BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
67 Days
and
69674 Haikus
later...
I, Hirosaki
Nagashima: the greatest
Haiku superstar
Haiku #59116, by I already told you, filthy gaijin hairy pink ape--are you not aware of the splendor of my rising sun? BANZAAAAAIIIIIII !!!! 💥
September 5, 2018 4:56 pm ET

You, you Starkitten
stop that cunnilingus talk.
(Pink hairy Haiku)
Haiku #59115, by Horizontal Orifice of Artifice of Transnational Haiku Holdings Inc.
September 5, 2018 4:49 pm ET

Hey You Starkitten
Stop talk so much about poop
And get back to work
Haiku #59114, by Yu Think yu get paid to write useless shit? of course not. I don't pay yu stand around look pretty
September 5, 2018 4:43 pm ET

TYPE ANY DAMN THING
until I get caps lock off
and get myself off
Haiku #59113, by 5/7/5 Pissed in Basho's carp pool when i was drunk on Haiku of Cabbages and Kings
September 5, 2018 4:39 pm ET

Starkitten, it's time
to make your full transition
to hormone heaven.
Haiku #59112, by Celestial Ambrosial Bestial Vestal of the Unmortared Pestle of Your Imminent Haiku Implosion
September 5, 2018 4:35 pm ET

Bono lost his bitch
virtue-signaling to mom.
Just strum your geetar.
Haiku #59111, by Sonny and Cher Bonehead of boner poppers of London Ltd
September 5, 2018 4:29 pm ET

Haiku is Japa-
nese. Dirty knees look at these
harmonious verses.
Haiku #59110, by Nagashima Hirosaki of smoking ruins of poetics
September 5, 2018 4:24 pm ET

About the poem:
shut up now and contemplate
big fake Chinese moon
Haiku #59109, by moonlight over frontier gate of old inn of lost happiness where the taoist sage went to die in the arms of courtesan kwanyin
September 5, 2018 4:18 pm ET

Your plum wine and pipe
Another cheap chinese trick:
no happy ending
Haiku #59108, by Disorientalizing Landscape of Ji Xsiang accept VISA paypal encrypted thunder upon the flowing mountain of jade happiness gate
September 5, 2018 4:13 pm ET

You! Old man Ji Xsiang
Too long you dwell on the heights.
Pay with VISA card
Haiku #59107, by Disorientalizing Tendency of Paypal encrypted
September 5, 2018 4:09 pm ET

Stench of your verses
fouls the holy limpid air . . .
scrawl your way out, bitch.
Haiku #59106, by Disorientalizing Tendency of Ji Xsiang accept VISA
September 5, 2018 4:04 pm ET

Bono lost his voice
So now he's looking for that
And the other thing
Haiku #59105, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 5, 2018 1:51 pm ET

Bono lost his voice
So now he's looking for that
And the other thing
Haiku #59104, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 5, 2018 1:50 pm ET

Have you heard of this?
Removed all clothes to take shit.
Knew someone like that.
Haiku #59103, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 5, 2018 1:41 pm ET

Why do cashiers ask
How's your day going so far?
Stop saying "PERFECT!"
Haiku #59102, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 5, 2018 1:33 pm ET

Some Van Morrison
Buy her cider and apples
Fall. Cunnilingus.
Haiku #59101, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunnilingus Committee
September 5, 2018 1:27 pm ET

Young Warren Beatty
You see yourself as this, sir
More Pee Wee Herman
Haiku #59100, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Advice
September 5, 2018 11:20 am ET

Acrobatics. Fun.
Cunnilingus Somersault
Practice your routine
Haiku #59099, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Trapeze School
September 5, 2018 10:45 am ET

Dude, She needs Haiku
Good coffee, Cunnilingus
Come on, make her smile.
Haiku #59098, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Marrisge Enciunter
September 5, 2018 10:27 am ET

My wife resembles the McDonald's "Grimace" from behind when she is naked. Or perhaps Barney the dinosaur. Fat purple bulging drooping sagging bloated and I just want to run away and live in a sewer like the IT clown. That actually looks kind of fun.
Haiku #59097, by
September 5, 2018 9:19 am ET

Hop on Pop? wait..Hey
On Incest Awareness Day?
Uncle Seuss, Not Today!!
Haiku #59096, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Teacher Librarians
September 4, 2018 10:19 pm ET

Did Ronco make that?
Knife ads on TV. Ginsu.
Thin slice. Roast Haiku.
Haiku #59095, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Knife Sharpening
September 4, 2018 10:10 pm ET

He craves mouth music
Gets around. All the venues.
Limp shrimp on menu.

Muzak while dining
Bloody pants now crimson. Stained.
Deboned and Deveined.
Haiku #59094, by Sandy Paper of Vancouver BC Cheque please
September 4, 2018 8:38 pm ET

always an answer
but it is the song that never
ends, ends, ends, ends...
Haiku #59093, by It'sGOKU! of sporting goods
September 4, 2018 8:27 pm ET

Carpentry Project.
Reclaimed Wood. Built a new bench.
Blow jobs in comfort

Should be portable
Eve: First female Carpenter
Made banana stand

Shel Bussey in drag
You measure twice and cut once
Blow Jobs: not so much

Seen bench around town
He needs D.I.Y. Project
Build him a cage, girl.


