Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

Harvest Festival
Enormous Eggplant in pants
Open kimono
Haiku # 59143, September 6, 2018 1:27 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunnilingus Sister City
Cold, Cavernous Cunt.
Cunnilingus Champion
Can crank Celsius!
Haiku # 59142, September 6, 2018 12:39 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Congested Mammoth
Malodorous Pachyderm
Wooly Bully. Dick.
Haiku # 59141, September 6, 2018 12:34 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ivory
I'm disappointed.
Snuff porn is not porn starring
Haiku # 59140, September 6, 2018 6:41 am ET
Pooh is high on crack.
Eyore went to Tijuana.
Tigger's a porn star.
Haiku # 59139, September 6, 2018 6:37 am ET
Phlebotomists flee
flying flatulent flautists
flipping flagrant phlegm.
Haiku # 59138, September 6, 2018 6:34 am ET
Don't strain when you poo.
Let it come out on its own.
Just like Groundhog Day.
Haiku # 59137, September 6, 2018 6:25 am ET
James Taylor. Wanking.
Shower the people you love...
With..Zip up your pants.
Haiku # 59136, September 6, 2018 2:27 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Lite Rock
Crisp leaves underfoot
Cunnilingus in the air
First breath of autumn
Haiku # 59135, September 6, 2018 2:14 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Preparation H
And Prisoner Cell Block H
Made for Down Under
Haiku # 59134, September 5, 2018 10:07 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Wet Haikulingus
I admire your long pen
Is it really real?
Haiku # 59133, September 5, 2018 10:02 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest cat tree
Boring Desk Job Hack
Put googly eyes on hemorrhoids
Think outside of box

Jack off in the box
That's what they call Mayonnaise
How's your day so far?

