Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 250 Days and 77185 Haiku later...

well i wanted to do
myself harm over chatrooms
last night, i'm still here
Haiku # 59164, September 7, 2018 9:03 am ET
by goku i guess
Bang bang bang bang bang
Your own sinful mortal flesh
In bang bang Bankok
Haiku # 59163, September 7, 2018 8:27 am ET
by Hired to get tired of Thailand
Sometimes my dear wife
Is no more than a pussy
With legs. And a mouth.
Haiku # 59162, September 7, 2018 8:21 am ET
by May I be forgiven by the blood of Jesus
I picture the Star
As a paunchy old geezer
Living in Bangkok
Haiku # 59161, September 7, 2018 8:18 am ET
by Arrested in Thailand, of course.
We may never know:
Is Starkitten a woman
Or just some sick guy?
Haiku # 59160, September 7, 2018 8:13 am ET
by Lost in the wonder of it all . . .
Shopping mall kiosks
selling quaint antique dildos.
Faux jade and antler.
Haiku # 59159, September 7, 2018 7:53 am ET
By Pinocchio
Stiff Life with a Wood Pecker
Geppedophile Books
Haiku # 59158, September 7, 2018 12:35 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Order of Perpetually Cranky Librarians
Still Life with Woodpecker.
Tom Robbins. Damn good author. I should re-read some of his stuff. Hard to find it in Asia... guess I'll download it.
Haiku # 59157, September 7, 2018 12:01 am ET
You say "just" a drunk.
Being a drunk is hard work.
Ask any liver.

He was no prophet.
But prophets are not prophets.
Or else they'd profit.

Divine Wall Street trends.
Then become a trillionaire.
And buy more whiskey.

If you never sin,
then Jesus died for nothing.
Fuck some whores today.
Haiku # 59156, September 6, 2018 11:58 pm ET
He'd love Bad Haiku
So skilled at Cunnilingus
Cunning Linguist
Haiku # 59155, September 6, 2018 10:48 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Sandpaper Tongue Society
What if Jim were Dad?
Biggest Electra complex
Any girl has had
Haiku # 59154, September 6, 2018 10:42 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Elektra Records
Crystal Ship released
Same month/year as Starkitten
But Jim not my Dad
Haiku # 59153, September 6, 2018 10:10 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest School of Rock
You know I love you.
Jim, He was the Lizard King
Before that Gecko!
Haiku # 59152, September 6, 2018 9:50 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Wide Open Doors of Perception
OK Starkitten
Start talking about pussy
It's your feline cue
Haiku # 59151, September 6, 2018 8:47 pm ET
by Saul of Tarsus
That Jim Morrison
Ranted while drunk off his ass
then got shown the door.

He was no prophet
Nor was he a good poet
He was just a drunk.

I like some Doors songs
A few make me want to cringe
But most of them rock
Haiku # 59150, September 6, 2018 8:44 pm ET
by Make the queen of the angels sigh . . .
Been looking for you
Left a trail. Dirty Haiku
And a small glass shoe
Haiku # 59149, September 6, 2018 3:48 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Starkittenderella
Covered Wagon Ride
Magnificent Clydesdale
Oral Odyssey

Cunnilingus Coach
Carrying moaning cargo
To new horizon
Haiku # 59148, September 6, 2018 1:54 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Historical Society
Living off the grid
Reheat lasagne in kiln
Cunnilingus Yurt
Haiku # 59147, September 6, 2018 1:45 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Living the Dream
Art class nude model
Such attention to detail
Tampon string noted
Haiku # 59146, September 6, 2018 1:40 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Life Drawing Classroom
Embarrassing Erection
Still Life Woodpecker
Haiku # 59145, September 6, 2018 1:37 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Art Supply
Conjugal visit?
Penis serving life sentence
In solitary
Haiku # 59144, September 6, 2018 1:30 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest (Dirty) Books for Incarcerated Perverts
Harvest Festival
Enormous Eggplant in pants
Open kimono
Haiku # 59143, September 6, 2018 1:27 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunnilingus Sister City
Cold, Cavernous Cunt.
Cunnilingus Champion
Can crank Celsius!
Haiku # 59142, September 6, 2018 12:39 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Congested Mammoth
Malodorous Pachyderm
Wooly Bully. Dick.
Haiku # 59141, September 6, 2018 12:34 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ivory
I'm disappointed.
Snuff porn is not porn starring
Haiku # 59140, September 6, 2018 6:41 am ET
Pooh is high on crack.
Eyore went to Tijuana.
Tigger's a porn star.
Haiku # 59139, September 6, 2018 6:37 am ET
Phlebotomists flee
flying flatulent flautists
flipping flagrant phlegm.
Haiku # 59138, September 6, 2018 6:34 am ET
Don't strain when you poo.
Let it come out on its own.
Just like Groundhog Day.
Haiku # 59137, September 6, 2018 6:25 am ET
James Taylor. Wanking.
Shower the people you love...
With..Zip up your pants.
Haiku # 59136, September 6, 2018 2:27 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Lite Rock
Crisp leaves underfoot
Cunnilingus in the air
First breath of autumn
Haiku # 59135, September 6, 2018 2:14 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Preparation H
And Prisoner Cell Block H
Made for Down Under
Haiku # 59134, September 5, 2018 10:07 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Wet Haikulingus
I admire your long pen
Is it really real?
Haiku # 59133, September 5, 2018 10:02 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest cat tree
Boring Desk Job Hack
Put googly eyes on hemorrhoids
Think outside of box

