Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

Don't take your licking
Lying down. Open your snatch
(jaws of victory)
Haiku # 59122, September 5, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by Hiroshima WHOOPS YOU ARE A MAN of course it was not obvious at first
Harvest Festival
Replaced with private concert:
Skin Flute Sonata
Haiku # 59121, September 5, 2018 5:20 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Conservatory of Music
Starkitten will fall
DOOM is here. Don't play with string
and don't lap star-milk
Haiku # 59120, September 5, 2018 5:16 pm ET
by Nagashima Hirosaki thinks of you every time he voids his Haiku
Librarian moans
From the cunnilingus nook
Long overdue. Fine.
Haiku # 59119, September 5, 2018 5:15 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Moist Librarians Association
The temple harvest
festival in the moonlight
was cut off somehow
Haiku # 59118, September 5, 2018 5:12 pm ET
by Submit this you unpoetic gaijin filth; of course you cut off my temple harvest festival in moonlight
Oral-to-mouth prayer:
funniest cunnilingus,
yet almost holy.
Haiku # 59117, September 5, 2018 5:04 pm ET
by Hirosaki Nagashima of course. PS: My haiku used, owned, then sold your mama . . . at a Haiku garage sale. On the island of Honshu. After temple harves
I, Hirosaki
Nagashima: the greatest
Haiku superstar
Haiku # 59116, September 5, 2018 4:56 pm ET
by I already told you, filthy gaijin hairy pink ape--are you not aware of the splendor of my rising sun? BANZAAAAAIIIIIII !!!! 💥
You, you Starkitten
stop that cunnilingus talk.
(Pink hairy Haiku)
Haiku # 59115, September 5, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by Horizontal Orifice of Artifice of Transnational Haiku Holdings Inc.
Hey You Starkitten
Stop talk so much about poop
And get back to work
Haiku # 59114, September 5, 2018 4:43 pm ET
by Yu Think yu get paid to write useless shit? of course not. I don't pay yu stand around look pretty
until I get caps lock off
and get myself off
Haiku # 59113, September 5, 2018 4:39 pm ET
by 5/7/5 Pissed in Basho's carp pool when i was drunk on Haiku of Cabbages and Kings
Starkitten, it's time
to make your full transition
to hormone heaven.
Haiku # 59112, September 5, 2018 4:35 pm ET
by Celestial Ambrosial Bestial Vestal of the Unmortared Pestle of Your Imminent Haiku Implosion
Bono lost his bitch
virtue-signaling to mom.
Just strum your geetar.
Haiku # 59111, September 5, 2018 4:29 pm ET
by Sonny and Cher Bonehead of boner poppers of London Ltd
Haiku is Japa-
nese. Dirty knees look at these
harmonious verses.
Haiku # 59110, September 5, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Nagashima Hirosaki of smoking ruins of poetics
About the poem:
shut up now and contemplate
big fake Chinese moon
Haiku # 59109, September 5, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by moonlight over frontier gate of old inn of lost happiness where the taoist sage went to die in the arms of courtesan kwanyin
Your plum wine and pipe
Another cheap chinese trick:
no happy ending
Haiku # 59108, September 5, 2018 4:13 pm ET
by Disorientalizing Landscape of Ji Xsiang accept VISA paypal encrypted thunder upon the flowing mountain of jade happiness gate
You! Old man Ji Xsiang
Too long you dwell on the heights.
Pay with VISA card
Haiku # 59107, September 5, 2018 4:09 pm ET
by Disorientalizing Tendency of Paypal encrypted
Stench of your verses
fouls the holy limpid air . . .
scrawl your way out, bitch.
Haiku # 59106, September 5, 2018 4:04 pm ET
by Disorientalizing Tendency of Ji Xsiang accept VISA
Bono lost his voice
So now he's looking for that
And the other thing
Haiku # 59105, September 5, 2018 1:51 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Bono lost his voice
So now he's looking for that
And the other thing
Haiku # 59104, September 5, 2018 1:50 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Have you heard of this?
Removed all clothes to take shit.
Knew someone like that.
Haiku # 59103, September 5, 2018 1:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Why do cashiers ask
How's your day going so far?
Stop saying "PERFECT!"
Haiku # 59102, September 5, 2018 1:33 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Some Van Morrison
Buy her cider and apples
Fall. Cunnilingus.
Haiku # 59101, September 5, 2018 1:27 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunnilingus Committee
Young Warren Beatty
You see yourself as this, sir
More Pee Wee Herman
Haiku # 59100, September 5, 2018 11:20 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Advice
Acrobatics. Fun.
Cunnilingus Somersault
Practice your routine
Haiku # 59099, September 5, 2018 10:45 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Trapeze School
Dude, She needs Haiku
Good coffee, Cunnilingus
Come on, make her smile.
Haiku # 59098, September 5, 2018 10:27 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Marrisge Enciunter
My wife resembles the McDonald's "Grimace" from behind when she is naked. Or perhaps Barney the dinosaur. Fat purple bulging drooping sagging bloated and I just want to run away and live in a sewer like the IT clown. That actually looks kind of fun.
Haiku # 59097, September 5, 2018 9:19 am ET
Hop on Pop? wait..Hey
On Incest Awareness Day?
Uncle Seuss, Not Today!!
Haiku # 59096, September 4, 2018 10:19 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Teacher Librarians
Did Ronco make that?
Knife ads on TV. Ginsu.
Thin slice. Roast Haiku.
Haiku # 59095, September 4, 2018 10:10 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Knife Sharpening
He craves mouth music
Gets around. All the venues.
Limp shrimp on menu.