Back to the hemorrhoid
It's singing Blue Oyster Cult
I'm Burning for You
Haiku # 59132, September 5, 2018 9:51 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
No more naughty talk.
Haiku just got mad at me.
She sounded fishy.
Haiku # 59131, September 5, 2018 9:26 pm ET
by I'm not scared (or scaled) of the Sashimi Shimmy
Woke up to work up
She's still on that sushi roll . . .
Hope I'm getting fresh
Haiku # 59130, September 5, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Choosy Sushi Chef, heard of N. Korean DOG sushi?
Fresh rolled sushi here
Kamikaze clitoris
That's your wake up call
Haiku # 59129, September 5, 2018 6:40 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Haiku Hotel
Who's burning their Nikes?
Show of hands!
I bought some new ones... For about $15.
Haiku # 59128, September 5, 2018 5:50 pm ET
I'd rather eat out a rabid baboon's asshole while getting gangbanged by kangaroos on meth.
Haiku # 59127, September 5, 2018 5:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Caps lock off. Farewell.
Haiku # 59126, September 5, 2018 5:36 pm ET
by Nipponese Nemesis, sort of .
Naked in wheelchair
Shuddering with Haiku verse
I roll into you.
Haiku # 59125, September 5, 2018 5:33 pm ET
by Nipponese Wheelchairs are made of pure poetic imagery.
Pink pink pink pink pink
But darker at the edges
of wet universe
Haiku # 59124, September 5, 2018 5:28 pm ET
by Liberated Librarian Liaison Linkage of Lechery
You keeping busy?
Sent you a box of panties
From the nursing home
Haiku # 59123, September 5, 2018 5:23 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Low Mileage Vaginas
Don't take your licking
Lying down. Open your snatch
(jaws of victory)
Haiku # 59122, September 5, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by Hiroshima WHOOPS YOU ARE A MAN of course it was not obvious at first
Harvest Festival
Replaced with private concert:
Skin Flute Sonata
Haiku # 59121, September 5, 2018 5:20 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Conservatory of Music
Starkitten will fall
DOOM is here. Don't play with string
and don't lap star-milk
Haiku # 59120, September 5, 2018 5:16 pm ET
by Nagashima Hirosaki thinks of you every time he voids his Haiku
Librarian moans
From the cunnilingus nook
Long overdue. Fine.
Haiku # 59119, September 5, 2018 5:15 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Moist Librarians Association
The temple harvest
festival in the moonlight
was cut off somehow
Haiku # 59118, September 5, 2018 5:12 pm ET
by Submit this you unpoetic gaijin filth; of course you cut off my temple harvest festival in moonlight
Oral-to-mouth prayer:
funniest cunnilingus,
yet almost holy.
Haiku # 59117, September 5, 2018 5:04 pm ET
by Hirosaki Nagashima of course. PS: My haiku used, owned, then sold your mama . . . at a Haiku garage sale. On the island of Honshu. After temple harves
I, Hirosaki
Nagashima: the greatest
Haiku superstar
Haiku # 59116, September 5, 2018 4:56 pm ET
by I already told you, filthy gaijin hairy pink ape--are you not aware of the splendor of my rising sun? BANZAAAAAIIIIIII !!!! 💥
You, you Starkitten
stop that cunnilingus talk.
(Pink hairy Haiku)
Haiku # 59115, September 5, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by Horizontal Orifice of Artifice of Transnational Haiku Holdings Inc.
Hey You Starkitten
Stop talk so much about poop
And get back to work
Haiku # 59114, September 5, 2018 4:43 pm ET
by Yu Think yu get paid to write useless shit? of course not. I don't pay yu stand around look pretty
until I get caps lock off
and get myself off
Haiku # 59113, September 5, 2018 4:39 pm ET
by 5/7/5 Pissed in Basho's carp pool when i was drunk on Haiku of Cabbages and Kings
Starkitten, it's time
to make your full transition
to hormone heaven.
Haiku # 59112, September 5, 2018 4:35 pm ET
by Celestial Ambrosial Bestial Vestal of the Unmortared Pestle of Your Imminent Haiku Implosion
Bono lost his bitch
virtue-signaling to mom.
Just strum your geetar.
Haiku # 59111, September 5, 2018 4:29 pm ET
by Sonny and Cher Bonehead of boner poppers of London Ltd
Haiku is Japa-
nese. Dirty knees look at these
harmonious verses.
Haiku # 59110, September 5, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Nagashima Hirosaki of smoking ruins of poetics
About the poem:
shut up now and contemplate
big fake Chinese moon
Haiku # 59109, September 5, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by moonlight over frontier gate of old inn of lost happiness where the taoist sage went to die in the arms of courtesan kwanyin
Your plum wine and pipe
Another cheap chinese trick:
no happy ending
Haiku # 59108, September 5, 2018 4:13 pm ET
by Disorientalizing Landscape of Ji Xsiang accept VISA paypal encrypted thunder upon the flowing mountain of jade happiness gate
You! Old man Ji Xsiang
Too long you dwell on the heights.
Pay with VISA card
Haiku # 59107, September 5, 2018 4:09 pm ET
by Disorientalizing Tendency of Paypal encrypted
Stench of your verses
fouls the holy limpid air . . .
scrawl your way out, bitch.
Haiku # 59106, September 5, 2018 4:04 pm ET
by Disorientalizing Tendency of Ji Xsiang accept VISA
Bono lost his voice
So now he's looking for that
And the other thing
Haiku # 59105, September 5, 2018 1:51 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Bono lost his voice
So now he's looking for that
And the other thing
Haiku # 59104, September 5, 2018 1:50 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Have you heard of this?
Removed all clothes to take shit.
Knew someone like that.
Haiku # 59103, September 5, 2018 1:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Why do cashiers ask
How's your day going so far?
Stop saying "PERFECT!"
Haiku # 59102, September 5, 2018 1:33 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Some Van Morrison
Buy her cider and apples
Fall. Cunnilingus.
Haiku # 59101, September 5, 2018 1:27 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunnilingus Committee
Young Warren Beatty
You see yourself as this, sir
More Pee Wee Herman
Haiku # 59100, September 5, 2018 11:20 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Advice
Acrobatics. Fun.
Cunnilingus Somersault
Practice your routine
Haiku # 59099, September 5, 2018 10:45 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Trapeze School
Dude, She needs Haiku
Good coffee, Cunnilingus
Come on, make her smile.
Haiku # 59098, September 5, 2018 10:27 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Marrisge Enciunter
My wife resembles the McDonald's "Grimace" from behind when she is naked. Or perhaps Barney the dinosaur. Fat purple bulging drooping sagging bloated and I just want to run away and live in a sewer like the IT clown. That actually looks kind of fun.
Haiku # 59097, September 5, 2018 9:19 am ET
Hop on Pop? wait..Hey
On Incest Awareness Day?
Uncle Seuss, Not Today!!
Haiku # 59096, September 4, 2018 10:19 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Teacher Librarians
Did Ronco make that?
Knife ads on TV. Ginsu.
Thin slice. Roast Haiku.
Haiku # 59095, September 4, 2018 10:10 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Knife Sharpening
He craves mouth music
Gets around. All the venues.
Limp shrimp on menu.

Muzak while dining
Bloody pants now crimson. Stained.
Deboned and Deveined.
Haiku # 59094, September 4, 2018 8:38 pm ET
by Sandy Paper of Vancouver BC Cheque please
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >