BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
11 Days
and
68885 Haikus
later...
Now I am inspired !
Fart-talk here on Bad Haiku:
my inner gas-child ☺
Haiku #59201, by Me, thane of free-verse flatulence
September 8, 2018 10:09 am ET

my mind is evil
law lf attraction vs a
grace of God thing, kay?
Haiku #59200, by goku!! of serve God not man, even if she is in latex
September 8, 2018 9:03 am ET

politicians...

we're usually fucked when they
are in office
Haiku #59199, by goku?
September 8, 2018 9:01 am ET

I could fart on you.
If only you would let me.
Just like in Japan.
Haiku #59198, by
September 8, 2018 9:00 am ET

There was a fat frog.
It liked to swim and eat bugs.
That's pretty much it.
Haiku #59197, by
September 8, 2018 8:58 am ET

I came too quickly.
She was not happy at all.
And then I farted.
Haiku #59196, by
September 8, 2018 8:57 am ET

Give leprechauns head
Invite them to bed. You'll see.
Money, Money! Yeah!
Haiku #59195, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 8, 2018 2:49 am ET

Law of Attraction
Get a piece of the action
Visualize it, dude
Haiku #59194, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Bank of Starkitten
September 8, 2018 2:43 am ET

Fuck a giant clam
Risky! Dick might get a slam
Wham bam thank you clam
Haiku #59193, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Aquarium
September 8, 2018 2:38 am ET

I want tons of cash,
but don't want to work for it.
Any suggestions?
Haiku #59192, by
September 8, 2018 2:30 am ET

So what do you think's
the most inappropriate
animal to fuck?

Perhaps sea urchins.
Maybe a giant tortoise.
Or politicians.
Haiku #59191, by
September 8, 2018 2:27 am ET

And "the rendevous"... but you have to sign in to confirm your age. Sorry Starkitten. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ssvqb03WlA
Haiku #59190, by Anonymous Poet
September 8, 2018 2:23 am ET

And of course, the acoustic cover of What What in the Butt in D minor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRJMhVDVRns
Haiku #59189, by
September 8, 2018 2:21 am ET

I often wonder
Should I launder sheets? Dry Clean?
Radioactive?

Sample: Glowing Spooge
Run it through the centrifuge
This time it's pink slime
Haiku #59188, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Diagnostics Laboratory
September 8, 2018 2:20 am ET

MacSabbath is cool, but I still like the "Monkey Rapes a Goat Music Video" best: https://ok.ru/video/884082053
Haiku #59187, by df
September 8, 2018 2:15 am ET

Meeting is great fun
What part of you is the dink?
Prepare for entry!
Haiku #59186, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Intergalactic Welcome Wagon
September 8, 2018 2:13 am ET

Leave your door unlocked
To welcome space aliens
They're always horny
Haiku #59185, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Saucer Nest
September 8, 2018 2:07 am ET

Fecal coliform
Raining Down. A real shitstorm.
Your bathroom forecast
Haiku #59184, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Weather Channel
September 8, 2018 2:02 am ET

Pink Slime in Fast Food:
Henry Mancini remains,
Fresh Pink Panther dung

That makes the starter
Picture Amish Friendship Bread
Oozing and gooey

Try their latest bread
Amish Friends with Benefits
Hurry, won't last long
Haiku #59183, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Food Promotion Board
September 8, 2018 12:25 am ET

McSabbath Meal. Good.
Rich in iron, man. Want one?
Flame broiled soul burger
Haiku #59182, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Metal
September 7, 2018 9:27 pm ET

I just got seasick
Cher. If I Could Turn Back Time.
Made room smell like fish
Haiku #59181, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 7, 2018 9:18 pm ET

aparenty there is a
band called Mac Sabbath now we
know there' is pink slime
Haiku #59180, by Goku! of https://youtu.be/m1wkfJY3AZM
September 7, 2018 9:16 pm ET

Peristalis is
true excremeditation.
Let Bob Dobbs be praised !
Haiku #59179, by Foul Stench of merely human ideals
September 7, 2018 5:14 pm ET

Try Togetherness
Synchronized Defecation
Doubles Game of Thrones
Haiku #59178, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Two Holer Club
September 7, 2018 5:01 pm ET

Bono satori:
Ski hard into a large tree
Hit head. Wake up dead.
Haiku #59177, by Chastity is a kind of gender-free charity.
September 7, 2018 4:39 pm ET