Muzak while dining
Bloody pants now crimson. Stained.
Deboned and Deveined.
Haiku # 59094, September 4, 2018 8:38 pm ET
by Sandy Paper of Vancouver BC Cheque please
always an answer
but it is the song that never
ends, ends, ends, ends...
Haiku # 59093, September 4, 2018 8:27 pm ET
by It'sGOKU! of sporting goods
Carpentry Project.
Reclaimed Wood. Built a new bench.
Blow jobs in comfort

Should be portable
Eve: First female Carpenter
Made banana stand

Shel Bussey in drag
You measure twice and cut once
Blow Jobs: not so much

Seen bench around town
He needs D.I.Y. Project
Build him a cage, girl.

"Private" Detective
Haiku # 59092, September 4, 2018 8:26 pm ET
by Sandy Paper of Vancouver BC
Astrotheme website
All Compatibilities
Kurt Cobain and me
Haiku # 59091, September 4, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
I feel like courtney
love is having a nervous
breakdown posting haiku...
Haiku # 59090, September 4, 2018 6:50 pm ET
by It'sGOKU!
Dildo in fridge: Coldplay
Went to Putney School with her
She was a coke fiend
Haiku # 59089, September 4, 2018 6:44 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Better lawyer up
Paltrow gonna sue, Goku
Jail. Sudoku. You.
Haiku # 59088, September 4, 2018 6:26 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Conjugal Visitors
mises, human action
she responded gazundheit
austrian skool, you
Haiku # 59087, September 4, 2018 5:52 pm ET
by GokuItsGOKU!
Give back the dildo.
Rightful owner is pissed off
Signed, Gwyneth Paltrow
Haiku # 59086, September 4, 2018 4:30 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Goop Scoop
Shoe shopping again
I work full time with camels
Walking behind them
Haiku # 59085, September 4, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Camels
Didn't you love it
When those cats picked up the tab?
Free Breakfast. Gene Rosen.
Haiku # 59084, September 4, 2018 2:22 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Incredible Edible Egg
how many people are
you having a convo with
fucking DID

we are legion
so say the alters and one
insist they've antlers

fucking rudolph
Haiku # 59083, September 4, 2018 1:54 pm ET
by Goku of previously known as VHS
Instant millionaire
Funny how things turn out
Solid Gold Dildo
Haiku # 59082, September 4, 2018 12:38 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Antique Dildo Roadshows
Hello, Zoo monkey
Can't offer you position
Haiku # 59081, September 4, 2018 12:35 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Masturbation Zoo
Easy solution.
Just pour table salt on it
Like a garden slug
Haiku # 59080, September 4, 2018 12:25 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Penis Haters
Facebook. Disturbing.
Pics sent to friend by stranger.
Dick next to beer can
Haiku # 59079, September 4, 2018 12:23 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Discount Beverage
Hello, Zoo Monkey?
You got the job.Start Wednesday.
Bring that used dildo.

We provide your lunch.
Zoo visitors buy your treats
Please have a clean ass
Haiku # 59078, September 4, 2018 12:19 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Employment Agency
What is the most disturbing thing you have seen on Facebook?
Haiku # 59077, September 4, 2018 7:22 am ET
I promise I won't throw my poo this time.
Please remove the restraints.
Well, fuck you then, buddy!
Haiku # 59076, September 4, 2018 7:21 am ET
I'd like to get a job where I just sit around playing with myself all day long. I would lounge around behind a 2 way mirror. People could take pictures of me. Kind of like a zoo monkey. I mean, why not? Call it performance art or something. Get a government grant.
Haiku # 59075, September 4, 2018 7:19 am ET
Dumpster dive a gourmet meal.
Find an old wallet filled with cash.
And a slightly used ipod.
Brand new shoes.
And a dildo.
But the dildo was used, I'm pretty sure.
Haiku # 59074, September 4, 2018 7:15 am ET
Goddamn... I have work to do and I don't want to do any of it... I just want to quit and live out of dumpsters. In the US that's not a problem... I don't recommend it in a 3rd world country.
Haiku # 59073, September 4, 2018 7:13 am ET
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