Jack off in the box
That's what they call Mayonnaise
How's your day so far?

Back to the hemorrhoid
It's singing Blue Oyster Cult
I'm Burning for You
Haiku # 59132, September 5, 2018 9:51 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
No more naughty talk.
Haiku just got mad at me.
She sounded fishy.
Haiku # 59131, September 5, 2018 9:26 pm ET
by I'm not scared (or scaled) of the Sashimi Shimmy
Woke up to work up
She's still on that sushi roll . . .
Hope I'm getting fresh
Haiku # 59130, September 5, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Choosy Sushi Chef, heard of N. Korean DOG sushi?
Fresh rolled sushi here
Kamikaze clitoris
That's your wake up call
Haiku # 59129, September 5, 2018 6:40 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Haiku Hotel
Who's burning their Nikes?
Show of hands!
I bought some new ones... For about $15.
Haiku # 59128, September 5, 2018 5:50 pm ET
I'd rather eat out a rabid baboon's asshole while getting gangbanged by kangaroos on meth.
Haiku # 59127, September 5, 2018 5:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Caps lock off. Farewell.
Haiku # 59126, September 5, 2018 5:36 pm ET
by Nipponese Nemesis, sort of .
Naked in wheelchair
Shuddering with Haiku verse
I roll into you.
Haiku # 59125, September 5, 2018 5:33 pm ET
by Nipponese Wheelchairs are made of pure poetic imagery.
Pink pink pink pink pink
But darker at the edges
of wet universe
Haiku # 59124, September 5, 2018 5:28 pm ET
by Liberated Librarian Liaison Linkage of Lechery
You keeping busy?
Sent you a box of panties
From the nursing home
Haiku # 59123, September 5, 2018 5:23 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Low Mileage Vaginas
Don't take your licking
Lying down. Open your snatch
(jaws of victory)
Haiku # 59122, September 5, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by Hiroshima WHOOPS YOU ARE A MAN of course it was not obvious at first
Harvest Festival
Replaced with private concert:
Skin Flute Sonata
Haiku # 59121, September 5, 2018 5:20 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Conservatory of Music
Starkitten will fall
DOOM is here. Don't play with string
and don't lap star-milk
Haiku # 59120, September 5, 2018 5:16 pm ET
by Nagashima Hirosaki thinks of you every time he voids his Haiku
Librarian moans
From the cunnilingus nook
Long overdue. Fine.
Haiku # 59119, September 5, 2018 5:15 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Moist Librarians Association
The temple harvest
festival in the moonlight
was cut off somehow
Haiku # 59118, September 5, 2018 5:12 pm ET
by Submit this you unpoetic gaijin filth; of course you cut off my temple harvest festival in moonlight
Oral-to-mouth prayer:
funniest cunnilingus,
yet almost holy.
Haiku # 59117, September 5, 2018 5:04 pm ET
by Hirosaki Nagashima of course. PS: My haiku used, owned, then sold your mama . . . at a Haiku garage sale. On the island of Honshu. After temple harves
I, Hirosaki
Nagashima: the greatest
Haiku superstar
Haiku # 59116, September 5, 2018 4:56 pm ET
by I already told you, filthy gaijin hairy pink ape--are you not aware of the splendor of my rising sun? BANZAAAAAIIIIIII !!!! 💥
You, you Starkitten
stop that cunnilingus talk.
(Pink hairy Haiku)
Haiku # 59115, September 5, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by Horizontal Orifice of Artifice of Transnational Haiku Holdings Inc.
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