Did you come to ski?
Or be one with the tree, sir?
Winter Wonderland
Haiku #59176, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Pro Bono Legal Cervixes
September 7, 2018 4:05 pm ET

Return books to slot
Librarian on Duty
Check me out sometime
Haiku #59175, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Order of Shaved Librarians
September 7, 2018 3:56 pm ET

Contemplate Heaven
Behold the seraphim, then
Clean your shit-smeared ass
Haiku #59174, by Haiku can be considered a form of therapy.
September 7, 2018 3:56 pm ET

Bono's day: sunny
So he shared his wife: funny
got you babe/honey
Haiku #59173, by Cher Sarkisian of "just teasian"
September 7, 2018 3:52 pm ET

She's on the table
Inserted Horn of Plenty!
Pornocopia
Haiku #59172, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest All New Martha Stewart!
September 7, 2018 3:12 pm ET

You? Librarian ?
Insane libertine more like.
Send Haiku pic NOW.
Haiku #59171, by Fear of Libraries
September 7, 2018 2:52 pm ET

Do no harm Goku
Good friends are all here with you
Sip some Bad Haiku
Haiku #59170, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Tearoom and Medicinal Scones
September 7, 2018 2:50 pm ET

Shed Antler dildoes
From the mall kiosk my dear?
Let's play reindeer games!
Haiku #59169, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Deer Park and Petting Zoo
September 7, 2018 2:44 pm ET

Autumn has arrived
What will the season bring us?
Mulled Cunnilingus?
Haiku #59168, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest U-pick Vagina Orchard and Pies
September 7, 2018 2:30 pm ET

Hear the motor purr
Got low mileage vagina
As is. Has no fur.
Haiku #59167, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Very Slightly Used Vaginas
September 7, 2018 2:12 pm ET

Bangkok? Have not been.
But Bangkok has come see me
Occasionally.
Haiku #59166, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Travel Agency for Agoraphobics
September 7, 2018 1:25 pm ET

In my last Haiku
I meant to say not "Ban kok"
But Bang kok instead.
Haiku #59165, by Sick of typing on damn smartfone
September 7, 2018 9:49 am ET

well i wanted to do
myself harm over chatrooms
last night, i'm still here
Haiku #59164, by goku i guess
September 7, 2018 9:03 am ET

Bang bang bang bang bang
Your own sinful mortal flesh
In bang bang Bankok
Haiku #59163, by Hired to get tired of Thailand
September 7, 2018 8:27 am ET

Sometimes my dear wife
Is no more than a pussy
With legs. And a mouth.
Haiku #59162, by May I be forgiven by the blood of Jesus
September 7, 2018 8:21 am ET

I picture the Star
As a paunchy old geezer
Living in Bangkok
Haiku #59161, by Arrested in Thailand, of course.
September 7, 2018 8:18 am ET

We may never know:
Is Starkitten a woman
Or just some sick guy?
Haiku #59160, by Lost in the wonder of it all . . .
September 7, 2018 8:13 am ET

Shopping mall kiosks
selling quaint antique dildos.
Faux jade and antler.
Haiku #59159, by
September 7, 2018 7:53 am ET

By Pinocchio
Stiff Life with a Wood Pecker
Geppedophile Books
Haiku #59158, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Order of Perpetually Cranky Librarians
September 7, 2018 12:35 am ET

Still Life with Woodpecker.
Tom Robbins. Damn good author. I should re-read some of his stuff. Hard to find it in Asia... guess I'll download it.
Haiku #59157, by
September 7, 2018 12:01 am ET

You say "just" a drunk.
Being a drunk is hard work.
Ask any liver.

He was no prophet.
But prophets are not prophets.
Or else they'd profit.

Divine Wall Street trends.
Then become a trillionaire.
And buy more whiskey.

If you never sin,
then Jesus died for nothing.
Fuck some whores today.
Haiku #59156, by
September 6, 2018 11:58 pm ET

He'd love Bad Haiku
So skilled at Cunnilingus
Cunning Linguist
Haiku #59155, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Sandpaper Tongue Society
September 6, 2018 10:48 pm ET

What if Jim were Dad?
Biggest Electra complex
Any girl has had
Haiku #59154, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Elektra Records
September 6, 2018 10:42 pm ET

Crystal Ship released
Same month/year as Starkitten
But Jim not my Dad
Haiku #59153, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest School of Rock
September 6, 2018 10:10 pm ET

You know I love you.
Jim, He was the Lizard King
Before that Gecko!
Haiku #59152, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Wide Open Doors of Perception
September 6, 2018 9:50 pm ET