could fart on you.
If only you would let me.
Just like in Japan.
Haiku #59198, by
September 8, 2018 9:00 am ET

There was a fat frog.
It liked to swim and eat bugs.
That's pretty much it.
Haiku #59197, by
September 8, 2018 8:58 am ET

I came too quickly.
She was not happy at all.
And then I farted.
Haiku #59196, by
September 8, 2018 8:57 am ET