"Private" Detective
Haiku #59092, by Sandy Paper of Vancouver BC
September 4, 2018 8:26 pm ET

Astrotheme website
All Compatibilities
Kurt Cobain and me
Haiku #59091, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 4, 2018 7:19 pm ET

I feel like courtney
love is having a nervous
breakdown posting haiku...
Haiku #59090, by It'sGOKU!
September 4, 2018 6:50 pm ET

Dildo in fridge: Coldplay
Went to Putney School with her
She was a coke fiend
Haiku #59089, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 4, 2018 6:44 pm ET

Better lawyer up
Paltrow gonna sue, Goku
Jail. Sudoku. You.
Haiku #59088, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Conjugal Visitors
September 4, 2018 6:26 pm ET

mises, human action
she responded gazundheit
austrian skool, you
Haiku #59087, by GokuItsGOKU!
September 4, 2018 5:52 pm ET

Give back the dildo.
Rightful owner is pissed off
Signed, Gwyneth Paltrow
Haiku #59086, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Goop Scoop
September 4, 2018 4:30 pm ET

Shoe shopping again
I work full time with camels
Walking behind them
Haiku #59085, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Camels
September 4, 2018 4:18 pm ET

Didn't you love it
When those cats picked up the tab?
Free Breakfast. Gene Rosen.
Haiku #59084, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Incredible Edible Egg
September 4, 2018 2:22 pm ET

how many people are
you having a convo with
fucking DID

we are legion
so say the alters and one
insist they've antlers

fucking rudolph
Haiku #59083, by Goku of previously known as VHS
September 4, 2018 1:54 pm ET

Instant millionaire
Funny how things turn out
Solid Gold Dildo
Haiku #59082, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Antique Dildo Roadshows
September 4, 2018 12:38 pm ET

Hello, Zoo monkey
Can't offer you position
Overqualified
Haiku #59081, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Masturbation Zoo
September 4, 2018 12:35 pm ET

Easy solution.
Just pour table salt on it
Like a garden slug
Haiku #59080, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Penis Haters
September 4, 2018 12:25 pm ET

Facebook. Disturbing.
Pics sent to friend by stranger.
Dick next to beer can
Haiku #59079, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Discount Beverage
September 4, 2018 12:23 pm ET

Hello, Zoo Monkey?
You got the job.Start Wednesday.
Bring that used dildo.

We provide your lunch.
Zoo visitors buy your treats
Please have a clean ass
Haiku #59078, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Employment Agency
September 4, 2018 12:19 pm ET

What is the most disturbing thing you have seen on Facebook?
Haiku #59077, by
September 4, 2018 7:22 am ET

I promise I won't throw my poo this time.
Please remove the restraints.
Well, fuck you then, buddy!
Haiku #59076, by
September 4, 2018 7:21 am ET

I'd like to get a job where I just sit around playing with myself all day long. I would lounge around behind a 2 way mirror. People could take pictures of me. Kind of like a zoo monkey. I mean, why not? Call it performance art or something. Get a government grant.
Haiku #59075, by
September 4, 2018 7:19 am ET

Dumpster dive a gourmet meal.
Find an old wallet filled with cash.
And a slightly used ipod.
Brand new shoes.
And a dildo.
But the dildo was used, I'm pretty sure.
Haiku #59074, by
September 4, 2018 7:15 am ET

Goddamn... I have work to do and I don't want to do any of it... I just want to quit and live out of dumpsters. In the US that's not a problem... I don't recommend it in a 3rd world country.
Haiku #59073, by
September 4, 2018 7:13 am ET

Why can't women poop alone?
I mean, why is that?
Haiku #59072, by
September 4, 2018 7:11 am ET

I've seen a lot about eating bugs lately. Funny that I just got back from the land of bug eaters. Yes they are high in protein, but to make them taste good requires a lot of salt. High blood pressure results. I'll pass on the MSG grasshoppers. Popcorn is fine.
Haiku #59071, by
September 4, 2018 7:09 am ET

My wife is drinking.
I hope that she passes out.
I'll fuck her cute friend.
Haiku #59070, by
September 4, 2018 7:06 am ET

Poop poop poop poop poop.
Poop poop poop poop poop poop poop.
Poop poop poop poop poop.
Haiku #59069, by Beavis
September 4, 2018 7:05 am ET

It's not about length
Freud spoke of "Haiku Envy"
A matter of depth
Haiku #59068, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Egotists
September 4, 2018 1:13 am ET

Tell me what you think?
Statute of limitations
For the rock throwing?
Haiku #59067, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest...He should turn himself in
September 4, 2018 12:44 am ET